"Jamie, I think it was rude of you to embarrass Mrs Sneedley like that yesterday"
"Mom! I just asked a simple question about, well, you know, how they did it in olden days...that's all!"
"It was a sex question, Jamie. Don't pretend it was otherwise."
"Well the Baby Boom seemed to pass them by...I notice they don't have kids and never mention any. Maybe they just don't...."
"Stop that now, Jamie!"
"Just sayin'..."
"Colin, have a word with your son"
"Me? Oh, well, you see when a mummy bee and a daddy bee love each other..."
"Dad! We've had this talk like back in Grade 5!"
"Nothing like a refresher course, though..."
"Oh, is that the time? I have to get to school...Dad, it's been really interesting, really it has."
That's the first time I've been saved by the bell to go TO school! But a day of algebra, ancient history and Spanish grammar is far preferable to having dad fumble around telling me about the birds and the bees!
School was OK, though. I didn't see Julie...or her friend, Colleen or even wild Morgan either but nevertheless it was OK and I'm maintaining a B average which is an improvement. My music teacher was positive though...told me I had some talent at playing guitar and that I should stick at it. That would be great but right now I don't own a guitar...I have to borrow them from other people. But if I want to impress my music teacher, and the girls, and win friends and influence people then I'm going to need one all of my own and that means getting money to buy one.
Time to hit the Bank of Mom And Dad...
"And I'm making so much progress at music, I'm very nearly an A student, but I need to practice more so it makes sense to do that from home instead of using the school's own musical instruments, see?"
"I'm glad you're doing well at school, Jamie, but money's tight at the moment: We sunk a lot of our savings into buying this house and your father's only been at his place of work for a few weeks so he can't ask for a raise yet."
"Aww, Mom, can't we...you know...dip into our savings?"
"Why not dip into yours?"
"Well...that's....a good question...but...but...how about I get a part time job?"
"Your studies, remember?"
"Oh...that. It's just that I'm on the verge of getting an A in music, that's all."
"Jamie...I tell you what. We'll start a collection fund for getting you a guitar. Save a little here, a little there and in no time you'll have enough."
And with a shrug of my shoulders, I have to agree with her. I can't magic up money none of us have. Time for the grind of homework...
Now that's done, I'm at a loose end. Next to the telephone is a flyer for something called the Humour & Hijinks Festival downtown. Now that sounds interesting...a bit of stand up comedy, some clowning around and competitions based on practical joking. OK, I'm game for a laugh...I think I'll wear my new shirt and you never know, some groovy chicks might there there. But my hopes are dashed when I see that the rules stipulate OVER 18s ONLY. I don't have any I.D. to get me in! Man, this just sucks...
I go outside and kick a small rock down the road as I contemplate the inherent unfairness of live on today's young man.
"I've got a favour to ask you...I've written some new jokes and I need a test subject. You free for the next hour?"
"Sure. I am free and in need of a distraction"
"I thought you'd be at the Humour & Hijinks Festival, Johnny"
"Oh I'm boycotting that!"
"Why?"
"Well, I say 'boycott' but it's more accurate to say I'm banned from there. I've got powerful enemies in this town, Jamie. Do you want a beer?"
"A beer? Well, gee, I don't know..."
"Do your parents not approve?"
"I've had a beer with Dad before...at home. But, hey, sure. Just one; I don't want to go home smelling of liquor you know"
"Quite wise. Anyway I don't want to get bogged down in details but I'm not welcome at the Festival due to falling out with two of its prominent patrons"
"For a moment I thought it might have been some kind of Mafia gang you'd fallen foul of when you said 'powerful enemies'"
"That's not a million miles away from the truth....but like I said, I don't want to talk about that. It would be criminal to waste these jokes, though, and I won't get Ma-fee-ah! HONK!"
"You can't trust atoms...they make up everything! HONK! I used to live a hand to mouth existence...then I discovered cutlery! HONK!...How's it sounding, Jamie?"
"Yeah, very funny...say, I didn't know you played guitar?"
