"Dear Oasis Springs District Council. My name is Edna Sneedley and I represent the League of Decency, an organisation you've no doubt heard about. I am writing to complain about the shockingly..."
Edna broke off from typing to consider one word. "Shockingly"? That sounded a bit clunky for a letter of complaint. Maybe "extremely" or "worryingly"...worryingly sounded good; as if to sound a note of warning if things weren't dealt with promptly. Yes, and she must use the word "promptly" later on.
At that moment George entered the study. "Good morning, dear" he said.
"Good morning, George. I'm just writing a letter to our local council after what we saw down at Desert Bloom Park yesterday. It was very worrying."
"Indeed it was, Edna, you just don't expect that kind of thing to happen in a shared community space. It's the donkey I felt sorry for. Can I be of any assistance here?"
"Should I take a polite approach to writing to the council or a more hectoring tone?" she asked.
"In this circumstance I would adopt a tone of concern with a hint of admonition" replied George.
"You're so good with words, George. This is why I need you."
"How has your first week as an official politician gone?" asked George.
"Exhausting...it's so hard on my delicate feet, George. I'm out there on the streets canvassing people, letting them know about our cause and do you know it's like talking to brick walls sometimes? So many people these days are so disinterested in the kind of political issues they should be concerned about."
Edna recalled a nasty encounter the other day with a man on the street who fired a few colourful metaphors at Edna.
"Maybe you need an assistant, a personal escort to fend away those kind of ruffians" said George. "The next time you go out canvassing and I'll come with you"
"Would you George? That would be wonderful! And the next time I don't want to be walking in the hot sun for hours on end...it would be better to go to some cool, shady place indoors."
THE SOLAR FLARE LOUNGE, A FEW MINUTES LATER
"Did you hear? The Chinese have detonated another atomic bomb! Apparently their largest one yet...AND Cleveland have recorded their lowest temperature in history! Snow and ice in May! I'm telling you, are these two events connected? Eh? Eh?" said the old man at the bar. George and Edna had ordered their usuals and got chatting to the clientele.
"Well, the rise of China in recent years cannot be ignored. We saw what they did in Korea! My husband, George, was there. Weren't you, George?" said Edna
"I was. Terrible business." said George.
Edna and George engaged in conversation with the people at the bar until some of them drifted away, leaving the Sneedleys to have a quiet discussion.
"You see, George, this establishment is where we need to be at, not that low brow Rattlesnake Juice Bar. You get a better class of clientele here, more refined"
"More old people" said George.
"Precisely. People who have seen better times when standards of decency were both expected and adhered to. We need to canvas these folks, make them more amenable to our cause. Let's get another round of drinks in first."
"I do think that talking about the war seems to go over well with the more senior citizens here" said Edna. "Make a point of telling them that you served in two foreign wars"
"Well, my war record was pretty mundane. I didn't see much action, except for that one time in Korea when our depot was infiltrated by Chinese spies disguised as cook house workers." said George, shrugging his shoulders.
"The point is you were in the Navy for 14 years and served your country wherever it needed you." said Edna, trying to encourage him.
She worked her political charm on some of the other patrons; including a pair of friends who'd known each other for 20 years. One of them was staunchly conservative, his friend quite the opposite.
"I mean, look at the way you dress!" said the conservative man. "What are those slacks you're wearing?"
"I'll tell you what they are, they're comfortable, that's what they are!" replied his friend.
George, in the meantime, was trying to impress himself on other customers but with decidedly mixed results. He got into a conversation between a man who carried an air of both authority but with a hint of menace and an elderly woman who was on to her 4th drink. The man seemed familiar to George. Had he met him somewhere else before? He racked his brain trying to think of where they'd met.
I didn't catch your name, Mr?" asked George.
"Jacques Villareal." said the man, plainly.
Villareal? Villareal? George swore that name sounded familiar. "Have we met before, Mr Villareal?"
"I doubt it." Villareal replied.
"Hmm, it's just that I've heard that name somewhere before. Was it in the news?" George asked.
Villareal downed the rest of his drink and placed the glass firmly on the counter. "Yes. My wife went missing a few years ago" he said, eventually.
"Oh yes! I remember now!" said George, sounding relieved. "Weren't you a suspect for a while?" he asked, tactlessly.
Villareal turned slowly to face George. "Officially, I still am" he said, quietly, but menacingly. "I'll be sure to pay close attention to your League of Decency, Mr Sneedley. Very closely." and with that, Villareal left the bar.
