"I'm telling you, the Goths can't be the third part of the Triangle of Power" said Neil to Suzy at breakfast.
"Why not? It makes sense; they're an old established family with a lot of secrets...probably more than the Landgraabs and the Fengs" she replied.
"I know...but the third group are referred to as 'The Visitors'. Why is that? Why mention the Landgraabs and the Fengs by name but not the Goths? And besides, they're the original founding fathers of Sim City so they're hardly visitors by the other's standards."
"So if the Visitors aren't the Goths, who are they then?"
"I've got two theories" said Neil, warming to his point. "One, it's another family...looking into old, established families in the city the other one of note that has a complicated past are the Villareals."
"I haven't met any of them" said Suzy.
"They're very private and don't socialise much...but the other theory is that the third group might not be a family but an organisation. Who they are, what they do and who's a member I just don't know...yet"
"Well look at who's doing my job better than me right now!" said an impressed Suzy.
"I'm your researcher...you do the interviews and the writing part" said Neil.
"Well there's one bit of research I DON'T want you involved with today!" said Suzy, getting up from the dining table. "Summer and I are going to try on bridal dresses today and you're to be nowhere near us"
"Aww, spoilsport!" said Neil. "Good luck with that...I'm sure you'll choose something breath-taking with all your expert knowledge."
"And once I've sorted out the wedding and bridesmaid dresses, I'll sort out your suit!" said Suzy.
"What? Wait!" said Neil.
An hour later Suzy had met up with Summer Holiday outside of JF&S Clothiers; purveyors of bridal and formal wear. Both women were filled with a combination of excitement, trepidation and a sense that this made the impending nuptials seem ever more impending: It was about to get real!
"Well, we're here" said Summer, looking anxiously in the shop window. "Have you got any ideas of what you want?"
"I've been flooded with bridal magazines, catalogues and advice from my colleagues" said Suzy. "And at the end of it all I have no idea"
"Will you go with white?"
"Yes....definitely. Or maybe. Maybe not. Pink? Blue? Red? Oh this is so difficult!"
"Well we're not going to find any answers standing around out here: As your bridesmaid I insist we march into that shop right now!"
They entered JF&S's and were taken aback by the sheer variety of formal wear. A smartly dressed woman in a black Chanel suit approached them.
"Hello, how can I help you?" she said.
"Well, I'm getting married..." said Suzy.
"Oh congratulations" said the woman, graciously. "We will endeavour to help you look wonderful on your happiest of days"
"That's why we're here....this is my Maid of Honour" said Suzy, indicating Summer.
"And we will make sure you look divine as well" said the shop assistant. "Now have you thought about a theme? Are you going with classical, modern, vintage, short, long, very long, very short..."
"We've come here with a blank slate" said Suzy. "So we're in your capable hands"
"Excellent" said the woman, with an excited look in her eye. "Then let us begin your odyssey!"
"I think that's an excellent choice, Madam" said the shop assistant after an epic session trying on different dresses. "Flattering and romantic if I may say so"
"Thank you, the more I think about it, the more I love it" said Suzy. "And Summer, your dress will be the perfect accompaniment"
"Now you young ladies make sure you don't put on or lose weight between now and the happy day" warned the assistant.
As Summer and Suzy left the shop they stood in the bright Spring sunshine and took a deep breath. "I think we made the right choice, don't you?" said Suzy.
"Well, a bit late now if you want to change: You've put the deposits down on them"
It was time for the two friends to go their separate ways to work and Suzy had some research to do down at Willow Creek Archive.
She went straight upstairs to the most obscure, dusty and out of the way part of the archive to find out more about the local history of Sim City. There had to be more clues about who 'The Visitors' were. She pored over volume after volume in the hope that more of the book where that mysterious page she found a couple of months ago would be found in the collection. She researched the Landgraabs, the Fengs and the Villareals: Family histories, newspaper archives and general history books of the region but she was coming up blank.
After a frustrating time at the library, it was time to go home for dinner. Neil was already there, changed into his work outfit.
"Hey, darling" he said "how did it all go today?"
