"Tsch, shocking! Disgraceful! Scandalous!" George Sneedley tutted to himself as he looked on at the mannequins in JF&S Clothiers; a haute boutique for the well dressed and well off. He was on an early morning walk through Magnolia Promenade as that was his way of getting exercise without having to run or lift things.
The fashions of the day appalled him with their revealing neck and hemlines. Grown women were now dressing like naughty schoolgirls and this led to a generation of long haired, randy young men chasing them. The wedding dress he was looking at was particularly in bad taste...too snug fitting around the shoulders and bosom and way, way too far above the knee. He thought of his own wedding to Edna and how wonderful she had looked in her grandmother's bridal gown...ah, the Edwardian era, thought George: How more elegant were things then? Of course, they had to rush their own wedding arrangements because it was 1950 and he was just about to be shipped off to Korea and the war.
George left the boutique and headed home where Edna was already up and watching the news. It was about another war, Vietnam, where the story was that USAF planes had clashed with North Vietnamese jets for the very first time since the American involvement in the conflict began.
"I didn't know the North Vietnamese had jet fighters" said Edna to George.
"They'll have got them from the Chinese or Soviets, dear" he replied. "Same with back in my day...the North Koreans relied on the Chinese"
"Anyway...how did you walk go this morning?" she asked.
"Mostly fine" he replied. "It's a nice day, the waterfront was pleasant and I think I spotted a heron at one point. However, what is being sold in the shops under the description 'fashion' is shocking"
"I know...I know...you can really see standards dropping over the last year. This is what happens when there are no longer decent female role models for young women to look up to...they've traded in Jackie for something called 'Twiggy'. Oh if only we could have our delightful former first lady back as the inspiration for the younger generation."
"I quite agree, Edna, Mrs Kennedy and....Marilyn Monroe" he said, wistfully.
"Well, I never quite got the appeal of Marilyn Monroe myself" said Edna, knowing that Marilyn was George's pin-up idol when he was in the Navy. "But a Grace Kelly...or Princess Grace to give her the correct title...there was a lady!"
"Ooh, yes" said George enthusiastically.
Edna stood up all of a sudden. "I have an idea!" she exclaimed. "I propose that you and I go and visit one of these so-called 'fashion boutiques' and investigate how they are corrupting womanhood!"
"When shall we do this?" asked George.
"Now!"
The two of them travelled to Magnolia Promenade where they found all the different fashion boutiques. The place was getting a reputation of being "The Carnaby Street of Sim City" and was a fertile ground for the Sneedley's moral indignation. One particular establishment caught their attention: It was converted from a much older building but had big, newly installed glass windows, neon signs and bold colours decorating it. It was called "Pack's Clothing" and it seemed like it was purposely built to annoy them.
"It looks positively garish!" said Edna "and what's the appalling smell coming from it?"
"If my culinary senses do not deceive me" said George "I believe it's a combination of incense, peppermint and....I think that's thyme"
"Anyway...let us gird ourselves and carry out our task. George, no looking at anything too racy; we don't want you to have one of your turns"
Edna and George took deep breaths and entered the shop....and they didn't like what they saw right from the off. For starters, there was discordant music playing over a speaker which made Edna wince.
"Tsch, most unsuitable!" said Edna looking at a couple of mannequins. Even their poses offended her...no grace or poise, just blatant provocativeness and lewd playfulness.
She moved on to view a poster of a man with shaggy, unkempt hair, playing a guitar with a tortured look on his face. The caption read "JEFF BECK".
"Ugh, just the sort of young man my mother warned me about!" she said.
George came and sat down next to her. "I had to sit down and take a rest...it's so horrible in here! The men's section is just as bad...medallions and strange patterns" he said.
"Well that's one thing I'll give this establishment" said Edna. "At least there's plenty of places to sit"
"Excuse me, Madam, Sir...can I be of assistance?" said a young shop assistant. He struck the Sneedleys as somewhat odd looking: He was a black man with very dark skin and yet had a mop of golden blonde hair.
"No thank you" said Edna curtly as she stared at the man's hair.
"Ah you've noticed my hair" said the shop assistant. "New in stock: Deluxe Merseybeat wigs. Ideal for young men who want to look like The Beatles but whose hair is too curly, short or straggly to have cut into the classic Beatle cut. Also great for the older gentleman who's hairline is receding and might want the extra coverage" he said, looking at George's head.
"Made from realistic nylon, they come in 20 different shades: This one is called Golden Dawn" continued the man.
"No thank you" replied Edna. "Although that is probably the least objectionable thing I have seen in here so far"
The man went off to help another customer and Edna took a moment to survey the scene. "George" she said, an idea formulating in her head "I think we should conduct some interviews with some of the customers; find out what they think"
"I agree; we should make ourselves seem more official...say we're doing important market research" George replied.
"Agreed...I will speak with that lady in the blue over there...George that young woman in the turquoise; you should have a word with her"
Edna walked over to a young lady who was dressed all in dark blue. She was checking out a short dress in a peppermint colour when Edna introduced herself.
"Hello...My name is Mrs Edna Sneedley and I am conducting some market research on behalf of an important organisation whose name I am not at liberty to mention. May I ask you a few questions about your preferences in ladies fashion?"
"How nice...I see you have opted for the shorter hemline: Is that something that appeals to you?"
"Yeah, it's fab! It's kicky!" said Bianca.
"Hmmm, 'kicky', I'm afraid I'm not well versed in the slang of the youth of today. But don't you feel that your shorter hemlines will attract the attention of the wrong sort of man?"