"Oh I dabble now and again. I should really play the thing instead. Do you play guitar?"
"Yeah, I do...do you mind if I have a go on yours? I don't have a guitar of my own yet."
"Go ahead"
"You're pretty good...maybe you could be a warm up act for my comedy?"
"Do you think so?"
"In another year...that's not to slight your playing, it's just that most venues I play at are strictly over 18 or 21."
"The story of my life...just too young to do anything really interesting"
"Say, have you seen that cute blonde chick you dig since we last talked?"
"Oh Judy...yeah, man, I met her just over a week ago and I introduced myself to her....thanks for the advice about just going for it."
"And?...."
"And what?"
"Have you asked her out?"
"Phhht...no....I mean, I'm playing it cool right now. I told her my name, said I played guitar in a band..."
"And do you?"
"No...but that's not the point! The point was to make a good impression on her"
"So did you swap phone numbers?"
"No"
"Do you know where she lives?"
"No"
"Does she know where you live?"
"No"
"Did you agree to meet up again?"
"Not exactly..."
"Then how did you leave a good impression on her?"
"Well...you know...in a kind of initial introductory kind of way"
"Your homework for next week is to go up and talk to her, have a conversation filled with the wit, banter and repartee and get her phone number"
"But...what if she says no? That would be too much to bear!"
"Then you move on to the next bird. It's not rocket science!"
"Rocket science I can handle...it's girls that require some kind of advanced PhD to understand"
I don't think Johnny knows how tough the dating scene is in high school these days. Sure, back in his day it was all bobby socks, cruising in cars and doing your hair like Elvis...girls in 1966 are complex: They want more, they judge you more and they've evolved into a superior species. Like back in my parent's day it seemed like if you were a young guy you could just walk up to any girl, ask them to marry you and they'd have to say yes. That's the impression I get from my folks and the Sneedleys anyway. In Johnny's high school days it was probably a little more complicated but if you said and did the right things you'd land a girl as well. Now, the chicks look better than at any time in history but there's like a million things you can get wrong just trying to know them. I have to evolve to become attractive to them....the problem is I don't know how!
I head home, but up ahead I see Mrs Sneedley out on a run...I'd better duck down and sneak back to the house before she can see me and give another lecture about morals...
Dad's home and he wants to talk to me...I hope it isn't either a morals lecture or the birds and the bees talk.
"Son, your mother and I have had a conversation and we've decided on something..."
"Look, whatever it is I did wrong I'll pay for it with my own money!"
"No, it's not that...although what did you do wrong? Oh never mind! It's about the guitar. We'll pay 50% of the cost; I've just got a raise at work. You save up the other 50%.
"That sounds fair, Dad. You gotta deal"
Yes! Just got to do a few more paper rounds and deliveries to get some money and away we go! Then I can put together a band and THEN I can make some serious moves on Judy!
After a hard morning at the hair salon, Edna returned home and had a mid-morning pick me up. She had more work today to promote the League of Decency and her political aims. A few weeks ago she had made considerable progress in getting her message of clean living, moral righteousness and the destruction of the permissive society to the public but the last fortnight had seen her hitting a barrier of sorts: A levelling out of support instead of making gains.
"George, sometimes I feel it's like we go two steps forwards and two steps back...do you know what I mean?"
"Like Madison Time?" replied George, who didn't quite grasp what she was saying. The Madison dance had a move called "two up, two down".
"No, not like the dance...I mean we're not progressing. The cause isn't." she said with a sigh.
"Well it's still early days, dear" said George, sympathetically. "You just need to hit the streets and impress on more people"
"You make it sound easy" she said, forlornly.
"Edna, you're the most determined woman I know" said George. "You let nothing get in your way"
"That's true...I kept pursuing you until I got my man!" she said with a wry smile. With that, she opened the front door of Sneedley Burrow and strode out into Bedrock Straight to spread the good word.
