"Travis, you look worried" said Liberty Lee to her housemate one morning.
"That's because I am worried, Libs." he replied, earnestly. "That maniac that was in our street the other day...the firebomber and assassin...walked right past our house. Right past it!"
"And?" said Liberty with a shrug.
"What if they hadn't walked past but entered our home instead? What then? We'd be all dead, that's what!"
"Why would they have entered our home?" asked Liberty, still not understanding Travis' concern here.
"Why did that last bunch of criminals break in our home and vandalise it a few months ago? Because we and this house are here. That's twice now we've been at the epicentre of some criminal activity and we can't be complacent anymore!" Travis was emphasising his point and Liberty sat up and didn't even try to ridicule his concerns even if she didn't share them.
"So, what do you propose we do?" she asked.
"What I do, Libs. I need to step up and become the protector of this household. I don't want anything bad happening to you or Summer and it's my responsibility to keep you two safe here. I'm going to buy a gun."
Liberty said nothing but took a deep breath. Travis owning a gun, keeping one around the house? She was not comfortable with that idea.
"Right...I've done thinking about this" continued Travis "and now I'm going to do some research". He stood up and left the room. A minute later, Summer entered and sat down next to Liberty.
"Summer...you have to stop him!" said Liberty.
"Stop him from what?" Summer replied.
"He wants to buy a gun!"
"WHAT? Why?"
"He wants to protect us from maniacs breaking into the house"
"OK, this has come right out of the blue...I'm going to have to talk to him. Wait here" said Summer, getting up and marching off to confront Travis.
She found him, strangely, in Liberty's bedroom reading a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine.
"I'm torn between getting a revolver or semi-automatic pistol" he said, not looking up from the magazine. "What do I want to go for? 9mm is easier to shoot, .45 has more stopping power. Ooh, a .44 magnum; I wonder what they're like?"
"Travis, can you put that magazine down for a moment and talk about this?" said Summer.
Travis turned his gaze away from it and at her. "Your safety is paramount with me" he said.
"I realise that. But let's sit down and talk about this. You, who have never wielded anything more lethal than BBQ tongs in your life, now want to get a gun."
"Why not? It's a wild, wild world out there" he replied.
"I'm worried that you're going to harm yourself instead of protecting us. You've got no experience of handling a gun: You're not like Efrem Zimbalist Jr in The F.B.I. you know."
"So I should go with the lighter calibre pistol then? Something I could manage?"
"No! That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying getting a gun is too big a step for you. For us. Do you know what you're doing?"
Travis nodded. "You're right. I need some more expert advice. Say, I could get something like what Action has: A Colt .38 Detective."
Summer rolled her eyes but then an idea hit her. Action: Get him to talk Travis out of this crazy gun fixation. As he went back to his magazine she went to the phone and called their neighbour.
Within minutes Action had arrived and Summer went to meet him on the front porch, out of Travis' ear shot.
"So what's this I hear about Travis wanting to pack some heat?" asked Action.
"He's serious! He's out the back there going through a gun magazine and reading the reviews." replied Summer.
Action shook his head. "Some cats can handle a piece but I can tell Travis ain't one of them. Leave this with me."
Travis emerged from the back room and saw Action out on the porch talking with Summer.
"Hey, Action my man...cool to see you and you're just the kind of guy I wanted to have a talk with. I want to buy a gun; is the .38 Colt Detective a good one?"
"Good for me, bad for you. You need to knock that crazy idea out of your head that you need to pack a piece." said Action, bluntly.
"Oh..." Travis didn't predict Action would cut him down so curtly. "It's just that with, you know, that maniac running around and that break in we had I needed to step up and do my civic duty in protecting the...you know...womenfolk."
"Womenfolk? Who do you think you are? Some 1880s homesteader?" said Action. "Let's go inside and talk facts."
The two men went inside whereupon, without saying a word, Action produced his sidearm from a shoulder holster, emptied the cylinder of ammo and handed the empty revolver to Travis.
"Go ahead, take it. Hold it. Aim it...NOT AT ME!" Said Action, suddenly grabbing Travis and pointing his gun hand away from him and to a picture on the wall. "How does it feel in your hand? Could you aim that at someone and shoot them? Could you? Because if you're life is threatened by someone coming at you, you have to shoot to kill. Can you actually do that? Your hand is trembling" he said, looking at Travis holding the gun. Travis lowered it and shook his head.
"Maybe I should get lessons first. Go to a range" he said, meekly.
"That makes more sense" said Action. "That woman we're after; she's not coming for you or Summer or Liberty. You want to help us get her and others like her? Keep your eyes open and report anything suspicious you see. Watch out for our neighbours and leave the violence to the professionals."
