CHAPTER 191: Security Check, A-OK

The Secretarial Pool at the Landgraab Corporation offices is, arguably, the most important part of the company.  Diktats and orders came on down from the high ups and the boardroom to the pool to be transformed from often vague or bombastic ideas into slick, corporate policy courtesy of the well trained ladies of the secretarial class.

The older, more experienced ladies had graduated from the Pool to becoming personal assistants to the bigwigs of the company.  Only the top P.A.s would be assigned to a family member of the Landgraabs.  Nancy always ensured that women past their prime or who weren't particularly gifted in the looks department would be assigned to Geoffrey, although Nancy thought his tastes in women were often strange...given how besotted with their new cleaning lady, Beulah, who had to be pushing 40 and not just past 30 as Beulah had said.  For her own assistants, she had one young man who looked good in his tailored suits, a dumpy but fierce looking woman of 50 who actually got stuff done and a young 20 something girl who was there mainly for Nancy to get fashion inspiration from.

The secretaries of the Pool were all very good at their jobs and were there for mainly three reasons:  One, those who wanted to catch the eye of a senior executive who would promote them to P.A. or even a minor management role.  Two, those who wanted to date and then marry a corporate executive and three, those who saw a job as a secretary at Landgraab's as a temporary job before moving on to other things or to settle down.  But one thing they had in common was a brisk efficiency and devotion to the company...it did provide excellent perks, after all.

The Pool's reputation in the corporation was a mixture of awe as some of the men in the company saw them as goddesses:  As if they were Vestal Virgins or temple guardians of the Greek goddess, Athena.  From the lecherous senior executives long well versed in the arts of the company affair through to the mail room clerks, fresh from high school or college, for whom every task to take the mail to the Pool was seen as being "chosen from on high" to gaze upon these lovely young women in their stylish clothes for just a few seconds.  Of course, the ladies of the Pool wouldn't waste time on these young wannabe suitors:  They should come back when they can wear a suit and tie and have lost their spots.

At her desk, right at the top of the Landgraab Tower, Nancy Landgraab drafted a memo in a barely legible scribble that was then passed on to Phyllis, her old, experienced P.A. who had a permanent scowl on her face.  She interpreted that memo and wrote it out, neatly, before taking it through to Geoffrey Landgraab's office, where his P.A. took charge of it, made a clarification and then handed it to the man himself.  Geoffrey read the memo, nodded in agreement and then countersigned it to give it his full approval before adding "ATTN: ALL DEPARTMENTS" at the bottom of the page.

The memo now went downstairs to the Secretarial Pool for it to be typed up, photocopied and distributed throughout the building.  The Pool didn't waste any time and within 20 minutes the request became a reality.  200 typed directives ready to go with another 200 in the pipeline.  Secretaries and mail room clerks were pressed in to service to get them to everyone and it was a rare moment where both groups rubbed shoulders with each other.  The clerks tried to attract the attentions of The Pool but with no luck on this occasion.

The memo finally arrived on Jeremy Saint's desk merely minutes after it had been photocopied.  On immediately looking at it he noticed the word URGENT in big, red capital letters stamped across the top of the page.  Jeremy's stomach tightened a notch after reading that one word.

That tightening continued as he read the whole memo; it was a notification of an impending high level security check throughout the whole company.  In light of recent news of industrial spying in other companies, Landgraab Corp. will initiate an unprecedented security sweep and investigation of the entire business in order to "check its confidential integrity".  

Jeremy felt uneasy:  He had been trying to find incriminating evidence against the Landgraabs and had accessed material that was classified confidential and he shouldn't have read.  The security sweep might discover what he had been up to and incriminate him.

It was hard to concentrate on his work after having read that and he sat in a departmental meeting with a glazed look on his face and barely concentrating on what was being said.  He contributed nothing except a couple of nods and left the meeting room feeling ever more anxious.  His silence at the meeting was picked up on by a colleague; Fanshawe.  Fanshawe had known Jeremy since their days together at Dewey, Cheathem & Howe but, like a lot of other people...Jeremy included...he had been headhunted by Landgraab for a better paid position.