"Well....I have a wedding dress now" Suzy replied.
"Ooh, nice. And I take it I'm not allowed to know what it's like?"
"Absolutely top secret until you see me coming down the aisle"
"I didn't know you were so traditional"
"Only when it comes to weddings" she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"Well, I'm off to work now..." said Neil. "By the time I come back you'll have probably booked the Sim City Philharmonic for the wedding band"
"Don't tempt me! See you later"
The grilled fruit for dinner...a choice motivated by having to maintain her figure from now until the wedding...was filling but still she had the feeling that she'd hit a wall in her investigations. Restless, she sought out the one person she knew well enough to help answer her questions.
"John...hi, I'm not intruding am I?"
"Suzy...long time no see, girl!" said Action, answering the door with a smile. "Come on in...what can I do for you?"
"Thanks. Well, I'm looking for some answers to many questions I have"
Action's face changed from jovial to serious. "Is this about your investigations into the Landgraabs? I warned you that could be dangerous"
"I know, but it's more than that...it involves them, and the Fengs and Jacques Villareal as well"
Action shot Suzy a piercing glare at the mention of the name, Villareal. "What do you know about Jacques Villareal?"
They sat down on the couch together. "I know his family are one of the oldest in the city and that he's a widower" said Suzy.
"She disappeared without a trace and he's the leading suspect. She was legally declared dead but not one shred of evidence could be found to connect him to her vanishing, even though he had motive, means and opportunity"
Suzy was shocked to hear this. "Do you think he could be connected to the Landgraab's criminal activities?"
"Heck, I can't even pin anything on them either!" said Action, in frustration. "Look, let's share some information...strictly off the record, of course"
"Of course" replied Suzy.
"There's this case I'm working on that I believe might involve all the different strands you're interested in" began Action. "Last week someone tried to shoot Lily Feng....or a woman called Madelyn Buchanan. Ever heard of her?"
"No, I haven't" said Suzy. "Who is she?"
"She's Alan Cuffe's personal assistant. Here's a photo of her" he said, handing her a photo from his case file.
"Wait! I've seen this woman before!" exclaimed Suzy. "Yes, I've seen her with Malcolm Landgraab: They were conducting some kind of shady deal at the Bowl-O-Rama."
"Now that is interesting" said Action. "Now we don't know who the gunman is or who they were working for but either this Madelyn or Lily Feng were the targets."
Suzy thought for a moment before saying. "If the target was Cuffe's assistant then it's likely a rival of the Landgraabs. Could it be Jacques Villareal?"
Action shrugged his shoulders "Could be...worth following up. If the target was Lily Feng then we're in the dark about who would want her dead: She's got no criminal record, nothing in her background about receiving threats."
"Maybe whoever it was wants to get at Victor by getting her?" mused Suzy.
"Dang! Nothing is connecting up neatly" said Action,
"If I find out anything more, I'll let you know" said Suzy.
"I'd appreciate that" said Action. "But that information about Madelyn and Malcom is very useful to me. Very useful indeed."
Suzy then headed back home but just outside Action's house she saw Bakko Jang walking past.
"Hey, Suzy...how are the plans for the big day going?" he asked in his usual, jovial manner.
"Oh, fine...fine..." she responded, flicking her mind from her investigations to wedding planning. "Say, Bakko, you're on our guest list but I was wondering if you'd like to do the music for the reception as well?"
"Suzy, Suzy...you don't have to ask. Consider it my wedding present for you guys." said Bakko.
Well, that was another thing on the wedding list to cross off. If only her investigation was this straightforwards.
"98...99...100! And........rest!" said Jeremy after he and Barbara finished their keep fit routine down at Skye Fitness, the exclusive health club that Jeremy had become a member of through his contacts at work.
"Phew, I am ready to collapse into a heap!" said Barbara.
"Ah, not yet...today's a big day!" said Jeremy.
"The way I'm feeling right now I'm not sure I could even open the door of the shop" she gasped, looking for the nearest water cooler to get a drink form.
"I have good news on that front...for the first official opening day of Pack's Clothing I have found you a keen and dedicated shop assistant!"
