"In local news, police are still following up on the arson attack on the home of local businessman and publisher Alan Cuffe. The condition of the off-duty policewoman injured in the fire is said to be stable and doctors are saying she should make a full recovery." George Sneedley watched the television news intently: This story was of great interest to him.
"Well if you ask me the wrong person got hurt in that fire" said his wife, Edna, in a supercilious manner. "It should have been Cuffe himself" she added.
"I'd be cautious about speaking like that" said George.
"Why shouldn't I say that? It's a free country...it's not like we caused the fire" she said.
"The police don't know that. They haven't named a suspect yet and I have a sinking feeling it'll only be a matter of time before they decide we are people of interest in this matter" said George, solemnly.
Edna bristled at this idea. "Us? But we're upstanding members of the community with no hint of a criminal record!"
"But we're open opponents of Alan Cuffe, Edna. What if he's named us as likely suspects to the police. I'm afraid we're going to have to prepare for that knock on the door"
Edna stood up and paced around the room. She grabbed a plate of food from the dining room table and took a bite...this was her way of helping her concentrate whilst coming up with a plan. "What if?...." she said without finishing the sentence.
"What are you thinking?" asked George.
"Do you know the name of the lead detective on this case?" she asked.
"Yes, I wrote it down on a notepad...let's see..." he said, picking up a pad from the table. "...Ah, his name is Detective John Action".
"We need to get to him before he gets to us" said Edna. "What if we...voluntarily...make a statement to him giving him our alibis and reasons why it couldn't possibly be us. We go out of our way to be co-operative. That way we are, visibly, off the police radar without any dent to our respectability"
"I like the way you think, dear" replied George.
The way Edna Sneedley thought came as a surprise to John Action, however. Two seemingly random people showing up at his house to volunteer information about the case he was working on wasn't how he liked to do things...it was too close to his personal space for one thing.
"We're Edna and George Sneedley...concerned citizens and heads of The League of Decency" was their introduction to the hard boiled detective.
"And why are you here at my home?" replied a cautious Action.
"It's about this arson case you're charged with investigating" said George. "Can we come inside and discuss some pertinent facts with you?"
Action grunted his assent and showed them inside.
"No doubt you will have heard of us and our organisation" said Edna, with a hint of pride in her voice.
"They have cropped up in one conversation so far" said Action, flatly.
"And I assume if you had spoken with Mr Cuffe and his associates then they would be firmly pointing the finger of suspicion at us" she continued.
"When I asked Cuffe about who might have wanted to do him harm he did suggest you...but you weren't the only ones" Action replied.
"Well, naturally, Mr Cuffe and I...I mean, we..." she said, indicating George "do not get along nor see eye to eye on the issues of today but we would never do anything like commit arson or any other crime to remove him"
"Never" added George.
"But you still want him removed?" said Action, who was still suspicious about why the Sneedleys were here telling him all this.
"Only in a strictly legal manner" said Edna.
"Strictly" added George.
"We...by which I mean our organisation, operate through raising public awareness of Mr Cuffe's nefarious activities, by lobbying local government and by putting pressure on retailers to stop stocking his vile magazine"
"Very vile" added George. "Furthermore we both have alibis. Edna and I were at a friend's place playing cards the day of the attack. His name is Ken Pepper with two Ps and he had other friends who'll attest we were with them at that time. I've taken the liberty of already writing down his name, phone number and address" and with that George handed Action a piece of paper.
Action took it, thinking this was all very organised and convenient. "That's very helpful of you" he said, calmly. "But what of other people in your organisation? Would one of them be capable of carrying out the attack? How many are in your League?"
"Four" said Edna. "George and my good self, DOCTOR Julia Epstein..." she said, putting emphasis on the title 'Doctor'.
"I know Dr Epstein" said Action, flatly.
"...and Mr Scott Urban who is a postman, pillar of the community and former Army veteran"
"So he'd have experience with explosives?" said Action, trying to unsettle Edna's false air of superiority.