"Not quite with it today, eh, Jeremy?  Barbara hasn't been keeping you up late has she?  Haw-haw-haw"

"I'm just a bit under the weather today, Fanshawe.  Hey, what do you make of that memo?  You know, the one about the security check?"

"Oh just the usual company shenanigans...someone's been a bit light fingered around the petty cash box if you ask me.  You've been here longer than I have, don't you have the lowdown?"

"The memo came as a complete surprise to me" replied Jeremy.  He gulped nervously and quietly followed Fanshawe back upstairs to their respective offices.

At the top of the flight of stairs on Jeremy's office level stood a pretty blonde woman, barely out of her teens, who stood out from the muted colours of the suits and the office decor in her bright sky blue and yellow outfit.  She had her gaze fixed on Jeremy as he ascended the staircase and as he got to the top, she interposed herself between him and Fanshawe.

"Mr Saint" she said in a voice that was succinct and to the point.  Jeremy had never met this woman before but she said his name in a manner that indicated she knew exactly who he was.

"That's me" Jeremy replied.

"I'm Alice...your new office assistant" she replied.

"Oh..." said a startled Jeremy.  "I didn't get a memo about an office assistant"

"It's all part of the security check.  I have been assigned to help facilitate matters, take the administrative burden from you and to ensure you and your department pass the investigation with a clean bill of health." she said in a very matter of fact way but with a light lilt to her voice that bordered on being like an air hostess who was delivering serious news.  Her eyes, a bright blue and made up in the latest mod style with heavy black eyeliner, never blinked and her lipstick was practically the same shade as her skin.  Jeremy was momentarily fixated by her looks but the tone in her voice made his stomach tighten again.

"You're in luck, Saint old boy...haw-haw-haw" said Fanshawe.  "Alice, once you're done with old Saint here, you can check my security anytime, haw-haw-haw" 

"I'm certain someone has been assigned to your office, Mr Fanshawe" said Alice, unemotionally.

"I'll bet...I'll bet...eh, Jeremy, old sport?"

"This is business, Fanshawe, I'm taking this seriously even if you're not" said Jeremy.

And for Jeremy this was serious business.  Fanshawe rarely took work seriously, always with a joke or...more often...a comment about pretty women, he always seemed to cruise through corporate culture but then he was college boy from a prestigious university and a fraternity man as well so opportunities always came a lot easier for him than for Jeremy:  A small town boy with a degree from a modest college.  Plus, Jeremy knew he was at Landgraab's under false pretences and was, by strict definition, a security risk...only they didn't know it.

Another secretary, a slightly older and more experienced one than Alice, approached the small group and addressed Fanshawe directly.

"Mr Fanshawe, your 10 o'clock sales group meeting is convening in conference room 1 in 10 minutes."

"Oh, thank you Carole" replied Fanshawe with a sigh.  "No rest for the wicked, eh?  I'll be along now, Carole.  Well, Saint, good luck with Alice here and to you, fair lady, I hope we meet again soon." he said, fawning over Alice.  Jeremy hadn't asked how things were going with his supposed girlfriend, Bianca, as he didn't want anything to do with that particular woman given his bad history with her.  It was hard to tell if Fanshawe was single again or just flirting with every woman in the building.

Alice had already shot off in the direction of his office and Jeremy trudged back as well, noticing that everyone in the company seemed on edge...as if the security check was bothering them as well.  Furtive, sideways glances, nervous smiles and an unspoken tension seemed to infest the very air of the building.

As lunchtime rolled around the staff of the Landgraab Corporation breathed a sigh of relief that they could get out of the building for just one hour to get away from the tension and suspicion.  They would disperse to the various eateries in the area with the Twin Oracle Cafe a very popular destination.  One person had a table for 2 booked at 12:15pm and he was very keen to get out and make that booking.  His name was Darrin Lew and he worked in the computer department.  Like Jeremy, he too had a lot on his mind about security and industrial spying and a lot to lose if caught.  He didn't like the idea of some low level clerk, secretary or jobsworth going through his work and finding something they considered off.

