CHAPTER 146: Judgement Call

Increasingly John Action found that he was restless in the mornings and found himself wanting to get out of the house as soon as possible.  At the crack of dawn he had grabbed his gym kit and headed off to Oasis Springs to work out, have a shower and then partake of breakfast at the Rattlesnake Bar.  He didn't know why he was this restless but this disturbed sleep and lifestyle pattern had begun after he had lost his memory.  The upside was that the Rattlesnake did some of the best, damn fine coffee in the city.

After a couple of cups of steaming Joe, Action headed off to 13th Precinct headquarters to begin his shift.  All week the department had been investigating the break in at the Huntington house and now they were on the verge of a breakthrough in the case.  They were fortunate that multiple witnesses had come forward but the fingerprint samples didn't match anyone on the criminal files...they were either dealing with someone for whom this was a first offence, or else a master criminal who'd never been caught.  It was almost certain the suspect was a woman, as most men had their fingerprints on record from being drafted into the armed forces at some point.

At the precinct house, Action went over the file of evidence they already had to make certain of all the clues and information they had.  Most witnesses claimed to have seen a woman enter the house, alone.  Action figured she had to have been strong to remove those appliances so maybe someone with an athletic build or physically well trained.  

 "So you're going with a lone wolf suspect, not a gang, Action?" asked Action's deputy, Cole Michaels.

"It looks that way...you've got to follow the evidence" Action replied.

"I thought you were a gut instinct kind of guy?"

"I am, and I'm never wrong about them but in this case there's a conflict between what seems logical and what can be proven and this time it looks like this woman lifted that TV, that stereo set and all those other items single handed.  Find me evidence there was another person with her at that time and I'll change my mind"

"Well, if we find her then maybe she'll confess to who her partners were"

"Maybe, Cole, maybe..."

Officer Marina Beckett entered the squad room.  "Detective Action, there's a lady out the front who wants to speak with you...she asked for you specifically.  She didn't give a name, though, but said you know her" she said.

"One of your entries in your little black book, Action?" joked Cole.

"You can only dream of having a little black book like mine, Cole" replied Action as he headed out front to see who wanted to see him.

Action's heart sank when he saw who it was in the lobby:  Candy Behr...aspiring pop star, model and tease.  She blew hotter and colder with him more times than Goldilocks with a bowl of porridge.  Action wondered which Candy was wanting to speak with him today:  The hot one or cold one?

"Oh Action, thanks for coming to see me" she said, huskily and with a note of relief in her voice.

"Is this a police matter you want to talk with me about?" he replied, flatly.

"Well yes, but it's nice to see you as well...are you doing OK?" 

"Let's stick to the matter at hand; what the problem is?"

"So I'm getting the professional cop today, am I?" said Candy, disappointed.

"Who else were you expecting?" replied Action.

"I just thought, you know..."

"That because we once shared a moment together before you bailed on me entitles you to special police treatment or even friendship?  You thought wrong, sister."

"You're still mad about that?  I'm sorry, I panicked..."

"I'm not mad, but I'm wary of a pretty face who's trying to get something from me.  Now, what's been going down which requires our help?"

"Next door's been having these wild parties and there's some unsavoury types hanging around, you know?"

"I get the picture.  Look, I'm on a case right now and I'm backed up with it but I'll hand you over to my colleague, Officer Beckett here, and she'll send a patrol over to check out the scene with your neighbours.  OK?"

"OK...and, Action, you've still got my number, haven't you?" said Candy, batting her long eyelashes at him.

Yeah, I've still got your number...tucked away. He thought as he walked away.  He returned to the squad room to find Cole on the telephone and writing things down on a pad frantically.

"Action; we've got a witness who says they've seen someone resembling the suspect down at Brindleton Bay...they say this character's been trying to sell some electronic goods from the docks down there"

"Sounds promising...OK, let's put out an APB and get some boots on the ground" said Action, determinedly.  "Cole, you take your team down to the dockside area...Sergeant Kitchen will cover the area around the Salty Paws Saloon and I'll cover Club Calico.  OK, have we got a detailed description?"

"Only that she's wearing shorts, a blouse and is kind of dark..." said Cole, reading the witness statement.

"What do you mean, dark?  What?  Dark skin, dark hair, dark clothing?  Gimme more"

"I can't, Action.  That's all we've got..."

"Great...did you lot sleep through the class on how to take a witness statement.  Anyway, no time to talk...let's go!"

 

No sooner had Action arrived at the Club Calico than he saw someone who fitted the description of the suspect.  A woman in brown shorts, a grey-brown blouse and with dark hair and a Mediterranean complexion.  Was she the perp?  Action thought she could be but she was slight and curvaceous on a slim frame and Action wandered if she could have lifted those large electrical goods on her own.  She was also very attractive with a sexy figure but Action had to fight back his attraction in order to remain cool and rational.