Summer and Liberty invited Action to stay and while Travis made the drinks the girls thanked their cop neighbour for his help in talking sense.
"Well, I've made Foundry Cove a little bit safer today but I've got to get moving: I'm a man with a lot going on" said Action, downing his drink and getting up to leave.
"I guess you must think I'm a prize chump" said Travis, sheepishly to Summer.
"Not at all...you just got carried away. I find the idea of you wanting to protect us very noble and gallant" she replied.
"I could always fend off attackers with my BBQ tongs" he replied.
"Come here, give us a kiss you great big loveable white knight!"
Their moment of romance was abruptly interrupted by a ring on the doorbell. "Did Action forget to take his gun back with him?" said Travis. However it wasn't Action, it was Jeremy Saint.
"Oh hey, Jeremy, how's it going?" asked Travis.
"Fine thanks. Barbara's gone off to some fashion trade fair for the day and I've got a spare ticket for the Humor & Hijinks Festival. Fancy coming along?" said Jeremy.
"We haven't been to that in a long time" replied Travis.
"Well, I'm off to work soon so you should go and have a good time" said Summer.
"Hell...why not?" said Travis.
As the two guys arrived at the festival they could see it was already in full swing.
"Say, Jeremy, are you with either the Pranksters or Jokesters?" asked Travis.
"Neither. I never bothered. Barbara supports the Pranksters" Jeremy replied.
Travis nodded, a thought had just come to him. "Jeremy...this festival contains a metaphor for life. You're either a prankster or a jokester. Jokesters like words, they like talk, they think and they work things out in their heads. Pranksters are the practical ones, the do-ers, the ones prepared to get their hands dirty."
"O.......K" said Jeremy, sceptically.
"O.......K" said Jeremy, sceptically.
"Take the two guys I know the best: You and Action. Now you, Jeremy, are a Jokester. You deal in words, ideas, you read a lot...you think a lot"
"I'm not sure how to take that" said Jeremy.
"No, buddy, that's not a bad thing at all. But Action, he's a Prankster. He sees, he acts. He's like a tiger ready to spring into action."
"That is his name after all" replied Jeremy. "So which are you?" he added.
"I'm not sure...yet. Today I tried to be a Prankster but I think in my heart I'm a Jokester. I've got to work that one out"
"Do you really need to? I mean, really?" said Jeremy.
They were more interested in talking and eating from the vendors than the comedy on offer at the festival. As they chatted and Travis tried to expand on his new idea they were joined by a young woman who had declared for the Pranksters. She gave her name as Ulrike Faust.
"So what made you choose the Prankster team, Ulrike?" asked Travis.
"It's part of a dare. I've been challenged to cause as much mayhem as possible on the Jokesters this evening and I never back down from a direct challenge." she replied.
"You see, Jeremy? That's classic Prankster behaviour. My theory holds" said Travis.
"OK...I'm now going to plant a big custard pie into that person's face!" said Ulrike, getting up and reaching into a bag.
"It's funny being back here" said Jeremy. "The last time you and I were here I met Julia for the first time"
"Oh yeah, I remember! She wouldn't stop talking to you...I think she liked you back then" replied Travis.
"Yeah, maybe" said Jeremy, a little embarrassed. "That night I almost asked her out. I chickened out though and thank goodness I did because a week later I met Barbara!"
"You liked Julia?" asked Travis.
"Well...yeah, she's a bit of a know-it-all and talks the back legs off a donkey but...she's smart, decent, cute..."
"I'll let you in on a little secret: I found her cute as well. Do you remember that first party we threw? She wore this blue dress and, man, for a while I was attracted. But Summer was always the one for me..."
"What about Liberty? Didn't you say you liked her for a while?"
"I wasn't serious. Nope. I was always faithful to Summer."
"That red head you met at the Waterside Warble...what about her?"
"Oh that was a one night stand! She doesn't count!"
Ulrike returned to their table. "Ha! I snuck up on them as they were preparing to light a firework and BAM! They'll be washing the whipped cream out of their hair tonight!" she said. "You two still just sitting here?"
"Hey, Ulrike...what about this for a prank? I talk normally to someone and then, suddenly..."
"I don't think you're Prankster material, Travis" said Ulrike. She smiled, patted his cheek and left. Travis sauntered over to where Jeremy was watching the stand up comedienne.
"Travis. Why don't you stop trying and just kick back and take in the evening?" said Jeremy.
"It wasn't that long ago that I was trying to give you the same piece of advice." Travis chuckled.