She didn't have to go far to find a prospective candidate to talk to. A woman of indeterminate age, who Edna thought could have been anywhere between mid-20s and 40, was walking right outside of the Burrow and she looked somewhat confused. She was wearing a mostly burgundy coloured outfit which made her stand out from everyone else who was around. Edna inspected her from head to toe...a redhead with prominent blue eyes (hair not styled but worn long and straight...tsk tsk), a dress in a nice colour and pattern but about a foot too short, thick stockings to match the colour of the dress (how garish) and matching shoes (far too much of one colour, another tsk). What made this woman stand out for Edna was that she was holding a large book.
"Good morning, madam" said Edna. "I couldn't help but notice that book you're reading, what is it?"
"Oh this?" the woman replied. "Just an anthology of poems. I'm a bit of a bookworm and on a beautiful day like this I like to read all kinds of poems to lift my mood." she said in a cheery voice.
"Ah, do you like the classics like Keats, Longfellow and erm....what's his name, Byron?"
"Yeah, those cats are great. I like Yeats, Donne and Ginsburg as well"
"Never heard of that last one" said Edna, dismissively. "But you seem like a well read and intelligent...ahem...woman; permit me to introduce myself. My name is Edna Sneedley from The League of Decency. Can you spare a few minutes of your time?"
"Yeah, sure, I'm free today" the woman replied.
"Eeeeexceeeeelleeeent" said Edna, who tended to extend the word 'excellent' when she was in her element. "The League of Decency wants to promote and encourage our...ahem...young people to read more instead of indulging themselves in frivolous and potentially harmful activities. So long as it's the right kind of reading material."
"Gee...what do you mean by 'the right kind of material', Mrs Sneedley?"
"Well, revolutionary material and subject matter which is far too explicit and salacious...and use of foul language"
"Oh I don't like books that are too descriptive" said the woman with a shake of her head. "I like to use my imagination as to what the author means....which is why I like poetry the best: I interpret the meaning, do you know what I mean?"
"I think so...but, yes, more left to the imagination is a good thing. I abhor over revealing material where the writer is clearly fascinated by dirty subjects..."
At that precise moment Alan Cuffe walked past the two ladies.
Edna turned her face away from him with an air of disgust but Cuffe said nothing. Instead he gave the other woman a quick look up and down but didn't react at all. Without breaking his stride or pausing Cuffe had moved on.
"As I was saying..." continued Edna when Cuffe was out of earshot.
"Was that?" asked the woman.
"Yes, and he's precisely the problem I'm talking about" replied Edna. "Anyway, think about what I'm saying here, here's a small pamphlet about who we are, what we do and what we stand for and can I count on your support?"
"Are you trying to put me in a bag, lady?" said the woman, tetchily. Her mood had suddenly changed.
"A bag? I don't understand" replied Edna, confused by the term.
"Yeah, like you want to contain me in a bag...telling me what to do, putting me away..."
"Well, I don't want to tell you what to do...more like giving you guidance and the correct steering"
"You're not my mom! Or my high school principal! Of my doctor!" said the woman, getting more annoyed.
Edna gulped nervously. "Well, you have the information...I must be going....goodbye and good luck with your poetry" she said, nodding towards the book that was still clutched tightly to the woman's hand.
Edna walked off, nonchalantly, and muttered to herself "Mutton dressed as lamb! She's at least 35! Not our sort, oh no, she's definitely not our sort"
Returning home to Sneedley Burrow she went indoors, poured herself a Gin and Tonic and went to see George.
"Did that go well, dear? I saw you talking with that young woman for quite a while" he said.
"She's not that young...too much make up and padding in the right places if you ask me." said Edna, taking a big sip of her drink. "She's not our sort, George, let's just leave it at that."
"So what now?" he asked.
"I said I'd drop some League of Decency material next door to the McGregors. Myra was asking to look at some of our pamphlets. Do you wish to come, George?"
"Don't mind if I do, actually. Get a chance to stretch my legs" he replied.
They met Myra as she was sweeping the front porch to her house.
"Good day, Myra, I trust you and your family are doing well?" said Edna, cheered up by her G&T.
"We are, thank you. We're just having a slightly lazy Sunday afternoon" replied Edna.