Up close she just confirmed Action's initial impression that she was very attractive with form fitting clothes that left little to the imagination.  But her arms were very thin without a muscle on them:  Not fit for picking up heavy objects and moving them into a van.  Still, she was the closest thing to a suspect so far.

"Excuse me, Ma'am...Detective John Action, Sim City PD.  I'd like to ask you a few questions"

The woman looked him up and down "Ask away, detective" she said in a sultry voice.

"I'll start with asking for your name" said Action, cooly.

"Carly Navarette"

"Hmmm, nice name.  Now, can you tell me your whereabouts on Wednesday the 24th of this Month between 2 and 4pm?"

"I can...I was up at Granite Falls for the day."

"Can anyone attest to you being there?"

"Sadly...no.  I went on my own to spend a bit of time alone, gather my thoughts and enjoy nature."

"I can understand that, but it would help if someone could verify that...can I ask you what you do for a living?"

"I work as a reflexologist"

Action looked up from his notebook and looked confused.  "A what?"

"A reflexologist.  I help people feel well by massaging feet using various aromatic oils."

"A masseuse then?"

"NOT like that, Detective.  My, what a dirty mind you have" she said, coyly.  "I work at the Perfect Balance Spa"

"Oh, I see"  He thought that place was a bunch of hippy crap but he didn't say so out loud.  This chick didn't seem like the type to burgle houses...but he had her name, her place of work, he added her address and telephone number to his notebook and made a note to keep an eye on her while she was around this part of town...but his instinct told him this wasn't the suspect.

If not Miss Navarette, then who?  Action cased the club, looking for someone...anyone...who also fit the bill.  He'd noticed a middle aged woman hanging around the place but she was neither dark nor wearing shorts.  But something else caught his eye...one of those unusual things a lot of people would pass by but to Action's trained sense of trouble it was like an alarm bell going off in his mind.

In the Club Calico's swimming pool was the same middle aged lady he'd seen before but in the pool with her was another woman...who was fully clothed and talking to the older woman.  One in a bathing suit, one in her street clothes and both talking while treading water.  Now this needed more investigation...

"Excuse me, ma'am...if I can have a word with you...outside the pool" he said.  She noticed the police badge on his belt and nodded solemnly.  She swam to the edge of the pool in a few powerful strokes, hauled herself out in one move and stood before Action.

"Nice swim?  Have you tried it with a bathing costume on?" asked Action, sarcastically.

"Oh I can explain, officer...you see I was talking with that lady over there; she was swimming and I was leaning over and...well...I fell in."

"I see.  May I ask what the topic of conversation was?"

"Erm...business" said the woman.

"Buying and selling by any chance?" asked Action.  "Or more like selling goods that are in your possession?"

"It's not like that, officer..." the woman replied, defensively.

"How about I ask our swimming friend what your line of business is?" 

"No need!" the woman said, suddenly.  "OK, yes, I do sell goods"

"I'm going to have to see your place of work to check it out..." said Action, and as he looked around the place he noticed a large van parked in the loading bay of the club, a van that matched the description of the one involved in the Huntingdon robbery.

"Or how about I check out your van over there?  That is your van...isn't it?" he said, knowing he'd set a trap for this woman...who was dark skinned, wearing a blouse and shorts and who had a well built upper body judging by the way she easily hauled herself out of the swimming pool.

Soon Cole Michaels and some uniformed officers showed up and the woman handed over her vehicle keys grudgingly.  In the back of the van was a refrigerator, a TV and a state of the art stereo set.  The only thing left to do now was read her the Miranda Rights...

The woman's name was Aya Chafik and she had no priors.  She was taken back to the station and booked on suspicion of robbery and it was left to Action to interrogate her.  

He led her to the stark, uninviting interrogation room and pointed to one of the metal framed chairs.  "Sit down" he said.  She meekly obliged whilst he slapped his files on the table and sat down opposite her.  Looking up at her, he could see fear in her eyes.

"First time being under arrest?" he said.  Aya nodded.  "Well, we've got a pretty solid case against you here:  Stolen goods in the back of a van you've rented and that lady in the pool you were talking to said you were trying to sell them to her.  Am I correct so far?"

Again, Aya nodded.

"I'll take that as a yes then" responded Action.  "So why d'you do it?  You're not a career criminal...why?"

"I desperately needed some money...I've got debts, big debts and there was J. bragging about all this expensive stuff he'd just bought..."

"So you know Mr Huntingdon?"

"Yeah, I'm a barmaid over at the Kitten Club and J...Mr Huntingdon...is a regular there.  That's where I heard of all his expensive stuff and, well, I thought his insurance would cover the costs and I could get a quick sell of all that brand new equipment."

Action wrote this all down and then put his pen firmly down on the table.  "Well, a smart lawyer and a soft judge will probably get you a reduced sentence IF you plead guilty." he said.

"Detective; what tipped you off that it was me?" she asked.