"Oh yes, who's that?" she asked.
"Me" he said, proudly. "I've taken the day off so I will be your willing gopher. I have no idea about fashion but I can work a register, take inventories, do the accounts..."
"Jeremy, that is fab news!" she said, putting her arms around him. "It will be great...you and me...working together and I'll teach you everything you need to know about how to sell clothes"
"I will put myself into your capable hands" he said, giving her a little kiss.
They showered, dressed and on their way out of the health club they spotted an old friend: Bakko Jang. He was setting up his amplifier and tuning his guitar for another public gig. Jeremy had to go and see him as Bakko was a loyal and wise friend of his.
"Well, well, well if it isn't Sim City's cutest couple...how are you guys doing?" said Bakko, putting down his guitar.
"We're good...invigorated after some exercise" said Jeremy.
"Speak for yourself! I'm aching!" said Barbara.
Bakko let out a little laugh. "I hope you have enough energy for your grand opening today. Well done on getting it ready on time. I was down that way on Friday and had a little look in the window. Groovy place you've got there, Babs. I dig the style."
"Thanks Bakko. Could we tempt you to come along and visit later?" she replied.
"Maybe, guys, maybe...gotta gig at the Narwhal Arms later on but...this is one way I can help...I'll get the word out to all the people I meet and tell them about the shop. But get a load of you two: To think how far you have come since I first met you...well done guys; you're beautiful people."
Barbara was moved to go over and give Bakko a big hug, and Jeremy shook his hand vigorously.
"Hey, don't crush my strumming hand! That's my livelihood!" joked Bakko.
They said their goodbyes and headed over to the boutique. There it stood; now fully furnished, decorated and stocked. It was the first day of a new venture and Barbara gulped at the prospect of running a business that she was entirely responsible for.
"OK...this is it! I'm really nervous!" said Barbara, holding tightly on to Jeremy's hands.
"Teamwork, Barbara, teamwork...I'm here by your side" he replied. She nodded, reached for the key to the shop and opened the door. Her kingdom awaited inside.
"Right, what can I do to help?" asked Jeremy.
"OK, erm...I know; can you check to see everything is in its right place and clean and switch on the radio for some background music" said Barbara.
"OK, what station? A little Mitch Miller or Lawrence Welk or even Perry Como if you want something more out there"
Barbara rolled her eyes. "None of that square stuff you listen to with your parents, Jeremy. I want a Carnaby Street vibe in here so we're going British Invasion. Something like The Who"
"I have no idea who. I don't know these British bands"
"I mean there's a band called The Who"
"The what?"
"Not The What...THE WHO!"
"I'll get cleaning" said Jeremy, puzzled as to why a band would call themselves something vague like 'The Who'.
Jeremy checked over the shop in such detail that Barbara had to hurry him up..."It's nearly 9am, Jeremy, quickly...get ready I'm going to flip the open sign" she said.
They watched the wall clock and counted down the last few seconds: 5...4...3...2...1 and OPEN! Barbara flipped the sign and jogged back to the cash register. Jeremy looked around, wondering where he should be in the shop.
And nothing happened for the first fifteen minutes. Barbara and Jeremy had primed themselves for the moment of opening they were motionless enough that anyone passing might mistake them for one of the mannequins. One very trendily dressed young woman walked past the shop, paused by the window and for a moment Barbara thought she would be their first customer, but in the end the woman walked on and off into the distance.
Eventually someone did enter the shop: A lady of Asian descent who was wearing a long, floral patterned dress. Jeremy recognised her.
"Hello...it's Officer Datta, isn't it?" he said.
"Yes it is...now I know you from somewhere, don't I?" she responded.
"I'm John Action's neighbour. We met once before"
"Oh yes, so this is your shop...is it?" she said, looking around.
"Well, it's my girlfriend's actually...I'm helping out for the day. Can I help with anything?"
Barbara came over to them. "Hello, I'm Barbara and welcome to Pack's Clothing."
"Well...I've been invited to something called a 'mod party' and I'm looking for a new party dress" said Datta.