"I didn't see you at church this morning" enquired Edna.
"Oh...well...we slept in. Jamie's been hard studying and Colin had a restless night. We'll be there next week. Promise." replied Myra, defensively. "Erm, would you like to come inside for a coffee?" she said, as a way of pacifying the Sneedleys.
"That would be lovely" replied Edna. "Oh, and I've brought those pamphlets you said you'd be interested in looking at"
"Great" said Myra, flatly.
Myra went to the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee whilst Edna and George looked over the humble McGregor home. As they were doing so the son, Jamie, entered the lounge.
"Oh hi, Mr and Mrs Sneedley" he said.
"Hello Jamie, I hope all is well with you? How is school?" asked Edna.
"School, oh yeah, that's cool. I got a few B's this week so my grade curve is up." the boy replied.
"You must be pleased" replied Edna.
"Yeah...Is Mom making some coffee? Please sit down" said Jamie, remembering his manners.
"It's so important to focus on your grades instead of frivolous past times" said Edna, after sitting down.
"Did you get good grades at school, Mrs Sneedley, if you don't mind me asking?" said Jamie.
Edna paused for a moment before responding. "I got the grades I required to become a dental nurse...that was my job after leaving school and before settling down to marriage."
Myra brought out the coffees and soon she and Edna were discussing the neighbourhood and whether her and Colin had any plans to do some home improvements. That left Jamie with George.
"So, Jamie, have you considered a career in the armed forces?" said George. "I spent 10 years in the US Navy and they were some of the best years of my life."
"Gee, no, Mr Sneedley. I'm not sure what I want to do at the moment."
"You've got to have a career plan, young Jamie. I learned a trade in the Navy: catering. I can tell you it's no easy task preparing a meal for 400 crew whilst under attack from Japanese Kamikaze pilots." George said, shuddering at the memory.
"Actually catering is one of the careers I've thought about. Being a chef, you know...but, say, Mr Sneedley, when you were at high school what was the dating scene like?"
"Well, it was the very end of the Depression...we couldn't even afford to look at a girl at school, let alone ask her out." George replied.
When Edna and Myra re-joined the room talk soon became dominated by Edna and her opinions about society. Jamie, however, had a few questions of his own...
"Mrs Sneedley" he began "I was wondering....I mean, you're all against the permissive society but weren't people back in the War up to all kinds of things? I mean, wasn't there a baby boom AFTER it? Your generation must have been a little bit permissive?" he said with feigned innocence.
"Well....I mean...yes...there were a lot of babies born just after....when the husbands came home, of course. But we don't talk about such things!"
"I think we've taken up enough of the McGregor's time, George. Let's go home" said Edna, wriggling out of the spot Jamie had put her in.
George went straight home but Edna saw some litter in the street and picked it up, tutting at the carelessness of litterbugs. However, her civic policing was interrupted by the presence of Alan Cuffe, who was still jogging.
"Oh, Edna, didn't see you there" he said, slowing down before he accidentally collided with her.
"Just doing my civic duty and keeping the place neat and tidy" she replied, haughtily.
"Yes...well you'll get no argument from me there." he replied.
"If only everything could be kept neat..." she said.
"At the moment, I am focussing on keeping fit..." he said, dropping to the ground and doing push ups. "Keeping fit prevents the bugs from invading my system...got to keep those bugs out. Stop the invasion of my body..."
"Mr Cuffe, are you...alright?" she asked, puzzled by what he was saying.
Meanwhile George was settling down in the lounge of Sneedley Burrow to listen to some music and read a good book.
He had just sat down and got comfortable when there was a knock at the door.
"Ah, Edna's probably forgotten her keys" he said, getting up and walking over to open it. But it wasn't Edna, it was a red headed woman wearing a barely there burgundy dress.
"Oh, I'm looking for Mrs Sneedley" she said.
"She's my wife. She's not here at the moment but I'm expecting her back soon. Can I help? I'm George Sneedley."
