CHAPTER 99: Agenda

 

George Sneedley relished his breakfast in quiet harmony, the only sound to be heard was the soft strains of a favourite easy listening lounge radio station.

"Hmmm this breakfast is wonderful" said George to his wife, Edna.  "No foreign muck to take away the taste, just honest, fresh, plain food...yum"

"Thank you, George" said his wife.  "Now please don't forget to put on your glasses before you go to work...we know what happened last time and thank goodness the patron didn't want to press charges"

"Yes, dear" said George, meekly.

"I was thinking" said Edna, changing the subject.  "If you've not got anything booked in your diary and I know you haven't as I've checked, I was wondering if we could have a meeting of the League of Decency tonight after you get in from work?"

"I think that's a very good idea" said George.  "Now that there are four of us, we can plan an agenda for what we should do"

"An agenda; what a wonderful idea, George" she said, enthusiastically.  "And what should go on this agenda?  I suggest getting more members as a priority"

"I was thinking uniforms for our League" said George.

"Hmmm, that's a bit far down the road at this stage: We need members" said Edna, viewing George's idea with scepticism.

"A uniform will give us an image, a strong one as well if we design it right.  I've had ideas"

"Well, write them down and I'll add it to the agenda...which I shall type up today with a few other ideas of my own".  Edna said the words with self-satisfaction.  This was her metier:  Agendas, meetings, planning, leadership.

George decided to have a naughty snifter of Tang and Zing before he headed off to work.

Edna did her daily wifely duty of seeing her husband off to work, waving a handkerchief as he headed off.  She took a deep breath, excited by the idea that she was going to prepare......an agenda!

She went back indoors to the study, pulled out a ream of cream coloured typing paper and a steno-pad to make notes on.  Finally, she carefully arranged a row of pens, pencils, sharpeners and a rule in perfect order.  She was ready...

...until there was a knock at the door and she had to abandon her plans.  Looking out the window, she saw Geoffrey Landgraab had arrived for an unannounced visit.  The Lady of the House could not refuse such a distinguished visitor.

"Geoffrey, what a pleasant surprise" she said, beaming effusively.

"Edna...nice to see you.  I was just passing and was wondering if you were free for a discussion.  It shouldn't take up much of your time" he replied.

"Of course, Geoffrey...do come inside.  Would you like some coffee or other beverage?"

"Coffee's fine" he said.  There was something curt and deadly serious in his tone today, Edna guessed what he had to say was very serious.

"Edna, I'll come straight to the point:  Your League of Decency idea, I like it.  I like it a lot and I'd like to help you out...if I may"

Edna's heart skipped a beat but she remained outwardly composed.  After all, it was unseemly to display too much outward emotion.  "Any help from a distinguished pillar of the community such as yourself would be most welcome" she said.

"Further to our previous conversation..." continued Geoffrey "I'm interested in what you have planned for the League to do next"

"Well, we'll be discussing that very topic this evening among our members" said Edna.  "I would say shutting down the activities of Alan Cuffe is a high priority.  Making sure his publications are off the shelves at newsagents, stopping his public parties where his girls parade in next to nothing..."

"If I may interrupt you there, Edna, Alan Cuffe isn't where your focus should be right now."

"Oh?"

"Cuffe's magazine and clubs are designed for men.  It's the youth of today who are in crisis if you ask me.  Now I can exert some influence to curtail his business activities.  For example, I know he's planning on building a gentleman's nightclub.  I can raise local rents in the area, lean on city councillors to delay planning permission...that kind of thing.  But you need to focus on other, more pernicious publications"

"Yes, last time you mentioned 'Hey Wow' magazine.  I can't say I've read it" said Edna.

"It's everything you hate but it hides beneath the veneer of being a harmless teen magazine.  Look beyond the fashion articles and you'll find articles advocating drug taking, fornication as well as printing a bunch of lies" Geoffrey knew exactly what words and themes would trigger Edna.

"Oh my word!" she said in shock.  "How do they get away with it?"

"The First Amendment plus their clever wording that means they can advocate for all kinds of revolutionary and rebellious activities but they get away with it...as you put it...by claiming that was never their intention, it's just other people's misinterpretation.  Oh mark my words, Edna, 'Hey Wow' is nothing short of Communist subversive propaganda disguised as a fashion and music magazine for youth"

"Oh dear...let me refill your cup...you sound very distressed about this matter.  I hope you haven't fallen foul of their smears?" said Edna.

"Not me...I can handle bad press" he lied.  "It's my son, Malcolm.  Now I know the boy hasn't always trodden the path of the straight and narrow...I blame the bad crowd he used to be part of.  They see the name 'Landgraab' and exploited him terribly.  But he's moved on, shown a real interest in his studies of late and, well, he's expressed an interest in becoming more involved in the family business.  But those seditious hacks at 'Hey Wow' won't leave him alone:  They keep hounding him over his past."

Edna went to give Geoffrey a reassuring pat on the arm but pulled away at the last second:  She didn't like that kind of physical contact.  "You mentioned a name last time we met...Suzy Kent" she said.

"She is the worst of the lot.  Did you know she bribed one of Malcolm's ex-girlfriends...erm, I mean, Malcom's ONLY ex-girlfriend...to dish the dirt on him.  Well, that girl needs money for some expensive habits...if you know what I mean...so she told Kent a pack of lies and that hack didn't even bother to check whether it was true or not!"