"I've got this from here, Jeremy" said Barbara.
"Thanks" he replied, quietly. "I have no idea what you wear to a mod party"
Barbara took Prisha Datta and showed her various items that might be suitable for the event but it wasn't long before a second customer entered and Jeremy had to deal with him.
The young man looked intense and worried and his gaze darted from mannequin to shelf to display pedestal. With Barbara busy with Prisha, Jeremy felt he had to step up to the plate to help the man.
"Erm, hello. I'm Jeremy and I work here...well, I kind of help out here...it's my girlfriend's shop and...you don't actually need to know any of that except that I'm here to answer any questions and hopefully find what you're looking for"
The young man gave Jeremy a blank stare before eventually speaking. "Yeah, so my roomies tell me that they don't want to be seen in public with me whilst I'm wearing this T-shirt...shirts, really, I own 5 exact copies...and, well, you know what it's like with women..." he said gesturing to Barbara with his head. "There's this chick I share a house with and she's like really hot and groovy and...you know, man, I've got to dress to impress and all that scene."
"I think...I follow you" said Jeremy. "Dress to impress a woman..." he said, looking frantically around the shop. "...I think we can help you in that department...let's try....over there!" he said, pointing towards a couple of male mannequins. He spotted a brochure for the clothing supply company on the countertop and grabbed that: He needed a script to work from.
Meanwhile Barbara was giving advice to Prisha. "Now this peppermint green dress is the height of fashion at the moment..." she said, indicating the mannequin.
Prisha looked at it and hummed "I'm not sure...I have seen that exact dress around town and I want something more distinctive"
"OK...I think I have just the thing!" said Barbara.
The young man, who was named Mitchell, went into the changing booth to try on an outfit that Jeremy recommended. Mitchell stepped out of the booth to inspect himself in the mirror whilst Jeremy read the text from the brochure.
"This patterned shirt, made from a Dacron/Draylon mix is the cutting edge in male style, especially when teamed with these Crimplene slacks. Only $13.80 when bought with the shirt."
"I dunno, man" said Mitchell. "I think the shirt's too snug around my gut... I can see some of my belly hairs poking out"
Jeremy grimaced at the idea of "belly hairs" poking through a shirt. "I'm sure we can find something more suitable" he said, looking around the shop again.
Prisha still couldn't make up her mind as Barbara showed her more and more things to try on but another customer entered the shop, then another. "If you require any help, sir, just give me or my assistant a call and we'll be with you in a moment" she said.
"I'm still with this other guy!" said Jeremy, softly, to her.
"Just leave these new people to browse and if they look like they want to ask something, let them know you'll be along as soon as you can. Don't make them feel ignored" said Barbara.
As Jeremy and Barbara tried to help their most indecisive customers it turned out that Prisha and Mitchell helped each other. He was trying on a Corduroy suit with a brown turtleneck sweater underneath and this drew favourable comment from Prisha.
"I have a work colleague who wears those kinds of suits...and he's the coolest man I've ever met" she said.
Mitchell raised an eyebrow and said "Really?" He looked again in the mirror, sucked in his gut and stood in profile to inspect himself. "Yeah, I like the idea of this kind of suit but...I don't like the colour. What is this, mycelium?"
"I have a similar suit over here but in more a kind of orange...orangey brownish...well, something like that" said Jeremy, indicating another mannequin.
Meanwhile Barbara thought she'd hit the jackpot with Prisha. "OK" she asked the customer "how are you with short?"
"Short? As in mini short?" replied Prisha.
"Yes, mini...quite mini in fact. Would that present a problem?"
"Erm...." Prisha thought. "Well...I am proud of my Indian heritage so I like the long, flowing look with the hint of the traditional Hindi style. I've never worn a miniskirt though"
"OK, now you might not like this but give it a go" said Barbara, holding out a few blue wisps of nothing much. "It's mod...very mod. It's about the most mod dress I have in stock at the moment."
Prisha took it from Barbara's hands and felt the material. "My, this is so light, so delicate to the touch!" she said.
"Double layer chiffon over satin" said Barbara.