"I'm not against attracting the attention of a man...providing he's cute" said Bianca. "But it's about freedom, confidence and the Pill"
"THE PILL!" exclaimed Edna, shocked. If there was anything she hated more than mini skirts, it was the Pill. "Young lady, you should be ashamed of yourself!"
At that Bianca became very indignant. Meanwhile, George was trying a slightly different approach.
"Excuse me, Miss" he said to a willowy auburn haired young woman who wore a turquoise mini dress. "I am conducting a survey on fashion and the younger generation. Do you prefer the long or the shorter skirt?"
"Well, man, it's all good, right?" she replied. "Long, short as long as it's with it I'm cool with all that. My favourite clothes are my flared jeans, baby"
George didn't catch on with the slang but proceeded to enquire more. "And are you wearing stockings today or....tights?" he said, wincing at the T word.
"These? These are tights, man. I've given up on all the constricting underwear that mom and grandma wore: I got rid of garters, corsets, girdles and I've read the bra is a symbol of the past so I might end up throwing that in the trash can or burning it"
"Oh...dear..." said George, who acted as if he had walked into a minefield.
"Yeah man, I mean, why do we need clothes anyway? Underwear, who cares? Some days I don't bother at all with them. You've got to feel free, baby, unconstricted and let it all hang out. Have you tried spending the day in the nude? Wow, that's like being at one with nature! Mister, are you alright? Mister?"
George had gone pale and was clutching his heart. "I...need...fresh air..." he gasped.
"Hey, lady, is this guy bothering you?" said a young, male customer who had seen what was going on.
"I don't know, man" replied the hippy girl. "This guy was asking about what I was wearing..."
"Oh I see..." said the man in a threatening tone and rolling up his sleeves. "I've dealt with perverts like him before!"
"GASP!" cried George and Edna turned to see him down on his knees having a panic attack.
"George! Oh no! Make way! Make way! I'm his wife...clear the area, he's having one of his turns!" Edna helped George back to his feet and led him out of the shop.
They went straight home from Magnolia Promenade where George had a drink, some air and time to calm down. "Oh Edna...that young woman you sent me to speak with: She turned out to be a nudist! I wasn't prepared, I just wasn't prepared!" he said.
"No, that was my fault...I should have been more aware of the type of customer we were dealing with. My one wasn't much better; a loose woman on the pill, shall we say?"
"Well I appreciate you coming to my assistance" said George.
"My wifely duty, George. After all, you've always been there in my hour of need" replied Edna, warmly.
The two felt drawn to each other at that moment. Not a word passed their lips but they sat on the couch, looking lovingly in each others' eyes. Slowly, ever slowly, they inched towards one another until those lips were touching and then they gently held each other as they embraced and kissed.
It wasn't just a peck either, they kissed over and over; lovingly and tenderly. The years together rolled back and they were like they were when they were first courting. Finally, their lips parted.
"That's enough of that" said Edna.
"Yes, I must get to work now. A most pleasant experience, thank you" replied George.
He went off to the restaurant and Edna craved a drink, so she headed off to the Rattlesnake Juice Bar. Not her favourite haunt, but a place George often stopped at on his way back from work.
"Your usual, Mrs Sneedley?" asked the barman.
"Yes thank you, David. That's lovely. David...do you ever get worried about the permissive society?" she asked.
"Only that it's passing me by" replied the barman.
Edna drank the crisp dry white wine and thought about what to make of what her and George found this morning. Was it that young women were to blame or the people who tell them what they should wear, listen to and do with their lives? So much to ponder.
"You know what I don't like about today's society, Mrs Sneedley"
"What's that, David?"
"Modern art. I just don't get it: Blobs, lines, splatter, wham...I mean, what's it all about? Nothing, I tell you, nothing."
Edna thought about that...yes, modern art: Another symptom of society in decay. She finished her second drink and put the glass down on the bar, loudly.
"David...is the gallery down the road still open at this time?" she asked.
"Should be" the barman replied.
Edna settled her tab and headed off to the Futures Past museum, keen to find fault there.
The modern art section was on the 2nd floor so she wasted no time being distracted by the classical sculptures and Mediaeval works of art and headed straight there. Upon arrival she spotted an abstract painting that immediately triggered her sensibilities.
"No, I don't get this at all" she said out loud. "Are those meant to be hills? Did the artist just spill paint by mistake?"
"I think you'll find that the shapes are held in proportion to each other...the painting holds the rounded sections and the lines in tension, juxtaposing the very shapes themselves" came a voice from next to her. Turning to see who had spoken, she saw that it was none other than her nemesis: Alan Cuffe.
"Oh no, trust you to like this, Mr Cuffe" she said.
"I appreciate art and beauty in all its forms" he said.
"Yes...especially if it's wearing a bathing suit" she responded, snidely.
"You know, Edna, your life would be considerably improved if you didn't spend so much time seeking out things that offend you."
"I have a duty to protect our community!"
"No one asked you"
"Because you've lured them into complacency"
"You credit me with too much influence, Edna"
"I see your influence growing day by day, Mr Cuffe"
"You don't know the half of what goes on in this city...if you did you wouldn't see me as your great enemy!" Cuffe's voice started to crack as he said those words. Suddenly, he went quiet.
Edna took a moment to compose herself during this brief silence before saying "Well, I've made my point perfectly clear. Goodbye, Mr Cuffe"
She headed home where she rendezvoused with George.
"I have met the enemy, George" she said "...and he is scared!"
"Of us?" asked George.
"Why yes, who else?" she replied.
