CHAPTER 236: Humour & Hijinks

"So this is the famous Humour & Hijinks Festival.  Do you know, I've never been before" said David Wright; a former friend from Julia's university days.  Was this a date?  Not in her mind it wasn't.  Yesterday her friend, Suzy, was dropping not so subtle hints that she thought Julia had a little crush on this guy.  Did she?  Well, she admired David's intellect, his charming demeanour as well as his clean cut good looks but "crush"?  Julia dismissed the idea.

"I try to go every month" replied Julia.  "I first came here in my freshman year at college and I liked it.  It gives me a chance to examine the psychology of humour"

"As well as throwing a custard pie in someone's face." said David.  "Shall we get a drink?"

They headed over to the festival's Tiki Bar and got themselves a round of drinks.  Julia was curious as to what David was doing now, as he was a postgrad and working on some kind of field work.

"What's this work you're doing now?" she asked.

David took a big gulp of his drink before answering.  "You mean my field work?  Well I wish I could tell you but it's government work...of a kind...and I'm bound to keep it secret."

"You're kidding me" said Julia

"I wish I was, Jules.  There's been some kind of epidemic...although we're not sure it is an epidemic but we suspect it is...that's broken out in Strangerville and I'm working with this British scientist to see what the cause is.  And that's all I can tell you."

"Golly gee!  Medical emergency?  Could I get a place on your team?  Do you need a doctor to help find the cause of this epidemic?"

"Jules, my boss...this English guy...is a genius and he's a doctor, and scientist, and a bit of everything really.  Say, though...I don't think I'd be betraying any secrets if I sought your expert medical opinion on the symptoms the afflicted have shown?"

Julia's eyes lit up.  "Try me!"

"OK...symptoms are a rigidity in movement, like they're robotic, one eye enlarged, pupils dilated, face fixed in a hideous grin, enhanced strength and a complete disconnect with the world around them." said David, matter of factly.

"Hmmm" Julia said, stroking her chin.  "My first guess is it's something neurological"

"That's what Cornelius...my boss...thinks"

"I'd like to meet him" she replied.

"I'm sure you would."

"Anyway, David, I've just spotted a friend of mine over there by the stage area.  Her name's Joelene and she's a really talented singer.  I think she's going to perform here tonight"

David looked across to the stage area and saw a very attractive woman with a long, blonde ponytail and wearing a cream coloured minidress that showed off her very shapely legs.  She looked a star, he thought, even if he didn't know she was an entertainer beforehand although she did look familiar from somewhere...

"Julia, you made it!" said a pleasantly surprised Joelene.  "I'm just doing one last sound check and then it's showtime"

"I wouldn't miss your debut at the Humour and Hijinks Festival for anything" replied Julia.

"Technically this isn't my debut; I performed here with the other Lothario Kittens back in March"

"That's it!" exclaimed David all of a sudden:  He had remembered where he had seen this Joelene before but as soon as he'd said the words, he felt embarrassed.

"This is my friend, David.  David, this is Joelene; I used to be her accompanist before she turned pro"

"Pleased to meet you" said Joelene.  She was impressed by Julia's 'date', he was a dish and she gave Julia a knowing smile but it didn't register with her.

"Well you sock it to 'em tonight, Joelene." said Julia, giving her friend some encouragement.

A few minutes later the set started and Julia and David enjoyed the show, which drew in a lot of exhausted Pranksters and Jokesters.  The Fall weather was starting to become cooler and some of the Jokesters were shivering from having buckets of water thrown over them by the Pranksters.

Julia and David watched the show and then wandered around the festival, taking in the sights and sounds with corny jokes being thrown around like confetti.

"I'm glad you've ended up living your dream of being a doctor and I will ask Cornelius if there could be a place for you on the team."

"Thanks, David.  It looks like things are working out for you as well....it sounds exciting whatever it is you're doing."

"It is.  So...are you still the dedicated workaholic?"

"I am very dedicated to my job but I have a good circle of friends and I do let my hair down from time to time.  And yourself?"

"Me?  I seem to have two lives:  The one with Cornelius and the other member of the team, Peggy.  She's smart but she's a bit full of herself.  The other life is that on campus, hanging out with others on my course and around the place.  And, well...there's...ach, never mind." he said, waving his hand as if he was wafting away a fly.  He stopped short of mentioning Lauren, the Strangerville Librarian who he was attracted to but wasn't sure if it was unprofessional of him to pursue a relationship with.

Julia figured there was something he didn't want to talk about.  Possibly a relationship or something else that was deeply private to him.  It was at that moment that both of them was stuck for something to say to each other.

"It's been great catching up, Jules" said David, breaking the silence.

"Oh yes, it has.  It would be nice to meet again." replied Julia, primly.

"I would like that.  I trust I'm not making someone jealous if you and I were to meet socially?" he said, rather forwardly.

"Jealous?  Oh no!  You know me...dedicated to my work as always." said Julia, blushing awkwardly.

"Still the same girl I met in our freshman year." said David, smiling.  "It looks like things are winding down here, can I walk you home or get you a cab?"