"I can tell you're the strong, silent type" said the tipsy old lady sitting at the end of the bar.
"Who? Me?" replied George.
"I reckon behind those glasses are the eyes of a passionate man, a man who knows what he wants and where to find it. A man not afraid to defy social convention..." she said, batting her eyelashes at him.
"I NEVER defy convention, madam. And I'm a married man! Begone, and bother me no more!" he said, sternly.
"Trouble, dear?" asked Edna when she returned to the bar.
"Not any more" said George, shuffling a seat further down to put more space between him and the drunk old lady.
"I think you're much better at canvassing than I am" said George. "You should approach people and I can back you up or add some detail"
"I see some younger people are arriving now...maybe we should change our approach?" Pondered Edna.
"Hmm, that might be difficult" said George. "We're pretty much against everything young people like these days"
"Then we must model good and proper behaviour...be an inspiration"
They knew they had their work cut out for them when the first man under the age of 40 they spoke to asked "hey, where are the women at?". It turned out he had only one thing on his mind and that was not something Edna considered to be appropriate conversational material.
At that moment the barman stepped away from serving drinks and walked over to the microphone in the corner. He switched it on, tapped it a couple of times to see if it was working and cleared his throat.
"Ladies and gentlemen; The Solar Flare Lounge is pleased to present the teenage violin sensation...Miss Eliza Dudley. Please give her a warm round of applause."
There was a ripple of applause in the club; Edna and George looked on in interest. "Now this could be edifying" she said.
A young woman in her late teens with flame red hair and wide, heavily made up eyes walked out to the performance area of the lounge. She was wearing a long, black sparkly evening gown and carrying a violin. She nodded shyly to the audience, put the violin under her chin and began to play.
George looked at his watch "Time for work, dear, good luck with the rest of your day. I hope you convince more people" he said before trudging off to the hotel restaurant where he worked.
Edna purchased another drink from the bar and considered what to do next. The music here was fine but she felt she'd tapped out the clientele for voter support so with the evening just beginning she pondered where to go next.
"Excuse me, barman...is there anything going on in the city that you could recommend? Somewhere not horrid and seedy but more cultured and wholesome?" she asked.
The barman stroked his chin and hummed in thought. "I think the Spice Festival is taking place in San Myshuno tonight. Let me check the diary." He reached down under the bar and pulled out a large black book. Flipping over some pages he came to today's date. "Yeah, Spice Festival...that's near the Waterside Warble bar. Do you want me to write this down for you?"
"Yes please, that's very kind" said Edna, smiling enthusiastically at him. Downtown San Myshuno was what was known as a 'target rich environment'.
THE SPICE FESTIVAL, 7:20pm
The square outside of the Waterside Warble was filling up with lively people, some dressed in exotic Asian costumes, others had donned shorts and t-shirts as it was a warm, balmy late Spring evening. Edna looked overdressed in comparison but she wasn't concerned; after all setting a good image was her metier. She noticed the gaudily painted pavement art, the paper lanterns and Asian inspired decorations. One banner reminded her of a wooden painted piece of art George brought back from Japan in 1953. There was a sign over a table which read "Take the Taste Test Challenge" and there, laid out on the table were various pots and bowls of food which she didn't recognise at all. She approached the man running the stall.
"Good Evening, Madam" he said. "Would you take the Taste Test Challenge? We have a variety of delicious foods from all the continents of the world right here. Each bowl contains something twice as spicy as the previous one. Sample all 12 and you win a prize of dinner for two at Chez Llama."
"I don't recognise any of these dishes" said Edna. "So this thing, this event runs every so often I hear?"
"Yes Ma'am" the man replied. "It's one of the most popular festivals in the city. Would you like to try the Penne All Arrabiatta from Italy?"
"Yes...that sounds nice, I'll just put my drink down there and try some..." she said grabbing a bowl and a spoon. She took a small spoonful and gingerly put it to her lips before taking a tiny bite.
"Hmmm, there's a certain amount of picante to the sauce...mostly pleasant...now may I have a few words with you about law and order in this part of town? How bad is the crime around here?"
"Please, lady, why not try this dish now. It's from Africa and it's called Suya...it's a kind of kebab cooked in traditional spices." said the man, offering up a plate. Edna took a sip of her drink and then went to sample the dish.
"Hmmm, the aroma is....interesting....the taste is....OH MY! OH MY! PUT IT OUT! PUT THE FIRE OUT! DRINK! DRINK! WHERE'S MY DRINK? I NEED MORE DRINK! ARRRRGHHH, IT BURNS!"