"Geoffrey, I will bring this matter up at our meeting tonight.  In fact, I'll make sure it's the priority on our agenda"

"Thanks Edna, I knew I could count on you.  Anyway I must be getting on; things to do, people to meet, places to go..." said Geoffrey, getting up to leave.

Edna walked him out to the door, exchanging pleasantries and small talk.  Before he left, Geoffrey turned to her for one final message.  "Of course, if you help me out here I can make a generous donation to your cause.  A very generous one.  Think on that between now and when we next meet"

Geoffrey left and Edna returned to preparing the agenda for this evening's meeting.  Now she had a lead item...

"Did you have a good day, George?" said Edna, greeting him.

"It was very passable" he replied.  "And you?"

"Oh it was very good...and illuminating as well" she said.  "Our guests will be here soon, we must prepare for what promises to be a very interesting evening"

Dr Julia Epstein and local mailman, Scott Urban, soon showed up and the meeting began in earnest.

"Do make yourselves comfortable" said Edna, showing the visitors her lounge room with an elaborate flourish of her hand.  "I have taken the opportunity to prepare an agenda for this evening's meeting.  I shall be chairwoman, naturally, and with that shall we begin?"

Julia, George and Scott looked over the agenda plus at some edifying books on morality and the decline in Western civilisation that Edna had placed on the coffee table beforehand.

"Scott, I do like your suit.  I saw none other than Geoffrey Landgraab...THE Geoffrey Landgraab wearing something similar" said Edna, looking the younger man up and down.

"Thank you, Ma'am, I wanted to look smart for this meeting" he replied, humbly.  

Edna cleared her throat to grab everyone's attention.  "Now item 1 on the agenda is..." she began.

"Uniforms." interjected George.

"Well, that's actually item 2 on the list" corrected Edna.  "Item 1 is new members.  Now do we have any suggestions as to how to attract more people to our cause?"

"We should look for those who are disgruntled, upset and seething at the decline in morality in today's society" said George.

"I meet them all the time on my mail route" said Scott.

"Excellent" said Edna, making a note.  "Scott, may I put that down as a task I can hand over to you?" she said, making sure that the way she said it it was more like a demand than a request.

"Sure, no trouble" came Scott's calm reply.

"Item 2..." continued Edna

"Uniforms" said George.

"Yes.  What do we all think about having a society uniform?" said Edna to the group.

"Sure, I don't mind" said Scott.

"It might help our image" said Julia.

"So that's agreed....what kind?" asked Edna.  "I was thinking smart, noticeable and not showing much flesh.  That's important!  Now that kind of suit you and Geoffrey wear young Scott, that kind of thing would be ideal.  What colour scheme do we think?"

"Black" said George.

"That might appear a bit sinister" said Julia.  "How about black and another colour or two?"

"Black and red?" said Edna.  "Black, red with a bit of white?"

Julia winced.  "Those are the colours of the Nazis, Edna" she said.

"Of course.  Of course we can't go with that.  Any other ideas?"

"Blue" ventured Scott.  "Like in true blue, blue blood, red white and blue?"

"Another excellent idea from you, Scott" said Edna, approvingly.  "So a uniform, smart, not too much flesh in blue and black...and we'll task..."

"I volunteer" said George.

"Very well, George, that can be your task...and I will assist you, of course" said Edna.

"Looking at item 3 on our agenda..." said Edna.  "Activities.  We need to plan our next campaign"

"I've been looking into that" piped up Julia.  "I've noticed that the Kitten Club have been holding meetings and trying to drum up support at the Blue Velvet nightclub in Willo...."

"Thank you, Julia" interrupted Edna.  "That is useful information and we will deal with the Kitten Club in the near future but something has been brought to my attention that requires an immediate response"

Julia went quiet.  George asked "what is that?"

"There is a scurrilous publication freely available in shops aimed at young people called 'Hey, Wow'."

Julia's ears pricked at the mention of that name.  Her friend, Suzy, worked for that magazine.

"Hey, Wow is the kind of rag this community could well do without." continued Edna.  "Not only does it feature the ludicrous fashions that young people are seduced into wearing these days, it also promotes promiscuity and drug taking"

"Reefer madness!" said a shocked George.

"Indeed, George, reefer madness itself.  "There are rumours..." said Edna, pausing at that moment for effect.  "...that it might be a front for Communist subversion"

There were gasps in the room.  "Man, I hate Commies" said Scott, shaking his head.

"As do we all, Scott" said Edna.  "Now it appears that the most suspicious and yellow journalist at that magazine is a Suzy Kent."

Julia bristled at the mention of the name of her friend and neighbour but said nothing.

"She has been writing potentially scandalising articles designed to smear various upstanding citizens in our fair city.  She has to be stopped!"  Said Edna, pounding her fist into the palm of her other hand.

"However, we need to do some background checking into Miss Kent's work and what she gets up to.  Julia, you are particularly adept at research...could I task you to look into her?" again, Edna's requests sounded more like orders.

Julia gulped.  She didn't expect the League of Decency to be investigating her friend.  She thought they were going to go after Alan Cuffe and his soft porn empire but now....this was a curveball.  What to do?  She thought about it:  Edna was probably barking up the wrong tree about Suzy and the matter would peter out.  Maybe do this little request and then focus on bringing down Cuffe?  That's it, Julia thought, I'll fix my eyes on the prize.

"What do you say, Julia?" pressed Edna.

"Erm....yes.  I'll look into Suzy Kent" said Julia, aware that all eyes were on her.