"That's kind but I've arranged to share a taxi with Joelene when this has finished.  David, it's...." she said, not knowing what to say next.  She had to admit to herself that her relationship with David was on a precipice.  He was smart, handsome and eligible and on the surface all what she wanted in a partner but on the other hand her feelings weren't strong enough to make her flirt with him or offer encouragement in that department.

"Give us a hug, Jules...if that's OK with you?" he said, interjecting when she was stuck for words.

"That's absolutely fine.  Good seeing you again." she said, sincerely and reciprocating his embrace with a firm hug.

David's evening continues in chapter 10 of CORNELIUS....

CHAPTER 172: Calmness, Balance, Centred

Suzy couldn't help but go for a jog past her old neighbourhood.  Courtyard Lane and Foundry Cove were just under a mile away from each other so it was no great effort to plan a keep fit run that would pass right by her old house and those of her friends.  There was still a tether between her and them.

She was wondering if she's bump into one of them and, as luck would have it, there was Julia walking down the road towards her.

"Oh my goodness!  Suzy!" Exclaimed Julia.

"Julia!  You look great, how are you?  Give us a hug!" replied Suzy.

"A hug...oh...erm...alright" said Julia, overcoming her aversion to physical expressions of friendliness for a moment to greet a dear friend.

"Out for a run, I see" added Julia.  "Just how far away is your new home?"

"Oh not far at all; about a mile.  You must come over sometime to see it.  Now look at you; pretty frock, lovely jewellery...going somewhere special?"

"No, not particularly but it's a lovely, bright morning and I felt a bit more colourful today." said Julia.  Suzy wondered if she was meeting someone special later on, knowing that Julia would rarely admit to such things, even to her closest friends.

"Once we've fully unpacked and up and running in the house Neil and I will have all you guys and girls over for a get together...now I must keep running or I'm going to get very cold very soon!  Have a great day, Jules...whatever you get up to" she said with a knowing smile.  There has to be a guy involved she thought to herself.

But there really wasn't.  Julia just wanted to feel relaxed and positive about herself for a change.  It was a warm day so thick, woollen turtleneck sweaters were out and a lightweight summer frock was in.  It was that simple, but then Suzy's mind did race to all kinds of places and possibilities...

Julia was now going to head to the Spa:  She much preferred it to the gymnasium as it was a calmer environment with no loud music playing, plenty of alternatives to just running and lifting weights and no sweaty jocks either!

Ahh, the peace and tranquillity of the steam room...free from the distractions of the world outside...just breathe in and breathe out and...

"Finally, I made it here!  I'm telling you, the car parking options around here are dreadful?  Did you struggle to get here as well?"

"What?" said Julia, startled into full consciousness again.  There was a frustrated looking woman standing over her in the steam room.

"Do you find the parking here frustrating?" said the woman.

"I do not have a car.  I took the bus here." replied Julia.

"Hurumph" said the woman, taking off her robe, hanging it up and sitting next to Julia.

"Well, I'm here now...time to relax." and with that the woman inhaled and exhaled deeply and loudly.  Then she started to chant.

"Cum-bahhhhhhhhhhhh, cum-bahhhhhhhhhhhh, ohmmmmmmmm, ohmmmmmmmmmmm, cum-bahhhhhhhhhhhh...I do this to equalise the air pressure in my lungs."

"I....see...." replied Julia.

"I'm also trying to inhale the steam as well to purify my lungs." continued the woman.

"Erm, I'm not sure it works that way..." said Julia but the woman wasn't listening.

Julia slipped away from the steam room and went to get changed into her exercise clothes.  She really wanted to join a yoga class but it was full, so she went to a private room and did some meditation there.

"Calm....balance...centre..." she mumbled to herself.  "I am in control, I feel fine, I am at peace..."

Yes, Julia had conquered all her stress...she was completely self-contained.  Her work, that was for another day.  Her life, that was in balance; just right for her needs.  Her emotional state, peaceful.  Relationships....well....she had friends and that would suffice.  Indeed, she was going to meet up with an old friend this evening...

Once finished at the spa she put on her summer outfit again and headed back to Willow Creek to meet with Joelene, her most unlikely friend.  Joelene was a singer and model and was once a Lothario Kitten who was the April centrefold for the magazine before she became disillusioned with it.  Now she was just making a name for herself in pop music.

Outside the Blue Velvet bar, the two friends met.

"Julia!  Great to see you!  You look amazing in that dress; the colour suits you." said Joelene.

"Does it?  It's something I just threw on this morning.  Shall we go inside?"

The place was really busy and it was still the early evening.  The girls had to fight their way to the bar but Jolene had spotted someone she recognised....and they recognised her.

"Joeene!  What are you doing here?" said a young, dashing looking guy with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"J, nice to see you too" replied Joelene, giving him a peck on the cheek before sitting down at the bar.  "Oh, let me introduce you to my friend, Julia."

J took a brief look at Julia and didn't register any emotion or interest.  "Oh, hi" was all he could manage before turning back to Joelene.  "So, I haven't seen you since that last club meeting you were at; what's been happening?" he asked.