"Oh no! Mr Urban is just not the sort of person who would do that!" she said in protest.
"Thank you for the names; I'll check them out" but Action wasn't interested in Julia, who he knew was not capable of such an act...he didn't mention it to the Sneedleys but his prime suspect was still this mystery woman who he had a detailed description of but no name attached. Still, this pair of busybodies could be kept on their toes for now...
"So you have nothing but our support, Detective. As you can see we have nothing to hide" declared Edna.
"I'll check these alibis out, thanks for the list" said Action with a tone of finality. The Sneedleys took the hint to leave.
Outside of Action's house, George turned to Edna and said "I think that went well. Headed off his suspicions at the pass"
"I'm not so sure..." replied Edna. "He doesn't radiate competence. I mean, did you see the décor in his lounge? Ugh, such an ugly pattern, low lighting...how can he think with such a hectic wall pattern? No, he's quite unsuitable for that level of responsibility and I'm thinking of writing a letter of constructive criticism to the Police Commissioner"
"Edna, let's not bring more unwelcome police attention to us" said George, taking her gently by the arm and leading her away.
Willow Creek was on the far side of the city from where they lived and were only barely familiar with it. "After all that I need a drink" said Edna.
George checked his watch "the sun is over the yardarm as we used to say in the Navy. I think there's a bar nearby we can go to and talk about what we should do next with this case"
They eventually found the Blue Velvet bar in downtown Willow Creek. It was a place George had once been to some years ago but it was by far a regular haunt unlike his familiar watering hole, the Rattlesnake Juice Bar. It wasn't crowded when they arrived and he ordered a couple of glasses of red wine...Edna's favourite tipple. They found a table to sit at, far apart from the barflies, so they could talk in more depth.
Edna sipped the wine, shut her eyes and let out a sigh of contentment. It helped clear her mind and calm her after that encounter with John Action.
"Although I'm far from happy having a man like Detective Action investigating this case, I will defer to your judgement and not proceed with having him removed from it. As long as he doesn't cast false aspersions on us."
"I think we've successfully blocked any serious investigation of us, Edna. We have airtight alibis"
"Yes, but what about Julia and Scott?"
"The attack happened in the morning and they're both shift workers who do the bulk of their work at that time. Relax, Edna, have another drink and let's move on to what the League's next move should be."
Edna drank some more wine and looked around the bar: It was starting to fill up as the day wore on. She cast a beady eye over the clientele to see the cut of their jibs...it was mostly young men and women aged between 20-40, professional looking types and not too many wild, Bohemian types. More importantly, Edna thought, no one was behaving in a boorish or loud manner. However, there was one person in the establishment, standing over near the open fireplace, who did meet with Edna's disapproval.
"Oh I don't believe it, George, but look who the cat dragged in" she said, nodding towards the fireplace.
"Is that Suzy Kent?" he said, peering over his glasses.
"The very same. I cannot move about this city without either Alan Cuffe or Suzy Kent showing up. Ugh, what is she even wearing...no, don't look, George: We don't want you to get one of your turns."
Edna, fortified by a couple of wines, decided she really needed a confrontation to make her day complete. She stood up and staggered to where Suzy was standing but, uncertain on her feet, she sat down at a nearby table to have it out with a young woman she considered to be a bad influence on the youth of today.
For her part, Suzy noticed Edna's approach. She let out a weary sigh. "Oh what does that old ratbag want now?" she muttered to herself.
"That is. The most hideous outfit. I have seen on any woman" said Edna. "Could you be revealing any more flesh? I mean, pink stockings? Really? You dress like a child."
"You're drunk, Edna, George should take you home to dry out" replied Suzy, indignantly.
"Come on George, let's not spend one single moment more in this den of vice and debauchery!"
"I'm a cop, ma'am. I work out of the 13th Precinct and I can tell you I've seen some shocking things out there" said Vance.