As he headed out of the building for his lunch appointment he was stopped by the co-chairwoman herself:  Nancy Landgraab.

"Mr Lew.  Do you have a minute to spare?" she asked.  

Darrin knew that was a rhetorical question; of course he had to spare as much time as the boss demanded.  "Yes, Mrs Landgraab.  What's the matter?"

"Oh nothing, nothing...I just wanted to congratulate you on all the good work you've been doing recently.  Your department is really shining right now." she replied.

"Oh...thank you, Ma'am.  I really appreciate that."  he said, with a slight smile on his face.

"And don't you worry about the security check.  It's just standard company policy to have an internal audit of our security ever so often.  Don't let it get in the way of your work."

"My department is very busy at the moment and I did have some concerns that extra people around the office asking for particular files might prove a distraction."

"They won't, I assure you.  Just keep on doing a good job...that's all" she said with one of her icy smiles that made the person she was talking to not know whether she was happy or displeased with them.

Darrin watched her leave the building and head towards Chez Llama whilst he headed straight to the Twin Oracle Point Cafe.  Jeremy was about two minutes ahead of him and scoped out a table to sit at...outdoors and away from other patrons so he and his lunch partner could talk undisturbed and out of earshot.

Almost as soon as he sat down his lunch partner had arrived.

"Jeremy, on time I see" 

"Just got here, Darrin.  Sit down, let's talk"

They ordered some food and drinks and then settled down to talk.  Jeremy looked around the area to see if they were being observed and, cautiously satisfied they weren't, he said...almost in a whisper  "Darrin, this security check...has someone come down to your office to snoop around because that's what's happened to me!  I've accessed the company computer more than once and I'm..."

"Relax, Jeremy.  I've sorted it" replied Darrin, calmly.

"You've what?"

"I've sorted it:  I've destroyed all traces of you accessing the company computer.  Those tapes have magically 'disappeared'."  He said, taking a sip of coffee.

"And they won't be found?" asked Jeremy.  Darrin shook his head.

"What about your trail?  Have you also...."

"Oh I destroyed the records of my own activity before I destroyed yours.  So they can't trace any activity back to us."

"That's a relief" said Jeremy, sitting back in his seat.  "So...what do we do whilst they go through our stuff?"

"We take it easy, buddy boy" said Darrin, still without a trace of worry on his face.  "It's important you don't lose your cool right now.  Tough it out, be nice and co-operative to Alice, and she'll trot back off to our masters giving you a clean bill of health."

"I'm not used to all this cloak and dagger stuff..." said Jeremy.

"Neither am I but I'm telling you to stay cool:  If they get you, they can get me and I'm not going to let that happen.  Just smile, say 'yes' and 'thank you' and she'll be gone in a couple of days.  Believe me." said Darrin, his face changing from relaxed to utter seriousness.  "Don't let us down by being nervous, Jeremy.  We've got a lot to play for."

"OK...you're right.  We'll have to stop using the computer for now but I need more evidence of the brainwashing going on and about the plans to buy up Foundry Cove." said Jeremy.

"That will come" Darrin replied.  "Now I've heard of some kind of resident's group protesting against the proposed buy; are you aware of them?"

Jeremy nodded.  "I know them, but I want to keep them out of our business.  The risk is all on me." he said.

"I understand" said Darrin, finishing up his coffee.  "But they could help us if we pass on anything we find to them.  Obviously this security check is going to delay us, but keep your contacts on the outside informed and ready to act when things ease off."

"Do you think it's wise to involve other people?  I thought this investigation was going to be just us?" said Jeremy.

"This is war against the Landgraabs, Saint.  Either you're in or out.  Which is it, Jeremy?  Which?"