"I've been on tour, I've done a few fashion shoots...WITH my clothes on, I'll have you know!" Joelene replied

Whilst Joelene and this J character were chatting, Julia spotted one of the dreaded Lothario Kittens at the microphone and singing.  

"Why is she here?" Julia asked Joelene.  It was J who answered her.

"Alan Cuffe's got a deal with the owner of this place:  Saturday night one of the Kittens performs here.  That's Skye, Miss June."

"Ah, my replacement!" commented Joelene.

Julia shrugged her shoulders.  "Meh, she's OK...that's a backing tape she's singing to though, not a real live band."

Abruptly the music came to an end and Skye looked to the barman, who looked at her and shook his head.  The Kitten looked embarrassed and gingerly held up the microphone to her mouth.

"Erm...it seems we have a bit of a technical problem here." she said, apologetically.  "We're trying to fix it...alas, I don't have a piano accompaniment tonight."

Joelene leant over to Julia.  "You could offer to play piano for her!" she whispered.

"Me? But that's a Kitten!  I hate that scene!" replied Julia, indignantly.

"I was a Kitten once and we met when you accompanied me.  Even Alan was in the audience that night.  I hate to see a young singer stranded like that up there, no fault of her own when the equipment breaks down."

Julia nodded quietly, downed the last of her wine, and got up to walk over to the piano.

"Excuse me, Miss Skye or whatever your name is" said Julia, haughtily.  "I am a pianist; you might recognise my friend Joelene over there.  I will play the piano whilst you finish your set.  I won't play anything lewd though; no hoochie coochie, no gyrating dance music and no songs with narcotic references if you please."

"How about 'Let's Spend The Night Together' by the Rolling Stones?" asked Skye.

"Definitely not!  Let's see your set list...hmmm...no, no, certainly not!  Ah, this one is acceptable." said Julia.

"OK, that's a groovy choice, let's do this." said Skye.  She turned to the audience and spoke into the night.  "Thank you everyone for your patience...help has arrived in the form of...erm, what's your name?" Skye whispered to Julia.

"Julia Epstein...DOCTOR Julia Epstein"

"OK...help is here from Doctor Julia Epstein, the medical maestro on piano.  This is one you should all know, it's from the last Beatles album, Rubber Soul and it's "In My Life"...

Joelene, in the meantime was trying to make a good impression on J.  He had joined the club not long before she left and she didn't get the chance to know him well whilst they were both members.  He was handsome, charming and witty but things never went further than that, despite the flirting that would go on.  However, on this occasion, J seemed more interested in Skye than her...

Once Julia and Skye had finished the song, the barman gave them a heads up that the backing tape was working again.  Skye thanked Julia for coming to her rescue.

"You know, you're pretty good.  I'd like to work with you again at a future gig.  How about it?" asked Skye.

"I offered to help you out as a favour to our mutual friend, Joelene.  As a rule I do not help any enterprise connected to Lothario.  If you were to do a gig not under their umbrella, and I was free, I would like to accompany you in the future." Julia replied, firmly.  Skye shrugged in agreement.

Julia went back over to the bar to join Joelene.  "Jules, I hope you don't mind but can we split from this joint now?" said Joelene.

"Oh, why?" 

"I don't like the vibe right now" said Joelene, looking in the direction of J, who was in turn smitten by Skye.

"OK, where do you suggest we go next?" asked Julia.

"You might not like this idea but hear me out...." said Joelene.

"THE ROMANCE FESTIVAL, SERIOUSLY!" exclaimed Julia once they'd arrived in downtown San Myshuno.

"I know, I know, you hate lovey dovey romance stuff but the bar here's really good and the food...wow, the food is some of the best in the city.  We can avoid all the romantic stuff and just have fun."

"If you say so..." said Julia, looking on in disapproval at a couple chasing each other around and giggling like schoolchildren.

However, she did recognise someone very familiar to her; her aunt Elle.  "Auntie Elle!  Auntie Elle!  Hello there!" she called out but Elle was in a world of her own and didn't hear Julia calling out.  

"Can you wait a moment here, Joelene?  That's my aunt over there and I want to say hello to her.  I'll be right back." said Julia before trying to catch up with Elle.  However, Elle had turned a corner up ahead and when Julia had caught up to where she had been, Elle was nowhere to be seen.  Julia sighed and went back to find Joelene, who had already found something exotic to eat.

"You should try some of this, Jules.  I can't pronounce what it is but it's delicious." she said.

"I will, shortly...I saw my aunt, you know, the one with the health problems just now but she ignored me."

"Accidentally?"

"I hope so.  Her moods do change rapidly.  I don't know whether I'm in her good or bad books at any given moment.  Sigh, oh well, I'll telephone her later this week to see how she's doing.  So...let me get one of those bowls."

Julia bought some edamame and enjoyed it.  Once both women finished eating they checked out the scene at the festival.  

"So what happens here, Joelene?" asked Julia.  "I've always been put off by the name, 'Romance Festival'"

"Well, in theory you bring a date here or you hope to find a date and the environment is meant to inspire romance" replied Joelene.

"Sounds like a waste of time to me" said Julia.