"Maybe you can...you see, your wife told me about your League of Decency this morning and I reacted badly to it, but on reflection I'm curious. Can I talk to you about it?" she said.
"I....erm....certainly" said George, looking the lady up and down. He felt nervous about asking a younger woman into his home while his wife was absent.
The woman, who gave her name as Charlotte Sneed, strode purposely into the Burrow and looked the place over.
"This place is wild....I don't know, maybe I shouldn't be here after all..." she said.
"Oh don't leave just yet! Ask me anything about the League. We're in the business of improving society" said George, who was both shocked and entranced by this woman.
"OK, maybe I shouldn't be so nervous....hey, is that Baroque music you've got playing there? I love Baroque."
"Yes...it's something of an interest of mine" said George. "Helps to settle the mind I feel"
"Yeah...I think I need to settle mine..." she said, sitting on the couch right next to him. "I had some mushrooms this morning and I haven't come down from them."
"Oh...you had mushrooms? I think they're a much underrated ingredient. I'm a chef by trade." replied George.
"That's not the kind of mushrooms I meant...." said Charlotte. "Say, isn't it trippy that you're called Sneedley and I'm called Sneed?"
"Like your name is an unfinished version of mine! Ha-ha!" George laughed nervously.
Charlotte sat down right next to George, which made him nervous. The hem of her dress rode up so high her legs were right there for him to see. He gulped, this strange woman was sitting way too close to him and yet he had to admit to himself it was a very pretty dress.
"Tell me more about your little organisation" she said, with a soft husky tone to her voice.
George gulped again. "We...erm...we try to fight back....erm....I mean, suppress...." be began but at that moment Edna walked into the house.
"Oh" she said, seeing George sitting next to the strange youngish woman she met earlier on. "I didn't know we were expecting guests, George?"
"Oh, Edna, I believe you've met this lady..." said George, immediately springing to his feet.
"We certainly have" Edna replied, suspiciously. "So, what do we owe this visit?" she asked Charlotte.
"I'm curious about your organisation, I want to know more"
"I'm not sure we're your kind of people, Miss?"
"Sneed, Charlotte Sneed...I was just having a little joke with your husband about how similar our names are."
"Hmmm, just the names, though" said Edna, with a trace of acid.
"Maybe there's other things we have in common...like your ideas? I want to know more."
"Really? Well, shall we adjourn to my...I mean, our office? I can show you the kind of things we're working on." said Edna.
They crossed the hall to the study where, again, Charlotte inspected the room and cast judgement.
"This is one serious room" she said.
"Of course, serious business goes on here" replied Edna. "What is it that you're in search of, Miss Sneed? I sense direction, purpose, meaning."
"Yeah, all of those things" replied Charlotte. "I'm a kind of cosmic drifter going from one thing to the next. I feel drawn to you two...in a magnetic way...like polar opposites"
"Erm, polar opposites repel, not attract" interjected George.
"I'm not expressing myself very well" continued Charlotte. "But I'm tired of drifting around and am looking for more purpose."
"If that's what you want you have to want to take control over your life and make serious changes" said Edna. "For starters, I recommend young...well, youngish in your case...women smarten themselves up first. Lengthen your hemlines, get rid of the garish coloured hosiery and get a smart, sensible hairstyle that doesn't move."
"Oh...you don't approve of my outfit?" replied, Charlotte, surprised.
"I've seen worse, but smart appearance is core to our work" replied Edna. "Along with moral fortitude, pride in one's community and nation and weeding out undesirables."
"And a healthy diet" added George.
"Oh...man...I'm starting to come down from those mushrooms!" replied Charlotte. "I'm feeling hot and tensed up!"
"I'll get some Alka Seltzer" said George, getting up from his chair.
"No! I'll be OK...I need to come down, that's all...thanks for your time, I must be going..." Charlotte replied. "Nice house, once again" and with that the young woman strode out of the Sneedley residence with a haughty air about her.
"What a strange woman..." remarked George, after she left. "Maybe she had indigestion?"