Prisha thought about it. Well, I'll try it for the material alone" she said and Barbara showed her the way to the changing room.
It was a nervous few minutes for Barbara as she saw yet another customer enter and she was keen to close the deal and sell her first item. Eventually Prisha emerged from the changing room and Barbara let out a gasp when she saw the dress on the customer.
"How do you like it?" asked Barbara.
"Hmmm" said Prisha, taking a few steps up and down and looking in the mirror. The fabric feels amazing but....wow, that's a lot of leg I'm showing. She looked herself up and down once more. Yes...YES...I like this a lot! I'll take it"
Barbara cheered inside and could hear the cash register ringing in her head. Jeremy too was having some luck. Mitchell had found something he liked as well.
"Yeah, I can dig this" said Mitchell.
Two sales down but more customers were entering the shop.
"No resting on our laurels!" said Jeremy to Barbara.
As well as full outfits, accessories were selling well too: Men's shoes, women's earrings and sunglasses were shifting and eventually the division of labour was changed so that Barbara assisted the customers and made sales whilst Jeremy restocked items sold.
5pm came around and, as the last customer left with a purchase of a Dacron/Draylon patterned shirt Barbara could finally flip to shop sign to "closed". She turned to Jeremy and said "phew, what a first day! We had more customers than I'd expected. How did we do sales wise?"
Jeremy had the accounts book in front of him. "You might want to sit down for this bit of news" he said.
"OK, sock it to me" said Barbara.
"Now this is subtracting utility bills and restocking sold items but....the profit for today was....$534."
"Five...hundred...?" gasped Barbara.
"...and thirty four Simoleons...oh and 75 cents" said Jeremy.
"That's way above our projections! And that profit goes straight into our bank account?"
"It goes straight into our bank account"
Barbara was left speechless. Jeremy produced a bag from behind the counter. "Now I took the liberty of having a little trophy commissioned to celebrate your first sale...I thought it might look good hanging from that wall" he said, pulling a framed certificate with the words "CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR FIRST SALE: BARBARA DUBOIS, PROPRIETOR, PACK'S CLOTHING" written on it. He hung it on a spare picture hook on one of the walls.
Barbara was moved and called Jeremy over. "Tell me, lover, how much profit did we make today?" she said, grabbing him around the waist.
"Five hundred and thirty four Simoleons..." he whispered as her mouth drew close to his "and seventy....five....cents..."
"You're so sexy when you quote statistics!" she said, pulling him closer for a big kiss.
"Phew...I feel giddy!" said Jeremy.
"There's more where that came from..." said Barbara, seductively.
"No, seriously, I actually feel giddy...and hot...and nauseous"
"And you've got red blotches all over your face...we need to get you home this instant!"
Once back home Jeremy took a big gulp of medicine whilst Barbara made them a meal. Sitting next to each other on the sofa they looked back on a first, successful day of the boutique.
"I swear that Mitchell guy hadn't washed that shirt he came in with for weeks...maybe even months. I must have gotten a flea bite from it"
"I could not have got through this day without you; maybe a career in retail is beckoning?" she said, smiling.
"I was rushed off my feet I can tell you; I think I like my office desk just fine. But we did learn a lot today; you'll be fine tomorrow"
The two of them snuggled and unwound from the day's events. Barbara eventually decided to call it a night and headed to bed. Jeremy wanted to stay up a little bit later to watch the latest episode of The Saint.
No sooner had the words "may I present to Your Majesty the infamous Simon Templar", the familiar halo appearing above The Saint's head and the opening theme tune started, there was a knock at the door. Jeremy went to see who it was and found Suzy Kent on the front porch.
"Hey, Jeremy, I just dropped by to see how the grand opening went"
"Barbara's gone to bed but...yeah, it went really well. Well, that's what the balance sheet says" he said.
"Did you sell that trendy blue dress I told Barbara about?" Suzy enquired.
"Heck, I don't know what we were selling...she was the expert, I just muddled through. What is 'Dacron' anyway?"
Suzy laughed and Jeremy ushered her inside where he could tell her more about the day.