Joelene smiled.  "Oh Jules you really shouldn't be so down on love.  This isn't sex, this is romance.  The art of courting, of getting to know someone you're interested in a little better and sparking a bit of chemistry between people.  It's a more wholesome version of what the Kitten Club gets up to."

"My parents were introduced to each other by a matchmaker" replied Julia.  "A much better system.  Their prospects were analysed and assessed and the matchmaker used all her knowledge to find the right people to match up.  No need for dating and guesswork."

"Forgive me for bringing this up, Jules, but didn't you open up and feel a pang of romance between you and that doctor?" 

Julia gulped nervously.  "Well...I did but look how that turned out.  Now a matchmaker would have assessed that Vincent's true loyalty was to helping the world instead of getting romantically involved with one person." she replied.

"OK, now there isn't a matchmaker here but there is a Love Guru." said Joelene.

"A what?"

"A Love Guru.  She consults the tea leaves and gives sage advice on love and romance"

"And tea leaves are going to tell me who I should marry?  Pfft!" said Julia, dismissively.

"Let's give it a go and see what happens..." replied Joelene.

"...and then there was my Aunt Irma who married this investment banker from New Jersey and THAT was a disaster for both of them!  Split up after 8 months of marriage and she still hasn't married.  She's sworn off men.  Aunt Irma is such an inspirational figure in my life; encouraged me to become a doctor, helped me with my love of art and music..."

Within 3 minutes of meeting Saya Sakomoto, the Love Guru, Julia was pouring her heart and thougths out to this old, wise woman who mainly sat there nodding but saying little.

"And what about you, Joelene, what has led you here to see me and ask for my guidance?" said Saya, turning her attention to Julia's friend.

"I still haven't met a man since I had an accidental lesbian affair with a co-worker." replied Joelene, matter of factly.

"I....see..." said Saya, thoughtfully.  "Was the other young lady?" Saya continued, pointing at Julia.

"Oh no!" said Joelene suddenly.  

"Definitely not" added Julia.  "I'm completely unromantic with men and especially women.  If I get married, and I must stress 'if', then children and family are vitally important.  Besides having an affair with a co-worker is most unprofessional."

"What about Vincent?" said Joelene.

"I did not have an affair with him!" 

"But you thought about it" said Joelene.

"Alright ladies, I think I can give you both some advice:  You will meet the right people at the right time...do not force it or rush things.  You both have long journeys ahead of you.  Sayonara."

As the Guru left their table, Joelene turned to Julia and said "so much for that.  We're no closer to having a good time with any guys."

"Good job that's not what I'm looking for right now....hey..." said Julia, noticing someone she recognised across the square from where they were sitting.  "...I know that man.  Burr DeBenning, yes, he's a friend of Suzy's."

"Are you interested in him?" asked Joelene.

"Not really.  But if I can attract his attention, I'll introduce you to him."

"Ooh, thanks.  He does look cute and what interesting sideburns." said Joelene, looking the man up and down.

However, their interest was soon dimmed when they saw Burr eagerly talking with a woman neither recognised.

"I think we may have just missed that boat..." said Joelene with a sigh. "I'm sorry to have dragged you here" she added.

"It's been fun; not my scene but fun to watch.  Ugh, not that couple though!  Get a hotel room you two!" replied Julia.  "Well, I'm going to head on home...I'm getting very tired."

"Jules, next time it'll be your choice of where we go...are you OK?" asked Joelene.

"Oh I'm completely fine...I am calm, balanced and centred" she said, with a little grin of smugness.  "Don't worry about not finding a catch here tonight, I'm sure you'll meet someone you like and who likes you very soon."

"Excuse me..." said a man, approaching where Julia and Joelene were sitting.  "Aren't you Joelene Scholl, the singer?" he said.

"I am..." she replied.

"I saw you in concert a couple of weeks ago...you were great.  I'm a fan of your work" he added.

"Really?  Are you going anywhere or can you spare some time here?" Joelene said, looking him up and down and smiling?

CHAPTER 158: Clandestine Shopping Trip

"What was that noise?" said Edna Sneedley, her suspicious gaze suddenly turning towards the front door.

"I think it was the mailman, dear" said her husband, George.

"The mailman's delivery is always precisely 10am, this is 2 hours ahead of that.  I'm going to find out what's going on!" she exclaimed, striding to the door.

On examining the contents of the mailbox she noticed a flyer for a local politician that belonged to the opposition party.  Edna unfolded it and read the words.

"we STAND for PROGRESSIVE policies...MORE taxes on wealthy people....MORE representation for our younger people...MORE government INTERVENTION programs!  Bring our BOYS back home from VIETNAM...END the WASTEFUL Apollo program!  Make LOVE not WAR!"

Edna's nostrils flared and she crumped the flyer in her hand.  "Who befouled my mailbox with this FILTH!" she exclaimed.  It didn't take her long at all to discover who...a lady in a pink suit but wearing an opposition party button on her jacket lapel was putting the same leaflets through all the letterboxes on the street.  Edna saw her target and strode purposefully over to her to confront them over this.

"Excuse me, is this yours?" said Edna to the lady in her demure voice, which usually set up the unsuspecting victim to be lambasted loudly.