"I don't think the mushrooms she was referring to are the same kind you and I eat." said Edna, narrowing her eyes as she watched Charlotte Sneed walk down the street. "No, you're quite right, George, a strange woman...not our sort at all."
"Anyway, I must get to work now, Dear" said George. "I hope you have a pleasant evening" he said, grabbing his chef's jacket.
After he'd left Edna made some fresh coffee...which she made Irish with a dash of whisky. She found people like Charlotte Sneed a drain to be around.
One coffee wasn't enough and Edna ended up drinking three over the course of the evening. This, however, made her feel worse for wear...As she stepped outside for some fresh air to sober up she pondered the crosses she had to bear in her day to day life, how hard the task of correcting society was and keeping it all together...thank goodness she had a loyal and dependable husband in George. He would never stray into strange territory...
"What a beautiful morning, Summer...You know, I don't take advantage of being in the garden enough and just next door I see the apple tree in full fruit." Said Liberty Lee as she took in the sights of the local neighbourhood.
"21...22...23...gasp...24...push harder, Sum, 25...." was Summer Holliday's reply. She was too engrossed in her exercising to take in the surroundings.
"I can see you're preoccupied. I think I'm done for now" said Liberty, who lacked the stamina and energy of her friend when it came to exercise. Liberty exercised because her job required it, Summer seemed to do it for fun.
"Aw, come on Libs...let's see if we can get to 50 sit ups!" said Summer, leaping to her feet and trying to encourage her housemate.
"Hello, what do I find here? Two groovy chicks in tight keep fit clothes? Can I watch?"
"Travis! You're incorrigible" said Liberty, turning around and seeing her housemate walking towards them.
"If that means he thinks with his....you know what...then you're right!" said Summer. "Travis, you could do with doing some exercise." she added.
"God gave me a finite number of heartbeats and I do not intend to waste them on exercise" he said, indignantly. "But by all means you continue, ladies, and I'll just sit here with my coffee"
"No sitting around for you yet, Travis, in case you've forgotten we have a party to get ready for. I'm done with the calisthenics, we need to get a move on with preparing everything." said Liberty, walking back towards the back door.
"Already sorted...I've got all the records lined up and ready to go. The speakers are set just right for total sound!" replied Travis.
"That's one task down, about 200 to go" said Liberty in a tone like that of a school teacher telling off a lazy student. "Have you swept up all that dirt on the floor of the living room?"
"Relax, our cleaner will sort that out" said Travis, taking another sip of coffee.
"It's Saturday, she doesn't work on a Saturday" said Liberty. Travis spat out his mouthful of beverage.
"What! Oh no! Erm...I'll get the vacuum cleaner!" he said, leaping to his feet.
Inside the house Liberty handed Travis a list of about a dozen chores that needed doing. She also insisted on telling him each and every one even though they were written down.
"First, vacuum up that dust in the lounge, then do the dishes, tidy your room especially all those technical manuals you leave lying around on your desk and the floor, after that just put all the books that are lying around the house back in the bookshelf, preferably in the spaces they occupied before..."
"And what do you want me to do with my other hand?" he replied, sarcastically.
"I shall be cleaning the bathroom in the meantime. Well, you've got your list...let's get cracking." said Liberty, walking off to the bathroom. Summer entered the house and walked up to Travis.
"Let's get cracking..." he said to Summer. "I bet she has a whip as well. Has our glorious leader given you a list like this?" he said, brandishing the piece of paper Liberty had given him to his girlfriend.
"Yes, I'm making food and drinks. And then I have to have a shower and get changed into more suitable clothes" Summer replied.
"I don't think you need bother about changing...I think you look amazing like that" he said, admiringly.
"We're having a party, not a keep fit class but bless you that you think I look amazing" she said, stroking his chin lovingly.
They found out that they had barely enough time to clean, cook, wash and get changed before the guests arrived.
"Who do you think will be the first to arrive? Place your bets now!" said Travis.
"Two bucks says Julia" said Summer.
"Nah, she's usually one of the last. My money's on Jeremy" replied Travis, confidently.