"I look for the things that don't figure straight...a fully dressed woman who accidentally falls into a swimming pool doesn't just start talking business with someone she doesn't know.  You were so desperate to sell those goods before we could catch up with you that you'd throw caution to the wind, forget about any embarrassment and conduct the deal there and then.  Detective work is about noticing the things that don't seem right and then using cool judgement to figure out what's wrong.  That's the Action way..."

The shift ended and Action went home, glad to have closed that case.  It was time to put some space between work and personal life.  He had some dinner and was about to watch some TV when there was a knock at the door.  He could see through the window that it was Barbara from next door and she looked upset.

"Babs, what's the matter?" he asked.

"It's Jeremy, Action...can we talk for a bit?" she said.  Action could see sadness all across her face.

"Sure we can" he replied, sympathetically.  "Where is he now?"

"He's working late.  He's been doing a lot of that lately"

"Is he still acting weird?"

"Yes.  That's what's worrying me.  He still freaks out whenever Suzy's name is mentioned, always repeats this same phrase whenever Geoffrey Landgraab is talked about and I found this in our study..."

Barbara held up a photo of Action.  There were small holes dotted around the picture.  "He puts this on a dartboard and throws darts at it."

Action raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"But that's not the worst thing..." she continued.

"It isn't?"

"He has a framed photo of Nancy Landgraab in our bedroom and refers to her as 'mother'"

"That is some mixed up stuff, Babs" said Action.  "You know what I think?  I reckon they've messed with his mind.  I heard a lot of stories from old Marine buddies of mine about how the Commies brainwashed captured soldiers back in Korea and Vietnam and maybe the Landgraabs are using the same techniques on us."

"Us?"

"Yeah, I had my mind scrambled not so long ago...they took all my memories of this one case.  The woman who tried to kill my work colleague and who I apparently chased down the road right there.  I think the Landgraabs are up to something big and they can mess with people's brains.  But don't worry, Babs, I'll get to the bottom of this.  Jeremy and you are my friends and I am the man who would risk his neck for his fellow man."

Action comforted Barbara, who was close to tears by this time.

"I'm gonna need your help, Babs." he continued.  "I need to know a few things about how Jez has been behaving of late.  Can you help me?"

She nodded.  Action led her to the dining area where they sat down to discuss this in more detail.

"OK, when did his behaviour start to change?" Action asked.

"The day he got the job at Landgraab's...no, wait!  It started to change the day he went in for his final interview with them."

"What did he say about that?"

"Nothing much...except he didn't want to talk about that day at all.  He said he went in, did this test..."

"Test?"

"Yes.  They called it an aptitude test.  He had to go in for that but he never told me what it was about or what happened even though I asked him."

Action thought about that and stroked his chin.  Then he looked at Barbara and asked "Did he refuse to tell you what happened or couldn't he remember?"

Barbara took a moment to recall when she spoke to Jeremy about that day.  "He said he couldn't remember"

Action slapped the table with the palm of his hand.  "That's it!  They've erased the memory of that day like they did with me!  OK, Babs, this is what I want you to do...can you be brave, 'cos what I'm about to ask of you might scare you?"

"I'm scared already, Action" she replied, solemnly.

"I want you to get as much information out of Jeremy as possible.  Try to stir up any memory from that day.  Even if he resists or tries to brush you off, keep going...you all your feminine wiles to get him to remember any detail from that day; no matter how trivial.  Then write it down in a notebook or diary or something BUT keep it hidden from him.  You write down anything he can recall or anything about his work he mentions to you and you give that book to me so I can study it.  You dig?"

"I dig...and then what?" 

"The answers to our questions lie in the Landgraab Corporation building but I need some clues where to look.  That's why that information is crucial.  But you can't tell him what you're up to otherwise he might tell 'mother'."

Barbara nodded.  She stood up and said "He'll be home soon but thank you, Action.  I knew I could count on you."

She gave him a big hug of appreciation before she left but Action was already thinking about how to find out what those bastards, the Landgraabs, had done to his friend...and to him.

CHAPTER 145: Where The Girls Are

 

"Milton was a woman, discuss" I absolutely hate those questions!  I mean, is this important?  Can I get to the moon knowing whether John Milton was a man or a woman?  I hate homework like this!  

Now there's a knock at my door!  Who is it this time, mom or dad?

It's mom.

"Hello Jamie, I just came to see if you're OK as you didn't have any dessert with dinner"

"I'm OK, Mom, I've just got a ton of homework to get through"

She looked around the room.  "I don't know how you can get much study done in this light!  It's murky!"

"I like it; it's atmospheric"

"If you say so...so how's homework going?"

I show her the essay question.

"Oh...." she said in a mixture of surprise and trepidation.  "well, an unusual question but I don't think your teacher wants you to answer that directly.  This is more like a test of your skill at making a convincing argument.  So, to begin with, work out what you think is the answer and then figure out ways of backing that up."

Now it kind of all made sense...I invited Mom to stay so I could use her as a sounding board for my ideas.  I was going to ace this project!