"Why yes, are you interested in our cause?" said the lady.  "My name is Reyna Narayanan and I'm your local candidate..."

"NO YOU MAY NOT COUNT ON MY SUPPORT!" Blasted Edna.  "And nor can you count on my husband's either!  THIS is League of Decency country!"

"The League of What?" said a startled Reyna. 

"The League of Decency....a group of dedicated citizens who are standing up against the degradation of our society by the likes of your party!" And with that Edna crumpled the flyer up in her hands and shoved it back at Reyna.  "YOU are not welcome HERE!" she bellowed.  Reyna said nothing but instead stomped off, angry at being met with such hostility.

"Pinko!" muttered Edna, behind her back.

Meanwhile George was in the house bunker having a drink and thinking of what to do today.  He had a day off from work but Edna was on the campaign trail thus leaving him on his lonesome for a few hours.  Now normally he would change into his alter-ego, Georgina, or was it Beulah?  A few hours dressed as a woman took George to his private happy place although it was touch and go last time he dragged up:  None other than Geoffrey Landgraab had spotted him as a her and even tried to flirt with him...leading to George having to improvise matters and create yet another alter ego named Beulah who was this Southern Belle character.  That day was such a thrill that George considered doing it again and venturing even further afield.

"Alright, Dear, I'm off...wish me luck at City Hall!" said Edna as she was exiting the house.

"Bye-bye, my love!  Have a nice day" replied George.  As soon as the front door closed shut, he thought about what he wanted to do.  Instead of dressing up he decided that Georgina's wardrobe needed some additions so he was planning a shopping trip down at Magnolia Promenade.  It was a part of town he didn't venture into much, so there was less chance of him being recognised by anyone he knew.  He took a bus and a subway downtown, committed to his plan of action.

It was 9:30am when he arrived at Magnolia Promenade and, as he suspected, it was mostly deserted down there as it was a weekday morning.  The first shop he walked past he had mixed feelings about:  Pack's Clothing.  It was owned by this mere slip of a girl, one of those so-called "Dolly Birds" he had read about in the newspapers.  Pack's was where the Mods, Dolly Birds and Faces all bought their clothes.  Not George's thing, not even "Georgia's", but his attention was grabbed by some of the displays in the shop window.

He particularly liked a black lace basque and next to it, a purple exercise leotard.  Hmmm, I need to shed a few pounds...he thought, patting his stomach.  Along the line of mannequins he saw some nice cocktail dresses as well.  Maybe this shop did have some things to interest him?  He decided  to venture inside.

Apart from a couple of shop assistants, he was alone in the boutique.  First he wandered by the menswear section, feigning interest whilst occasionally glancing at the more interesting womenswear.  He had already seen a couple of things that took his interest but now his heart pounded faster and faster as he had to check more closely to see if they had the outfits in his size and then...actually go and purchase them.

"Can I help you, sir?" said a voice behind him.  George turned around and saw two shop assistants standing behind him.

"Erm...I...well...I don't know" he stammererd.

"May we help you?  Are you looking for yourself or for someone else?" the lady shop assistant replied.

"Erm...I'm looking for clothes...FOR MY WIFE!" George exclaimed.  The male shop assistant stepped away and the young woman continued to probe George for more information.

"A present or something to mark a special occasion?" the shop girl continued.

"I just like to buy my wife gifts now and again...a surprise." said George.

"And did you have anything in particular in mind for her?"

"Erm....that...erm...basque...you have in the window."

"Oh, now that is ideal for a special gift.  What size is she?"

"Erm...a Sixteen" he said, giving his own size.

The shop assistant went out back to the stock room and returned with an ornate cardboard box which she proceeded to open, revealing the black satin and lace garment wrapped up in thin tissue paper.

"Is this what you want?" she asked.

"FOR MY WIFE!  Yes, thank you" he replied.

"Of course...and would you like any hosiery to go with this?  Stockings or pantyhose?"

"STOCKINGS!" he blurted out.  "Erm...black.  Sheer."

"Sir knows his wife very well.  There we go" she said,  reaching for a pair of black nylons that were on a shelf and putting them on top of the box.  "And anything else?"

George's heart was pounding faster and faster and he was about to break into a sweat.  This is going well, he thought, he just had to remain calm.  The last item he was interested in was the little black dress.  A bit shorter than he was used to wearing...and the kind of thing that Edna would object to...but Georgina would be interested in wearing it.

He decided that the three items were enough for today and, besides, he didn't like the other outfits in the shop as they were too trendy.

"There you go sir, I hope your wife enjoys what you've bought her.  I must say, you have very good taste.  Most of our male customers are hopeless at buying for their wives but you have a good eye for fashion." said the shop assistant once the transaction had been completed.

"Oh, do I?  Well, she gives me clues" he stammered.  The mission was almost accomplished...almost.  George had the items and he was prepared to head on out of the shop, content that he'd picked the right shop and right time of day so he wouldn't be recognised.  But he had and by someone he knew so tangentially that even though they had never spoken with one another, they had seen each other just often enough for a mutual recognition.