CHAPTER 112: You're Welcome

 

"Good morning, Mr Saint"

"Good morning, Carole, lovely weather we're having" replied Jeremy Saint as he arrived at the offices of Dewey, Cheathem and Howe.  Carole nodded and walked on by; not wanting to be late for her meeting.  As for Jeremy, he had to negotiate three obstacles:  First, was the attention of his boss but that was fine because he was busy dealing with Jeremy's second obstacle:  Bianca.  Since joining the firm as J.J. Gotcha's secretary she would occasionally give him the eye and he felt uncomfortable.  If he caught sight of her in the distance, he'd make sure he never made eye contact and would take a circuitous route to his office just to avoid her.  His third obstacle was the "wit" of the man he shared an office with: Fanshawe.

"Good morning, Saint!" said Fanshawe, enthusiastically, the moment Jeremy walked into their office.

"You seem in a good mood, Fanshawe" replied Jeremy.

"More than just good...absolutely top of the world, for you see I have obtained TWO tickets to see Mr Burt Bacharach with FRIENDS in concert this Friday evening"

"Two tickets?  So who's the other person going to be?"

"Ah, that's what I wanted to ask you about..." said Fanshawe, dropping his voice and looking serious for a moment.

"Fanshawe, I'm flattered but..." said Jeremy.

"Not you!  I meant that superb specimen who is J.J.'s secretary"

"You mean...Bianca?" said Jeremy, sounding shocked.

"Yes, isn't she wonderful?" said Fanshawe, dreamily.  "The reason I'm telling you about my interest in her is that I understand you and her have a bit of...history?"

"Phht!  It was one date" said Jeremy, shrugging his shoulders.

"Still, wanted to give you the old heads up, buddy.  Are you OK with me asking her out?"

"I'm more than OK!" said Jeremy, enthusiastically.  "In fact, I couldn't be happier for you.  By all means take her to the concert and I'd add treat her to dinner as well:  She likes Italian." added Jeremy, slapping his colleague on the back.  

"I mean, if there are any residual feelings..." said Fanshawe.

"Trust me, there aren't" Jeremy wanted to give Fanshawe an unequivocal blessing.  If Bianca liked Fanshawe then she'd stop trying to flirt with and distract him.  Jeremy could finally get complete, 100% closure.  There was only one true love for Jeremy, and right about now she was probably deluged with customers over at the boutique.

There was only one person in Pack's Clothing at that time and that was the owner herself.  To say it was a slow morning would be an understatement:  It was a dead morning as far as customers were concerned but Barbara consoled herself with the knowledge that she'd only been open for an hour...still 7 hours left in the working day.  The last couple of days' saw brisk trading as she had to hire a temporary staff member who normally worked over at JF&S's but who helped out on his day off as a favour.  There were two awkward customers...one seemed to have had a panic attack...but her temp handled the situation well.  But he wasn't available today and probably for the better:  He'd have been wasting his time here.

Barbara thought a little mood music might make people, especially that vital teenage and youth crowd, want to come into the store.  

"Ahh, that's better" she said.  Barbara walked over to one of the mannequins and checked out the outfit that was on it.  It was brand new and inspired by Pierre Cardin...although getting an original Cardin outfit was way beyond Packs' budget.  Barbara adjusted the pose and shifted the dummy so that it could be seen better by anyone coming through the door.

No sooner as she had made those changes than her first customer of the day arrived.  However, they were not quite the type Barbara had in mind.  A tall, older lady who was a little on the large side had entered and was casting a suspicious eye over the premises.

"Can I help you, ma'am?" asked Barbara.

"Harumph...this place used to be a hardware store.  Where's Herman Pack?" replied the lady.

"That store closed down 10 years ago and Mr Pack retired.  I own the store now and, well, it's a fashion boutique."

"It's bright in here" said the lady.

"Can I help you find something you might like?" 

"I'll look for myself, thank you" said the lady, brusquely.  

Another customer entered the boutique and this time it was a much younger lady.  Barbara greeted her and asked if she could help in any way.