"You know, Mom, this is really working...OK, I'm going to argue the case that Milton WASN'T a woman, here's my reasoning why, and my conclusion."

"You see what you can do if you think a little laterally" she said and then she did this annoying thing of touching my forehead to indicate thinking.  She's done that with me ever since first grade.

"Well, I've aced this homework so I'm going to relax a bit now" 

"What are you going to do?"

"I thought I'd go for a bike ride..." I want to go where the chicks are, but I won't tell her that.  "Maybe head over to the park..." Where the girls are  "and hang out with friends" preferably of the female variety.

"Well, be careful out there on your bike...and don't stay out too late either; it's a school day tomorrow"

I grab a few supplies from the fridge to keep me going while I'm down at the park, get my bike and head off for....who knows what?  But it's got to be better than John/Jane Milton.

Desert Bloom Park was fast becoming known as the hang out for high schoolers in this area.  The main reason is the snug area near the BBQ pits.  It had a small library, open fires, comfortable sofas, a bar and a built in radio which played all the popular pop/rock stations.  It was also somewhere to play my guitar...now that really impresses the chicks, or at least it should do.

I was wondering who else would be there tonight.  I'd met Yuki Behr down there, once, and although I like her she's dating that Marcus Mueller these days.  I've seen other cute girls off from afar but, not only that, I have friends who like hanging out there as well so there's every chance one of them will be present this evening.

Yep, I have a good feeling about tonight!

Right, first things first, get to the snug and start playing those sweet tunes.  I've learned a few new licks and songs which I'll try out on the lay-dieeeesss...

"Is someone strangling a cat in here?" 

I look around to see who said that and, would you know it, it's Marcus Mueller.  Typical.  I can't stand this guy.  And he's brought a friend it seems.  Let's see if he's as big a jerk as Marcus.

"I dunno, Marcus, I kind of like it" 

OK, this dude has gone up one notch in my estimation.  

"See, Marcus, this guy's got taste.  Hi, I'm Jamie"

"Rohan...so, are you in a band?"

"Not at the moment" Not at all...maybe I should put one together?  "I'm kind of a singer-songwriter type..."

"So you write music as well?" Rohan looked wide eyed in amazement at that announcement.

"If you can call it music..." 

Shut up and just leave, Marcus!

"So is this a band rehearsal in here or can anyone join in?"

I turn around to see who said that...Oh my gosh!  It's Gillian Hills!

Now on top of my ranking list of most gorgeous girls in Buckingham High is, of course, Judy Keith.  But only one notch below her is Gillian Hills.  She's head of the Fashion Club, does modelling as a part-time job and is always up to date on the latest fads, trends and scenes.  I've never even spoken to her before and yet she's right here, 3 feet away from me...the closest I've ever been to a goddess like her.

"Gillian, great to see you; you look amazing"  said Marcus, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek.  She went all coy and patted him on his arm.  Of course he of all people would know her.

"Marcus, how sweet of you to say that"

"And to answer your question, it's just this guy and his guitar...I must apologise for his playing but he's very much a beginner with the instrument."

"Marcus is just jealous that he can't play" There, that's my marker put down.

"You're not bad...not bad at all" said Gillian, looking me up and down.  Did she mean my musical abilities or something else?

"I can play a bit of piano!" chimed in Rohan, a little desperately.  There was an awkward silence.

"Well, Gillian, I'd love to stay and catch up but I'm meeting Yuki for a date" Marcus said, smugly.

"Oh, you're still dating her?" Did I detect a hint of disapproval in Gillian's voice?

"Well, it's just casual...you know how it is" replied Marcus, his smugness disappearing.  Anyway, he said his goodbyes and left me, and Rohan, alone with Gillian Hills!  I go dry:  What do I say to someone like her?

"Hello, I'm Jamie"

"Of course you are.  My name is Gillian but you can call me Gilly"

"I'm Rohan!"

She ignored him.  I sat down on one of the sofas in the hope that she would sit next to me but she remained standing.

"So...Gilly...are you into music?"

"Yeah, I like all the latest bands and sounds.  You?"

I try to sound cool.  "Yeah, I like the British invasion bands mostly..."

She raises an eyebrow in surprise.  It's going well Jamie, my son...

"You do?  So do I...who's your favourite?

"I'm really into The Beatles"

"Oh...I prefer the Rolling Stones" Dang it!  Did she have to sound so disappointed though?

"I like Dusty Springfield!" Rohan reminded us he was still here.

"You know, we should start a band!" Rohan continued in his enthusiastic way.  "I mainly play piano but I've tried a Hammond Organ and there's this church I know where there's a piano and a room to rehearse in!"

"Well, I'd love to talk about this some more but I have a busy social calendar right now so I will leave you budding Lennon and McCartney's to it..."

No!  Gillian!  Gilly!  We've only just met!  Your mere proximity to me will boost my social standing immensely!  I'll write you a ballad in tribute!