The person in question was Joelene Scholl:  A former Lothario Kitten now turned solo singer who had left her modelling career and kitten outfit behind.  But George had seen her enter and leave Lothario proprietor Alan Cuffe's house many times and she had seen him.  He was present when Edna lambasted her at the Blue Velvet Club in Willow Creek.  She had noticed him.  Now she recognised him here, alone and without Edna and she let out a startled cry.

George saw her as well and their eyes met.  She looked at him and noticed he was carrying some shopping bags with clothing from this shop in them.  Unfortunately for George, Joelene was between him and the door so he couldn't avoid her.  He started to walk purposely out of the shop but as he walked past her she couldn't resist a little dig in his direction.

"I didn't think this was your kind of shop, Mr Sneedley" she said.

"That's none of your business!" he snapped back at her.

"Does your wife know you're here?  Strange that a man known for his upstanding views on society should shop for clothes in an establishment that caters for all the kinds of people you hate."

"Again, my business is my own and not your concern!"

"How many times did you lurk outside of Alan's house, trying to get a peep at us?"

"I did not try and peep at you!  Well, only to find out what kind of lewd activities you were getting up to!" he said, defensively.

"I bet it gave you a thrill!" she shot back at him.

All George could muster as a retort was a loud, indignant huff and he stormed out of the shop.  Those Lothario Kittens are the worst kind of women, he thought to himself.  Not only was their clothing and work provocative, but they were obnoxious as well and this Miss Scholl was one of the worst even though she was out of uniform!  George was also concerned that she might have guessed why he was in Pack's Clothing to begin with...

Without thinking, he found himself entering a very different kind of clothing store:  JF&S clothiers.  They specialised in expensive evening and formal wear.  George was exhausted and nearly had one of his turns back at Pack's Clothing so he sat down and saw all the elegant dresses displayed there.  This place calmed him down; civilised, traditional and upmarket. 

As George was being becalmed by all the elegance around him, he was approached by a young, fashionable blonde woman.

"Wife's brought you along for one of her shopping trips, eh?" said the woman.

"What?  Are you talking to me?" George replied.

"Yes...and subject my boyfriend to the same ordeal as well.  Ha-ha.  You menfolk are very patient and kind whilst we indulge ourselves.  What's your wife looking for?"

"My wife?  Oh, her.  Uhm, well, you know, something elegant, refined, that sort of thing."

"She's certainly taking her time...I've noticed you've been sat here for ages.  An epic shopping trip?"

"Yes, ha-ha." George laughed nervously.  "You know, you ladies with your fancy dresses, frocks and...erm...shoes"

"Don't I know it!  My boyfriend is busy this morning otherwise I would have dragged him down here..."

"Dragged?" said George, gulping.

"Dragged, led, forced into coming to JF&S's when he'd rather be watching the baseball.  Anyway...so I've got this event coming up and..."

"Excuse me for interrupting, but I've realised I haven't locked the car up...must dash" George made a hurried excuse to leave because he had spotted Edna's old high school rival, Katrina Calliente, entering the shop and not only did she know George, slightly, she was such a gossip that word was bound to reach back to Edna that George was in JF&S's on his own.

George got up out of the chair, lowered his head, put his hand over his face and skulked off out of the shop, once back on the street he started to run for home.

Before he got to the subway station, he'd remembered he'd left the new clothes he'd bought behind at JF&S's so he had to quickly run back, grab them when Katrina wasn't noticing, and then run out again.

It was an exhausted, but relieved, George who returned to Sneedley Burrow.  He wasted no time in heading down into the bunker to stash his new purchases with his other secret items.  However, no sooner than the suitcase went back into the storage room than he heard Edna's footsteps coming down the stairs.

"George, are you here?" she cried.  "What are you doing down here, my dear?"

"Oh just a bit of sorting out, chucking out, that kind of thing.  Would you like a drink?"

"Oh yes please, I absolutely need one.  The problem with City Hall is that it's dry!" she said, flopping down on a chair.  George poured her a Sweet n' Spicy and she downed it in one.  She looked at George and felt warm towards him.  Getting up she went over to him and stroked his cheek.  "My man" she said, softly.

"Now, George, I think I can thrash you!" she said.

George looked worried.  "At...erm...what, dear?" he replied.

"Don't Wake the Llama.  We haven't played in ages.  Let's get us a couple of more Sweet n' Spicy's and play a few games!  I'm warning you, George, I play to win!"

"Don't I know it, dear"

CHAPTER 156: Social Circle

The house was a mess.  There were barely any clean clothes and no clean nightdresses or pyjamas and she was down to her last pair of thick black tights.  The lawn was overgrown and the house plants dying...this was the reality for a junior female doctor working long shifts at the hospital.  While she was working, the house fell into chaos but Julia wasn't earning enough to hire a full time cleaner.  As she sat there in just her underwear as there were no dressing gowns or robes clean enough to wear, eating food that was on the cusp of its use by date, she felt miserable being in such squalor.  

After eating a breakfast that smelled suspiciously like it had gone off, showeringm then finding a clean outfit to wear and plaiting her hair, she was ready to tackle those chores.  Even then, she had worn a hole in her comfy loafers...yet another expense, yet another thing to do.