"I've just had my hair done and now I'm looking for a new outfit" said the young lady.

"You've come to the right place" replied Barbara.  "I love your hair and that blouse is sensational.  Now are you looking for something everyday or for a special occasion?"

"Something to impress when I'm out and about" replied the young woman.

"Huh!  You'll need to lose a few pounds before you can manage that!" said the old woman, grumpily.  The younger woman looked shocked when she heard such a brutal and blunt remark and Barbara could tell things could go rapidly south.

"Let me show you our European inspired line...." said Barbara, trying to whisk the younger woman away from the older one before the two customers came to blows.

"Who does that lady think she is?" said the younger woman.

"I know, I know...how about this?  It's inspired by Pierre Cardin" said Barbara.  She looked over to another area of the shop and noticed a bald, middle aged man standing too close to a shop dummy and who was rubbing his thighs and licking his lips.  "Oh no, a weirdo!" thought Barbara.

"Sir, can I ask you not to do that to the mannequin" said Barbara, trying to escort the man away from it.

"How much for it and the swimsuit?" said the man.

"The mannequin is not for sale, only the swimsuit" replied Barbara.

"Hngh!" said the man, indignantly and he walked off.

Barbara sighed...she had some awkward customers and no sales at the moment!  More people streamed in and with any luck some of them would want to buy something.  One teenage girl, dressed in the height of fashion, approached Barbara.

"Wow, how long has this shop been here?  It's fab!" she said.

"Oh, not long...coming up to one week now" replied Barbara.

"I love it!  Have you got anything by Mary Quant?"

"I have something a lot like it, come this way" said Barbara, her mood suddenly picking up.  This young lady was just the type of customer she was hoping to attract.

The young woman practically tried on every dress in the shop but Barbara made sure she dealt with other shoppers...and, all of a sudden, with an hour to go before closing time she was deluged with keen and eager customers.

It was all starting to be more than one person running a shop could handle.  However, the cavalry arrived in the form of Jeremy.

"Hey, sweetheart, how's business?" he asked Barbara.

"BUSY!  Now I need you to ring up some customers while I restock the shelves!"

"OK...Chief!" he said, sarcastically.

Between the two of them they managed to deal with all the customers and keep things stocked by closing time.  Exhausted, both of them headed back home for dinner.

"You should look into getting some permanent help" said Jeremy.  "You're rushed off of your feet as it is"

Barbara shook her head.  "I can't do that until we start making more of a profit.  These are early days and extra budget is going into publicity right now.  Once we start doing a healthy business, I'll hire a shop assistant"

"And how was your day?" she asked him.

"Oh it was very good, very satisfying" said Jeremy, his eyes lighting up.  "Fanshawe has asked....erm....one of the senior secretaries out to that upcoming Burt Bacharach concert".  He had to stop himself from saying "Bianca" because he didn't want Barbara to know that she was still on the horizon at work.

"I would love to go to that show!" said an enthusiastic Barbara.  "I wonder if there are any tickets left?"

"Oh I wouldn't have thought so" said Jeremy, defensively.

"Let's phone the theatre and find out.  You never know unless you ask!"

"I don't want to set you up for disappointment" 

"There's no harm in asking"

"Aren't we busy this weekend?  Aren't we seeing my folks or your folks or my brother-in-law?"

"Nope...nothing in the diary.  I'll phone the theatre tomorrow...maybe we can go to dinner at that Italian restaurant near there"

"NO!  I mean, I've heard there's an excellent French one nearby...supposed to be terrific.  Or Chinese!  Plenty of Chinese restaurants near there.  Or do you fancy steak?"

"I'll book the tickets, you book the restaurant...how does that sound?"

"Cosmic..." said a less than enthusiastic Jeremy.

Eventually Jeremy went to bed and Barbara tidied up in the kitchen when she was disturbed by a knock at the door.  "Who could it be at this time?" she muttered.