"Jamie, don't you like my idea?"

"No, it's a decent enough idea...it's just...don't you know who that was?  That's Gillian Hills!"

Rohan shrugged.  

"She goes to my school and she's like...a model and hot and only one of the most desirable chicks in Sim City! And she left...."

"Oh don't worry about that, Jamie.  When we start our band the chicks will come flocking to us!  But we need to practice, rehearse, find a singer, drummer and bass player...then book some gigs..."

"Slow down, Skippy!" 

"Sorry, I get carried away sometimes"

"Don't sweat it...but I like your overall idea.  We'll get together soon and have a jam"

Rohan and I step out of the snug to see who else is around and I swear tonight in Desert Bloom Park it's a target rich environment.  As well as Gillian, there's loads of cute girls around.  Sadly, not Judy Keith but still...

Rohan stops dead in the doorway.  "Where did they come from?"

"Who cares, Rohan, they're here now.  So...shall we mingle with them?  Go over and say hello or something?"

"Yeah...something.  Well, we can tell them about our new band as a conversation starter"

"That's better than the starter I had planned"

"Which is?"

"Nothing at all.  Let's go with your suggestion"

Rohan approached one group of girls but just as he got close to them, he panicked and turned around.

"I...I...couldn't go through with it, Jamie!"

"Why?  What's the matter?"

"Well, one of them...I think she's French by the sounds of her...was going through her diary commenting on all the guys at Buckingham High and how she ranks them....we didn't even get a mention!"

Ouch!  

"OK, time to think of a plan B..."  I consider our options to get ourselves noticed in a good way then I remember I have some foodstuff I'd brought along to share with friends.  Well, Rohan is my new friend and I was willing to make some other friends who were hot chicks.  I fire up one of the BBQs and get cooking.  Barbecuing is about the only kind of cooking I know and even then I just light a fire, slap on some meat and let the heat do the work.  The grill smell is wafting all over the park by now and it smells good...

This willowy redhead is walking over in my direction...I look behind me, expecting some big, hulking jock or some smarmy rich kid like Marcus Mueller to be standing right behind and who would be the person she's walking towards.  However, there wasn't anyone standing behind me.  OK then, she's going to the snug.  She looks very striking with the shortest shorts I've ever seen on a girl, a top that clings to her body like a second skin and these amazing red suede boots.  Before she walks past me and out of my life forever I can drink in her beauty for just a few seconds.

"Hello...you might just be a life saver!"  She spoke!  Was she talking to me?  I look around.  "I take it you're the chef?"

"Oh...me?  Yes.  Yes I am although I'm hardly a chef...more like your friendly neighbourhood BBQ guy"

"Could I be outrageous and ask for some?  I'm starving!  My own fault really for not having something earlier"

"You can be outrageous" I said, handing her a plate.

She took a bite of the hamburger I gave her and I swear I've never seen anyone chew on one as seductively as this girl.

"Hmmmm, and who do I have to thank for this?"

"Oh, that would be me:  Jamie McGregor"

"I'm Morgan, Morgan Fyres" she said, holding out her hand for me to shake.  I took it and it felt so soft and smooth.  

"Groovy name, I dig it...erm, would you like to sit down with me for a while and hang out?  I mean, if you've got nothing else to do or....someone else you're meeting"

"I've got no one to meet so, sure"

This is going so well!  How come I've never seen this girl before?  Maybe she goes to a private school but, she doesn't seem the type.

"So are you at high school?  I'm sure I've seen you from afar there"  That's me fishing.

"Yeah, Buckingham High...you?"

"The same"

"Funny how we've never met before.  Is this a usual hang out for you?"

"Yeah, we must just keep missing each other"

She looked straight into my eyes and I was captivated by hers:  The brightest green eyes I'd ever seen perfectly framed by thick. black eyeliner.  She pushed the plate of food to one side and made a kind of bridge with her elbows and hands on the table.  She rested her chin on her hands and fixed me with an enticing gaze again.

"So, is cooking your thing?" 

"One of them:  I play guitar as well"

"Ooh, a man of many talents!  I like the sound of you, Jamie McGregor"

"What about you?  What are you into?"

"ALL kinds of things!" her eyes widened as she said that.  I could well imagine this redhead with legs that went on forever and who isn't backward at coming forwards would be kind of fun, kind of wild and kind of unpredictable...this wasn't your average girl next door!

"Sounds interesting..."

"I am...if I may be so immodest"

"You certainly can"

This was the most flirtatious conversation I've ever had but I was kind of swept along with it...that's what it was like around Morgan:  She led, I followed.  I was just lucky she decided to approach me in the first place.  The place was getting dark and a quick look at my watch told me it was past 10pm.  I suspected she wasn't the kind who paid much attention to time, and I didn't want this moment to end but then there's the deal I struck with Mom to be home not too late...dang it, why couldn't I have met Morgan on a Friday or Saturday night?