The mess outside was like a jungle had sprung up.  Lots of weeds around the bins, piles of grot and detritus all around.  It was fortunate for her that none of the neighbours had complained about the mess.  The home looked like some kind of crazy, cat lady lived there all alone and not a qualified doctor.  If she didn't get on top of this, then she'd probably end up as that crazy cat lady.

As she finished clearly away the last of the stinky weed bushes, her pager went off.

"Oh what now?" she said, exasperated.  She checked to see that it wasn't the hospital who had left a message...it was the Casbah Gallery in San Myshuno:  She had been booked to play a lunchtime recital at the gallery and the pager was reminding her she had to be there at midday; an hour from now.  She just had enough time to check her hair and outfit before grabbing the sheet music and heading on into the city centre.

The piano was all laid out for her in the music room on the second floor.  Julia played piano at various clubs and venues to supplement her income and from an amateur open mic night at the Blue Velvet, she now played there and now here at the Casbah Gallery.

There were a steady stream of onlookers throughout her session and the tips came rolling in.  It was just a lunchtime concert but she had made $100 through tips alone.

Once her recital had finished, she gathered up her sheet music and headed downstairs where she bumped into a familiar face:  Rez Valdes.  Whenever she and Rez met...and it was always by chance...he had been besotted with her.  Normally her heart sank whenever a man put some moves on her but today she wasn't so fussed.  Recently she had met a man called Vincent Bledsoe at work who did stir what little romantic inklings she possessed and whilst not won over by Rez's devotions to her, neither did she instantly recoil from them now.

"Hello Rez" she said.

"Oh, hi Julia.  How's it going?" he replied, nonchalantly.

"Alright.  I just did a lunchtime piano recital upstairs"

"Yeah, I caught the last part of that.  You played well; not that I know much classical stuff."

"I'm glad you liked it..." she said, tentatively.  She was setting herself the task of talking to a guy of her own age without becoming defensive.  "What about you?  How are you today?"

"Me?  Yeah, well, I was jamming outside, you know?  Playing my sound...a mix of Latin influence rock n' roll with a touch of rockabilly, you know what I mean?" he said, coolly.

"Not really, but I must come and see you play sometime" she said, smiling.  Rez remained cool and detached though.

"That'd be cool" he replied.  "I'm building up a bit of a fanbase now..." he said, looking to his left and noticing a teenage girl looking coyly at him.  He gave her a nod and a wave in response.  "Yeah, you gotta have a fanbase" he continued.  Julia could tell his romantic attentions were elsewhere now and she had mixed feelings about that.  Relief that he wasn't pestering her but there was also a sense of jealousy bubbling up within her.

"I wish you good fortune in your musical endeavours" she said, glancing at the besotted teenager by the front doors of the gallery.  "And in other things as well..."

Julia felt it was the right time to go...she thought about being prudent with the money she'd earned at the gallery but then she decided to bank $20 and spend the rest down at the spa...she could do with a spiritual and physical cleanse with the aim of gaining some personal control over her increasingly chaotic life and if there was one thing Julia hated, it was chaos.

Yoga appealed to her; the combination of seemingly simple body movements, achieving peace of mind but contrasted with the discipline and trying to balance oneself...physically and mentally...was a challenge.  Worship and prayers at the synagogue, a big feature of her childhood, were too crowded and layered with intricate social relationships whereas yoga was more personal.  Now she only attended the synagogue when it was a family matter or for important religious days.

There was only Julia and one other lady in the yoga class today and Julia felt self-conscious as she worried that the spotlight would be more on her and that she couldn't fade into the group.  As fortune would have it, the other lady fell down twice whilst Julia managed the routines just about adequately.

After the session Julia was preparing to change and head home when she saw another familiar face...Kerry Fry.  She'd forgotten he worked here as a physiotherapist.

"Kerry!  Hi!" she said, waving to him as she walked down the hall to the massage section of the spa.

"Oh, Julia, hi" he said, looking her up and down.  "Did you have a good session?  I see you look more....toned".  His tone sounded more suggestive.

"Do I really?" she replied, innocently as she ran her hands up and down her waist and hips.  This just made Kerry bite his bottom lip to restrain himself.  He was at work, after all.

"You know, it's been too long since we last hung out...I thought you'd met some guy and were too busy for your old friends these days" he said.

"Me?  With a guy?  What, romantically?  Don't be silly *SNORT*" she said, letting out her trademark snorting laugh.

"Look, I'm busy all this week but how about next week?  You, me...I know this great whole food restaurant we could go to." he asked.

"Yeah, sure...as friends?" she replied.

"Oh yeah, totally cool in a friendly type way" he replied.

"OK, give me a call next week then" 

"You got it!" he said, clicking his tongue and winking at her.

Well that was all very pleasant... thought Julia as she showered and changed into her everyday clothes.  A friendly, platonic date with Kerry would be good as he was always interesting company.  And how nice of him to notice that she was looking fitter; the exercise was clearly paying off.