In the end they were both wrong...the first guest to arrive was Liberty's boyfriend, Gary.
Liberty not only won the bet, she rubbed her victory in by giving Gary a loving...and seductive...kiss.
Travis shrugged his shoulders and walked over to his beloved record player. He was in charge of spinning the discs..."total sound" as he called it. He decided that the first song played would be his new favourite record...displacing his previous favourite, Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys. The Beatles had been quiet for most of the year but now they had a new single and it was a belter! Travis chose it in honour of the special guest: Suzy. Maybe she wasn't exactly a Paperback Writer but she was a writer and that was all the excuse he needed.
Shortly after Gary's arrival Julia was the next party guest to show up. Summer was pleased she came runner up in the bet and made a fuss over making Julia feel welcome.
"So, how are you doing? You look great, I love that dress of yours. Are you still...well, you know, upset over your Doctor friend?" she said, sympathetically to Julia.
"I'm well, thank you. I acted all silly, that's all. No, work is great and life is good; I should be grateful" said Julia with a hint of triumph and defiance.
The other guests started arriving in quick order. First, Suzy's friend Burr and then Jeremy and Barbara. The latter also asked Julia how she was doing and showed her concern.
The guests of honour; Suzy and Neil, arrived followed by Action and a mutual friend of everyone's called Peyton...the kind of guy who lots of people know but no one can remember where they met him or whose friend he was originally. But there was one party guest people were struggling to identify.
Summer approached Suzy, who was having a great time dancing.
"Hey, great party Summer...you always throw a good one. Hmmm, I love this song; it's my new favourite. Hey, if you have house warming parties then is this a house cooling one?"
"That's funny, yeah I guess so...just one thing, Suzy...do you know who that girl is sitting over there on the sofa? The one with the black hair and wearing a red dress?"
"Which girl?" asked Suzy.
"THAT GIRL!" replied, Summer pointing to the woman in question.
"I've not seen her before" replied Suzy. "Maybe she's a friend or colleague of Neil?"
"Maybe...I hope she's not a gatecrasher...I mean, what if she steals something?" said Summer, nervously.
"I'll ask Neil...hang on..." said Suzy, going over to her husband. "Neil, darling, who's the girl in the red dress? I don't recognise her"
"I don't know...I thought she was a friend of yours" replied Neil.
"No she isn't...and she isn't a friend of Summer, Travis and Liberty either. No one seems to know who she is. Can you go and ask her?" said Suzy.
"Why me?"
"Because....she might be a crazy gatecrasher who might want to steal something"
"And you want me to challenge the crazy? Why not call Action over to help? He knows how to handle this kind of thing."
"I haven't seen him for a while...actually, where are most of the guys?" she said, looking around and noticing that most of the male guests were currently absent.
"I'm telling you the Orioles have the World Series in the bag!" said Peyton.
"You talk trash, dude, it's gonna be the Dodgers all the way" replied a taciturn Action.
"I'm with Action on this one...Sandy Koufax is having an amazing season" said Travis. At that point Jeremy entered Travis' study where most of the guys were congregated to talk baseball.
"Yo, Jeremy, who you supporting? The Dodgers or the Orioles?" asked Action.
"Gee whizz...I don't know. I'm neutral. I like supporting the Sim City Plumbobs." replied Jeremy.
"The Plumbobs!" cried out Travis, Action and Peyton simultaneously before they all shook their heads in despair.
Meanwhile back in the living room Neil and Suzy continued to figure out who the mystery guest was.
"OK, I'll need some back up...where's Burr?"
"In the bathroom" replied Suzy.
"Gary?"
"I haven't seen Gary either. I don't know where he and Liberty got to"
"Mwwwah....mmmmmmm....oh this is good....oh Liberty!"
"So it's just me to confront the crazy woman...that's just great. Wish me luck." said Neil.
He cautiously made his way over to the couch where she was sitting but suddenly she stood up and walked over to the bar. Neil found himself standing directly in her path and his first instinct was to step to one side to let her pass but he had a job to do and instead he stood his ground.