"So, I guess I will see you at school tomorrow?" she said.  

"Yeah, I'll keep a look out for you"

"And thanks for the food...I'll make it up to you"

"My pleasure"

"The pleasure was all mine" And with that she gently stroked my hand. I could have thrown caution to the wind and stayed with her but I played it safe, packed up my gear and went to get my bike.  I turned to look at her one more time and she smiled, warmly this time.  I don't know if I'll see her tomorrow, or the next day or the days after that or whether the magic of what happened this evening will ever be replicated but now I know there was one time, and one girl, who looked favourably at me...and what a girl that was!

CHAPTER 144: Voldarke

 

"I am Voldarke The Inquisitor, bow before me and quake in fear!"

"George Sneedley, is that you?" said Suzy Kent:  She was handcuffed and flanked by two burly guards who were wearing black robes like George's...Voldarke's... and carried halberds.  Suzy stood before George who had his study at Sneedley Burrow converted into a makeshift courtroom.

"Silence!  I do not recognise the name George Sneedley of Sneedley Burrow, Bedrock Strait, Oasis Springs...address me only as Voldarke!"

"What's going on?  Why am I here?" said Suzy.

"Ye be found guilty of wearing a miniskirt in a place of worship!  Ye be drenched in sin...SIN!  Voldarke hereby sentences you to dress as a Puritan, complete with the hat!"

"NO!" Yelled Suzy in shock and horror.  All of a sudden, Suzy had gone from wearing her trademark black and white minidress, black tights and white go-go boots to wearing a long black 17th Century Puritan dress with white lace cuffs and collar, which covered her shoulders, a white apron and the conical black hat with the huge buckle on the front of it.  All her make up had been removed as well.

"Oh no!  I look so plain!  Please, have mercy on me, Voldarke!" she wept.

"Voldarke knows not of mercy...now ye will learn traditional crafts as befitting a spinster of this parish!  Ye will sew, ye will thatch and ye will.....bake bread!"

"What?"

"BAKE!"  And with that a lump of dough suddenly appeared in Suzy's hands.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" asked Suzy.

"You will knead the dough....KNEEEEEEAAAAAD IT!" barked Voldarke

Suzy began to knead the dough with her hands and she burst out crying.  Voldarke smiled, sinisterly and laughed.

"BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA!  That's it, wench, knead the dough...knead...the...dough...use more flour if you find it sticking to the surface"

"George!  GEORGE!  Wake up...we've got lots of things do to today!" came Edna Sneedley's voice.  

"Wha?.....Urgh....Voldarke.....Oh....what a lovely dream.  Yes, I'm coming dear.  On my way....hmmmm 'knead the dough'..." said George as he awoke.

Edna was in the kitchen, having a little pick-me-up after her breakfast.  Yes, there was a lot to do today and she needed all the energy she could muster.

"George, so lovely of you to join us" she said, with a thin smile.

"It was a very long, late shift at the hotel last night...I needed a little more sleep." he muttered in reply.

"Well, you're with us now...let me just put these dishes away and we shall reconvene in the study." she said.

Edna strode into the study and made straight for the chair behind the desk.  George dutifully followed and sat down in the cosy chair.

"Now, I have already typed up the minutes of today's meeting and the agenda...just putting the finishing touches to it...I am very, excited isn't the right word as I find it to be a little vulgar, let's say 'enlivened' at the prospect of today's League of Decency meeting" she said.

"As am I, dear" George replied.  "I must say I am very exci...I mean, enthusiastic at the prospect of what we're going to do today.  We will strike back at the permissive society with force!  Led by you, Edna Sneedley and me, Vol...erm...I mean, George Sneedley."

"That's the spirit, George.  Now we will have a full compliment of members today so let's fire up the troops to action!" said Edna, triumphantly.  "But right after I finish these minutes I would like to canvass the opinions of our neighbours...see if we can encourage others to join our crusade"

"Not Zest, surely!" said George.

"Oh no, not him.  He's completely the wrong sort of person.  No, I mean our new neighbours.  I like Myra, Colin seems an upstanding sort....I'm not sure about the son, though:  He's the kind of impressionable young man who could slide into depravity if there's not enough force applied to him to walk the straight and narrow path."

George and Edna went to visit their neighbours, the McGregors, to spread their Gospel.  Outside their house they saw the mother, Myra, taking out the trash.

"Myra, how lovely to see you...you are looking radiant" said Edna.

"Thank you, Edna...and hello George" replied Myra.  George nodded in response.

"Are you and Colin both at home today, perchance?" said Edna.

"No, it's just me and Jamie.  He has a half day off from school so he's helping me around the house" replied Myra.

"Such a thoughtful young man" said Edna, smiling.

"Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?" enquired Myra.

"Oh, most kind, most kind.  I wouldn't want to put you out"

"No trouble at all."

"Then George and I would like that very much" said Edna, smiling.  She had her captive audience now.