Answering the door she saw a stocky young man on the porch.  "Hello?" she said, checking her watch.  "It's very late"

"Is it?" said the man.  "We met back at the Llama Man convention.  I'm head of the Llama Man fan club and you signed a form indicating that you were interested in membership"

"Really?  I forgot about that...listen it's real late..." said a frustrated Barbara.

"Well you shouldn't have signed the form!" said the man.

"Well I didn't know you were going to show up a month later at 11 o'clock at night!"

"Is that late?"

"YES!  Now please, I just want to go to bed...goodbye"

"I'll put you down as a maybe?" said the man as the door shut in his face.

CHAPTER 88: Crunching The Numbers

 

Jeremy Saint arrived at the offices of Dewey, Cheathem & Howe with something weighing on his mind:  How much would he and Barbara have to raise to get that boutique up and running?  He knew one person in the company would have the answers...one who could calculate in his head the cost based on the idea, the plans, the refurbishment costs and the value of the property.  But this person was running late and Jeremy patiently waited in the lobby for him to arrive.

"Hello there, Saint, what are you doing down here?" said the very man Jeremy was waiting for.

"Actually I was waiting for you, Fanshawe" he replied.

"Shoot" said Fanshawe and the two of them walked upstairs to their office level.

"Did you get that business proposal I sent you?" asked Jeremy.

"The fashion boutique?  Yes I did...interesting idea, Saint, very interesting.  But I thought you were in legal compliance regulations, not commercial property?"

"Well, call this a 'side project' of mine, Fanshawe.  Anyway, by interesting you mean?"

"I mean the idea is sound, the market research was well done and shows promise.  But there's the matter of initial capital.  It's not going to be cheap"

"I guessed...do you have some numbers?" asked a tentative Jeremy.

"Not to hand, but my secretary does...I'll call her over.  Carol!" said Fanshawe, calling across to lobby to where his secretary was standing.  She was holding a stack of cardboard folders.

"Yes Mr Fanshawe?" asked Carol.

"The fashion boutique budget plan...do you have it with you?"

"Yes sir, it's here...give me a moment to dig it out" she said with an air of clipped efficiency in her voice.

She produced the folder and handed it to Fanshawe, who took a look inside before handing it on to Jeremy.  Jeremy gingerly opened it up, expecting the worst.  However, when looking at the final cost, he raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"So we'll have to take out a loan but it won't be a large one and, if the business does even reasonably well, you'll be able to manage the repayments" said Jeremy to Barbara once the two of them were back home.

"Well that's positive news" said Barbara, very satisfied at this bit of information.

"Another step closer, eh?" replied Jeremy.

"Thanks for doing all this; I really appreciate it...now, on to other things:  I need to get more exercise" said Barbara.  "I'm too static these days" 

"Well, let's make this a bit fun by going for a swim rather than do weights or running?" said Jeremy.

"A swim sounds great!"

They headed off to the Downtown pool for a swim and challenged each other to see who could swim the most laps.  After two, Barbara looked uncomfortable.

"Ouch!  My swimsuit is pinching me in all the wrong places!" she complained.  "It's too old, I need a new one"

There was one other person in the pool: An old man who looked exhausted.  He swam over to the ladder, got out, grabbed a towel and left.  Barbara let out a sigh of relief.

"Now he's gone....." she said as she took off her swimsuit. "Ahhh, that's so much better!" she said, tossing the suit to one side of the pool before swimming gently on her back, naked.

"What?  Barbara!  You!....You....can't do that!" said a nervous Jeremy.

"Do what?" she replied.

"Be in here....naked!" he said, wincing when he said the word 'naked'.

"Why not?  I didn't see any rules against it, there's only you and me here and this place isn't busy and besides, we can do this in Canada"

"We're not in Canada!" Jeremy was still frantic.

"Maybe not....but don't you like me like this; in nothing at all" she said, coquettishly, as she swam right up to him.

"Well....I do, but what if we get caught?" 

"Live dangerously, Jeremy!"