"Hello there...I don't believe we've met" he said to the mysterious gatecrasher.
"Hello there, I'm Anne...are you Mr Arnstein?" she replied, nervously.
"Mr Arnstein? No, who's Mr Arnstein?" said a puzzled Neil.
"Oh, he's a TV producer. Well then, do you know Mr Seligman? Is this his house? I thought he might live in a bigger place" she said with a nervous giggle at the end.
Neil looked at her, utterly bewildered by what she was saying but then he ventured a question. "Are you at the right party?" he asked.
"Isn't this the Hey, Wow! new talent event?" said Anne.
"No..." said Neil but then the penny dropped and he snapped his fingers when he realised. "...this is a private party for my wife and I and she works at Hey, Wow!...maybe you've heard of her? Suzy Humphries...well, she still writes under the name of Suzy Kent..."
"Oh my gosh, is Suzy Kent here?" said Anne, excitedly. "Geez, I'm such a klutz! I got the address mixed up and I've crashed your party! I'm sorry, I'll get my bag and go." Anne turned a shade of red similar to the colour of her dress. Neil felt sorry for her.
"It's probably a mix up at Suzy's work...they sent you the wrong details. So what's this new talent event?"
"Well, I'm an actress...actually I'm trying to become an actress. I did an advert where I was a singing tomato and the director of that recommended me to this producer called Mr Arnstein who said he liked that advert and would invite me to this thing Hey, Wow were sponsoring and....well....I was given this address by mistake." Anne's words came tumbling out of her mouth and she shook her head from side to side as she tried to recall the chain of events that led her to Foundry Cove instead.
Neil smiled and nodded. "Well, I can't introduce you to any fancy movie producers but I can introduce you to my wife, Suzy, and our friends."
Once everyone knew who Anne was and the confusion (caused by a secretary at Hey, Wow! who misunderstood an entry in Suzy's work desktop diary) was sorted she was accepted into group...who were all pretty much too into the party to mind or notice that someone had accidentally shown up.
The party had achieved a critical mass of its own, where people were free to do whatever they wanted and the host and hostesses could sit back and mingle. Gary impressed with his cocktail making moves.
Travis put the moves on Summer, much to the amusement of everyone who was watching.
And there was lots of dancing...
"Gary...please don't try to serenade me here! In front of everyone!"
"The trick is to add the lemon rind at the last moment, before pouring into the glass"
"Yeah, Jeremy's totally cool now....and he wants to help you, he really does"
"Things are getting hotter, and I don't mean like a BBQ! I need him cool, totally cool!"
"Peyton, this is Julia. Julia, meet my friend Peyton. I'm sure you two have plenty in common....uhm..."
"Aww, I was hoping Julia could get chatting to Peyton or Burr...it's too bad she can't find a nice guy!"
"Summer, I think Julia's happy being single...just play it cool and don't try to fix her."
"Did you see that commercial for toothpaste? I was in that...one of the satisfied customers"
"No I didn't"
"Oh, well, I was in an episode of the F.B.I. I played a woman who stumbles upon a dead body in a hotel."
"Was it a large part?"
"Well, I was only in one shot...I walk into a hotel bedroom and I let out a scream....then they cut to Efrem Zimbalist Jr arriving on the scene and I'm not in it after that. But did you see that episode?"
"No."
"Well, another swell party guys!" said Suzy to Summer, Travis and Liberty. "Thanks for everything...I think it's time to head off. So much to sort out with this house move!"
"Oh you guys are the best...and you know we're going to do it all over again when you move in to the new place" replied Summer.
"It's a deal!" replied Neil. The other guests all left soon afterwards but one person remained...Anne. She looked sheepishly at the trio of friends.
"Once again, sorry I crashed your party" she said.
"Oh don't worry about that...things are pretty hectic around here most of the time" said Travis.
"But thank you for making me feel welcome. You're a swell bunch of people: You and your friends"
"Well, hopefully you're now part of the gang. Keep in touch, Anne. Let us know when you're on TV again" said Summer.