She went home, put her exercise clothes in the laundry hamper and checked her diary to see what was going on tomorrow at the hospital but to her surprise she saw that she had missed an event for today...a meeting of the League of Decency at Sneedley Burrow.  If she rushed she could make it just in time so she quickly stripped off her clothes and put on her League uniform in a hurry, which wasn't easy to do as it involved garter belts, knee boots and a strict minimal make up code.  Edna and George were sticklers for personal grooming...especially George.  Once Julia was ready she caught a bus for Oasis Springs and made it to the meeting with just minutes to spare.

Today's meeting concerned the publishing and promulgation of "smut, filth and unwholesome literature".  The group had been given the task to seek out books which had gratuitous sex, drug use and violence in them, work out which publishing houses published them in order to launch a campaign to have the offending works banned.

"And how did you do, Julia?" asked Edna.  "Did you find any works of depravity this week?"

"Well, I've been a little bit busy this week..." replied Julia, apologetically.

"Tsk, tsk..." said Edna, a slight tone of disapproval in her voice.  "And I was counting on your intellectual skills in this exercise as well.  But I understand you're a busy doctor with plenty of work on your plate.  Maybe next time, eh?" she said, more as an admonishment than encouragement.

Scott Urban sat next to Julia.  "Don't you worry, Miss Julia, I found a few books that take a negative view about our armed forces.  I could talk you through a few of them to show the mistakes the writers have made and how I think they're commie propaganda."

"That's nice, Scott.  Thanks for the offer of help" replied Julia.

Edna had a way of cutting a person down to size with a passive-aggressive comment.  Julia felt bad for not keeping up with her League commitments even though everyone else seemed to have no problem fulfilling them.  She remained quiet throughout the rest of the meeting and sloped off without anyone really noticing once it had ended.

One last thing that was in her diary...the Humour & Hijinks Festival downtown.  Julia always went to these and she did promise to catch up with her best friend, Francesca as well.  Julia felt that everything today just seemed that little bit hollow and not as fun or as interesting compared with how she felt about playing the piano or her League of Decency meetings.  Even the yoga felt like a band-aid hurriedly placed over a wound instead of healing it.

Julia didn't have time to go home and change out of her League uniform so she rocked up to the event as she was.  Francesca was already there and waiting.

"Julia...wow, that's some get up you've got on there!" said Francesca, looking at Julia in her uniform.

"It's my League of Decency uniform...I didn't have time to go home and change after the meeting"

"Are you here to shut the place down?  You look wild; like an extra from a Matt Helm movie.  Does the outfit come with a whip?" joked Francesca.

"No...why should it?" replied Julia, innocently.

"Never mind" said Francesca.  "Let's have fun"

There were a lot of interesting people at the festival this evening, including a very smartly dressed English gentleman who gave his name as Steed.  He charmed Francesca, and even Julia, with his wit, knowledge and impeccable manners.  However, Julia saw an old and dear friend sitting on her own:  Joelene Scholl.

"Jolene!  Hi!  Oh my goodness, I didn't expect to see you here!" gushed Julia.  "You remember my friend, Francesca?"

"Yes I do!  Julia, give me a hug, it's been such a long time!" replied Jolene, equally happy and surprised to see Julia.  She was immaculately made up and wearing a crushed velvet lilac minidress that flattered her figure.  The three of them sat down to continue their chat.

"I've just got back from Greenwich Village, New York" said Jolene.

"What were you doing there?" asked Julia.

"I was gigging...got me a 4 week regular slot at one of the big clubs down there.  I was supporting Buffalo Springfield" said Jolene.

"Never heard of him" said Julia.

"They're a band from Canada, Julia" said Francesca.

"Ohhhhh" said Julia.

"Well done you!  So the singing career is going well?" asked Francesca.

"Pretty good.  I got an agent now and am back here to check out the music scene here again.  We should do a gig together like old times, Jules"

"I'd like that." replied Julia.

Francesca went to get another round of drinks and that afforded Julia and Jolene to catch up more.

"...so life's pretty good but I miss my old friends" said Joelene.

"It's good to have you back!  Cheers!" said Julia, raising a glass in toast.  Joelene clinked her glass to Jules'.

"And what about you?  Anything interesting going on?" asked Joelene.

"Just work, work and more work really..." said Julia, wistfully.  "...I don't get out much at the moment.  Oh, I did go to a wedding...I think you know the bride, Suzy?"

"Oh Suzy from 'Hey Wow'?  Yeah, she finally tied the knot did she?  Good on her!  You didn't catch the bouquet afterwards?" Joelene said, teasing her friend.

"Certainly not!" said Julia, indignantly.

"Although our Jules has her eye on someone..." said Francesca, who had returned to the table with more drinks.

"I do not!" said Julia.

"Ooh do tell" said Joelene, all ears.

"I certainly won't" replied Julia, turning her nose up at the pair of them.

"He's a doctor..." continued Francesca.

"He's a colleague...NO! DON'T TWIST THAT!  I mean, the person Francesca has erroneously assumed I have a romantic rather than a professional interest in is a doctor who has been working part time at the hospital but I must stress it is just a professional interest"

"For now" replied Francesca, cheekily.

"I have one question..." said Joelene.  "Is he cute?"