She playfully splashed him and he responded back and before long they were laughing and joking around.  They were also not disturbed their whole time in the pool, which was a relief to him.

Later they relaxed in one of the pool's hot tubs...which Jeremy insisted Barbara should wear her swimsuit in.  The pools were very popular today and he did not want to get chucked out by the pool management.

"Ahhh, this is so nice" said Barbara, shutting her eyes and enjoying the hot, bubbling water.  

"I noticed you were really putting in the laps back in the pool" said Jeremy.

"Well, I was more streamlined so I went faster" she replied, batting her eyelashes at him.

"You....there's a naughty side to you, Barbara Dubois"

"You love it though!"

"I sure do...and I'm not all stuffy and button down either:  Come here!" and he leant in and gave her a big kiss.

Eventually they left the pool and started on their way home when Jeremy had an idea.  "Barbara, just around the corner are the offices of Dewey, Cheathem & Howe.  It's a Sunday and only a security guard and the janitors are in...we could go in and get some more information about that shop site you want to buy."

"Are you sure we're allowed in?" replied Barbara.

"Sure...Hank, the guard, knows me!  It'll be fine!"

"Well, I didn't expect it to take THIS long to get to my office!" said Jeremy.

"I don't think Hank knows you as well as you think....but anyway, we're here now." replied Barbara.

"I asked my colleague, Fanshawe, for some information about city planning, retail and overheads...I'll search his desk, you look in that bookcase for anything that might help" said Jeremy, pointing towards a large bookcase along one side of the wall of the office.

They spent the best part of an hour looking around the office for the information they would need to help set up the boutique.  Barbara found some general books on tax for small stores and city planning regulations.  Jeremy found an in-depth guide to property in the Magnolia Promenade area and the information he needed to draw up a comprehensive loan plan to take to the bank.

They headed home soon after and when they got to Crick Cabana they found Julia Epstein, their friend and neighbour, waiting outside.

"Hi Julia" said Jeremy.  "How are you?"

"I'm...well....OK, you know" said Julia, but it was clear she was feeling awkward about something.

"Would you like to come inside for some coffee?" asked Barbara

"Actually, I can't stop...I'm off to a new art exhibition that's having its opening night.  I came by to ask you something...erm....about....fashion" said an awkward sounding Julia.

"Sure, fire away" replied Barbara.

"Remember when I asked you for some tips for how to dress for a trendy event and you pointed out this outfit in a magazine?  Well, I took your advice and bought it...the lot, the dress, the shoes, the tights...erm, does this look OK?"

"You look great and yes, that is ideal for your art event tonight:  Peppermint green and white are this season's colours.  I notice you haven't got your glasses on either"

"I'm wearing my contact lenses...I don't often wear them" she said, blinking wildly.  "Takes...a...bit of getting used to".  Julia was also tugging at the hem of her dress.

"No, that's the ideal length for this season" said Barbara, helpfully.  

"Sorry...I'm also not used to something this....well..." she said, embarrassed to say the word "...short" she said in a whisper.

Jeremy chimed in.  "Is there someone you're going to be meeting...someone a bit special?" he said with a smirk.

"Not that kind of thing!  I mean!  Me and some guy?  No!  I'm just trying to make a good impression on everyone there by looking more...what's the word?"

"Mod" said Barbara.

"Yes, Mod.  I fancied a slight change of image, that's all" said Julia, defensively.

"Well, I think you look very nice...what do you think, Jeremy?" said Barbara.

"Oh yes...very much so." he agreed; the finer points of Mod fashion lost on him.

"Thanks, Barbara, wish me luck...erm, I mean, making a good impression at this event....with everyone!  That is, no one in particular.  Bye!"

"I'll wager she fancies someone" said Barbara.  "It's a shame we're not going to this event tonight to find out"

"What?  Julia?  Fancies someone?  Come on, this is Julia we're talking about:  She hates romance!"

"So SHE says...no, feminine intuition tells me she's got someone special in mind....the question is; who?"