George seemed distracted by the quality of the house build.  "Hmm, interesting use of adobe here and the door frames seem solid enough."

"Oh, I wouldn't know about that...that's more Colin's area of expertise" Myra replied.

Edna made her way to the living room and sat down on the long sofa next to Jamie.  "Hello young James; your mother was telling me how much of a help you've been around the house"

"Oh, thank you Mrs Sneedley.  I do what I can" he said with a cheerful shrug.

"Yes, it seems a solid enough construction..." said George.  "I've not been inside here before."

"Did you never visit here when Alan Cuffe was living here?" asked Myra.

"Certainly not!"  Snapped Edna before she composed herself once again.  "What I mean to say is that we've always desired this neighbourhood to be more family oriented...attracting people like yourselves."

"That's a noble suggestion" said Myra.  "I noticed the other houses on our street are unoccupied...I haven't met Johnny Zest yet but Jamie has, haven't you?"

"Yeah, he seems a nice guy" said Jamie.

"We don't have much to do with Mr Zest, if that is indeed his real name.  He mixes in quite different social circles to myself and George." said Edna, with a note of disdain in her voice.

"He was very helpful to me when....well, erm, it was a...uhm....math homework problem" said Jamie, not wanting Mrs Sneedley, or his mom for that matter, to know Johnny had given him dating advice.

Edna raised an eyebrow in surprise.  The four of them chatted some more before Edna announced that she and George had an urgent appointment to get to.

That appointment was a meeting of the League of Decency and it was to be a very special gathering this day.  First, Edna and George returned home to get changed into their uniforms.  George took delight in watching Edna change into hers, the sweater and skirt flattering her still trim figure, but he was also envious...he would have to order the female version for himself one of these days.  Then, the two of them laid out copies of todays agenda, some snacks and drinks for hospitality and the equipment they would need for today's impending event.

It was a full turnout of members:  George, Edna, Scott Urban, Vance Mannero and Julia Epstein.  Everyone had come fully attired in League colours and there was an atmosphere of anticipation and excitement.

"Ladies and Gentlemen" said Edna, handing out copies of the agenda to everyone.  "Today marks our first foray into the public sphere.  It is finally the time to turn all our good conversations and ideas into action and what an action it will be!  For today we will strike at the number one corruptor of young minds in our fair city!"

"You mean..." said Scott.

"Yes!  The offices of Hey, Wow! magazine!" declared Edna, boldly.

There was an audible gasp from everyone in in the room.  "Yes!  It's time to kick ass!" said Vance.

Julia gulped.  Hey, Wow! was where her friend Suzy worked.  Again, her loyalty to her friend and her sense of disgust at the permissive society tore at her inside.  But this protest was about values and not about personalities and Julia disliked Hey, Wow!

"So what's the plan, Mrs Sneedley?" said Scott.

"Please, Scott, call me Edna" she said, reassuringly patting him on the knee.  "The plan is we assemble outside of the offices of the magazine, George and Julia will lead the protests and chants, I will engage with the wider public and our two burly men here..." she said, indicating Scott and Vance "...will run 'defence'; that is, stop counter-protestors and any rabble that would try to stop us".

"I'll get the station wagon fired up" said George.  

"George will drive, I will navigate, Scott, Julia and Vance in the back." declared Edna and with that the League leapt into action with purpose, vigour and resolve...

"STOP THE FILTH!  STOP THE FILTH!" chanted Julia, as loud as she could.  A hippy walked past her and looked at her sign.

"Yeah, babe, we gotta stop the filth, the cops and all the pigs" he said.

"No, no, no, that's not what I meant!  I mean actual filth, you know...smut" replied Julia.

The hippy looked at her as if she were an alien "that's weird!" he said as he walked off.

"STOP THE SMUT!  STOP THE SMUT!" chanted Julia, this time.

"DOWN WITH MINISKIRTS!" chanted George.  A couple of Hey, Wow! employees...both young women wearing miniskirts themselves...looked at George with his sign and giggled at him.  One made the sign of a square with her fingers and they both walked into the building.

Edna wasn't so much chanting, more like giving a speech.  She had a megaphone and had it at full volume, deafening passers-by with it.

"GOOD CITIZENS OF SIM CITY...HEY, WOW IS A CORRUPTING INFLUENCE ON THE MORALS OF OUR YOUNG PEOPLE.  WITH ITS SALACIOUS AND DISGUSTING CONTENT, IT PROMOTES LOOSE MORALS, PROMISCUITY AND SKIMPY CLOTHING!"

"Does it really?" said a man passing by "I must get me a copy! PHWOAR!" he said in a lecherous voice before running off.

The chants, the rants and appeals to morality didn't register with the people who walked by.  No one stopped to listen and the protest seemed to either be met with eye rolling disbelief from the public or cool indifference.  Vance and Scott returned to meet up with Edna and the others.

"Well, did you encounter any opposition?" asked Edna.

"None at all" said Vance, shaking his head.  "Not one stinking hippy, long hair or freak."

"Well that is disappointing!" huffed Edna.  "I don't know...we've tried but our blows aren't landing today"

"I've got my next shift to get to, Edna" said Scott.  

"Yes, I have a meeting I have to get to as well.  It's been an interesting and informative exercise though." said Julia.

"Alright then, meeting adjourned" sighed Edna.  The signs were put away, the megaphone stowed and everyone got back into George's 1963 Ford Galaxie Country Sedan to make their way home to Oasis Springs.  The mood inside the car was sombre all the way back to Sneedley Burrow, where everyone said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.

"Well, George, that was very humiliating, very!" said Edna, visibly upset by this afternoon's experience.

"We had everything planned" sighed George.

"We'll have to have a full inquest and investigation into what went wrong" said Edna.

"Inquest?  That reminds me of something...hmmm...anyway, maybe it's the youth of today being so far gone..." 

"No, George!  I won't give up on our precious youth!  But there's got to be a way to get through to them, we just haven't found it yet...oh, I have a sick headache; I must lie down...then I can begin the inquisition" 

"Oh, I've remembered that thing!  I have to go into work to bake some bread rolls...strange how an inquiry reminded me of bread baking...anyway, must go dear...stay firm"

As soon as he left, Edna found the Aspirin wasn't working so instead of a lie down she headed straight for the Solar Flare lounge.

"Hello, Mrs Sneedley...your usual?" said the bartender.

"Make it a double" she replied.

A couple of hours later and Edna was in her cups and complaining about all that was wrong in the world to anyone within earshot.

"...and the worst part is....the worst part..." she said, heavily slurring her words, "...is the indifference.  No one cares...no one cares at all anymore...another double gin and tonic, bartender!"

"Mrs Sneedley, I think you've had enough" replied the barkeep.

"I will tell you when I've had enough!  I am the paying customer and I'm always right!  That's in the...in the...in one of the amendments of our constitution I'll have you know.  I forget which one...anyway, I want another drink young man....or woman...it's hard to tell and that's another thing that's wrong with the world today:  You can't tell a man from a woman or vice versa...all that long hair the men have...pretty soon they'll be wearing dresses and where will we be?  Exactly!  That's where!  Now get a haircut and a job...although you have a job so get a haircut, but only if you're a boy...for a girl...that's optional....get it styled.  I will now briefly retire to the bathroom and when I return I expect a double gin and tonic right there" she said, jabbing her finger on the counter in front of her.

She tried to maintain an air of dignity and poise as she weaved her way around the tables and chairs of the lounge, only bumping into one standard lamp along the way.  The rest of the staff and clientele could see she was drunk and knew what was probably going to happen in the bathroom...

"You're alright, Edna...you're fine, you're in control...." she said to herself but deep inside her body was protesting.  As soon as the words left her lips, closely following behind was a jet of vomit.

The scene was....unpleasant.  Fortunately for the Solar Flare club, most ended up in the toilet and that which didn't ended up on her clothes.  Edna went pale, tried to brush the mess off her blouse, and then staggered back out into the club.

"Are you OK, Mrs Sneedley?" asked the bartender.

"I might....need...a...taxi...home..." she stammered.  The other patrons looked on with a mixture of shock and disgust at her appearance.  The bartender went to fetch a phone but Edna suddenly stumbled and fell to her knees.  A patron, a big, burly man with a luxurious beard and wearing a pink blazer, stepped in to help her up.

"I also need a shower" said Edna, meekly.  The man, and others standing near her, recoiled at the stench that emanated from her.

"Indeed you do madam" said the burly man.  

"There's nothing here of that sort" said the barman.  "The gymnasium next door has though"

"Ah...what a bit of good fortune.  I am a member there!  I even have my own locker..." said Edna, trying to sound a note of triumph.

"I will help you to reach there, Madam...before you reach again..." said the burly man.

"Oh most kind, Mr?"

"Madsen.  Nikolai Madsen, at your service....uuurrruuggghhh" he said, bristling at the sick smell.

Madsen helped Edna walk the few steps to the next door gym but it was not the kind of escorting of a lady he liked...more, this was a duty:  Part chivalry, part that he wanted the staff at the Solar Flare to forget about his ever increasing bar tab.

The fresh air outside sobered Edna up a little and she headed straight for the showers.  As she came more to her senses, her sadness at the protest's failure was mixed with another emotion:  Shame.  She had humiliated herself in the Solar Flare now; everyone right now will be talking about her drunken behaviour.  OK, she thought to herself, I had one too many...I was sad, I was upset, I drank a little too much but reputation is everything in this town and she had lost some of her good name back there.  She swore never to get drunk in public ever again. 

After her shower and a chance to freshen up, she went to her own personal locker and found a clean tracksuit she could wear.  Then she decided to sweat the booze out of her...a training run was required.  She'd show them all!  Edna Sneedley would not be held back by a couple of setbacks!