"It sounds like you guys had a great first day" said Suzy.
"We did...and I'll tell you now; that was the best day off I've ever had!" Jeremy replied.
Suzy turned to him and looked him in the eyes. "You're perhaps the finest man I know" she said.
Jeremy blushed. "I mean, what about Neil? What about your dad?" he blurted.
"You remind me a bit of both of them. You're Barbara's very own White Knight: All that's missing is the horse and the armour"
"Madelyn, we need to have an urgent discussion" said Alan Cuffe. He hadn't seen his live in companion and personal assistant either yesterday or at breakfast today and had only now seen her emerge from her bedroom. He downed the last of his juice and called her over.
"What's up, Alan?" she replied, innocently. "I can tell something's bothering you"
"You're right; something is bothering me. I had a little discussion about you with Nancy Landgraab yesterday."
"Oh yeah, what did she have to say?" said Madelyn, giving a contemptuous shrug of her shoulder when Nancy's name was mentioned.
"She told me about your shady business dealings with Malcolm Landgraab...the drugs." said Alan, bluntly.
Madelyn said nothing at first. Alan pressed her.
"Well?" he said. "What's the deal here?"
"So I buy a little pot off of Malcolm Landgraab; it's no big deal" she said.
"From what I've been told it isn't a little; you're buying it off him in bulk!"
"Bulk? Hardly! OK, it's a little more than just for personal use; I sell some on to some of my herbalist friends and some guys down at Britechester U. But it's really not that much, a couple of kilos or so"
Alan threw his hands up in despair "A couple of kilos! If you're caught with that amount on you you're going down and I'll most likely go down with you! I have a successful business to run and I cannot be involved with scandal of that kind"
"Alan...you're not against pot use: You don't complain when some of us light up at Kitten Club meetings"
"Personal use no, but we're talking dealing! I run a clean ship, Madelyn!" he said, protesting.
"We walk the line, Alan, with the law in lots of different ways" she said, calmly.
"I stay on the right line all the time!" he said, defensively. "The club members are all over 18, we have a liquor licence and what I publish falls squarely within the 1st Amendment. I know the cops won't bust us for just a little pot use at a party or something like that but you can't be buying and selling narcotics whilst you work for me and live under my roof!"
Madelyn said nothing.
"Furthermore, this situation with the assassin makes things worse...what if the target wasn't Lilly Feng but you instead? Maybe it's one of Nancy's or Malcolm's goons trying to silence you? Have you thought about that?"
Madelyn shook her head.
"Right. So you've got a choice: Continue to run your own private dealership with Malcolm but you'll have to cut ties with me and Lothario Publishing or stop the dealing completely and stay working for me and living here. Which is it to be?"
"I don't want to ruin our partnership, Alan. I'll break off contact with Malcolm" she said, apologetically.
Cuffe nodded, stood up and went to his office to begin work.
SNEEDLEY BURROW, THE NEXT MORNING
"Hmmm, that smells wonderful George" said Edna, taking in the waft of freshly grilled meat that George was preparing.
"Only the finest for you, my love" he replied.
Edna took a look around the neighbourhood before saying "It's a lovely morning, a beautiful blue sky" before her gaze settled on the ramshackle converted trailer home that was the abode for their neighbour, the struggling comedian Johnny Zest. "It's a shame more people around here don't take better care of their homes"
"I quite agree" said George. "I like to think we set a good example around here"
"An exemplarily example, George" Edna added.
George handed her a serving of the freshly cooked breakfast and they sat down on their front porch to eat it. After making some small talk, they went inside to clean up the plates and also discuss the plans for the day.
"George, later on this morning we'll have our next League of Decency meeting. Will you have time to help me plan it and get the house ready for guests?"
"I've taken the trouble to write a fresh agenda, Edna" he said proudly.
"Music to my ears" responded Edna.
"It'll be the debut of the uniforms" added George.
"Yes. That should give everyone just a little extra oomph today; a sense of purpose" she replied.
"And then shall we protest outside of Hey Wow magazine?"
"Hmmm, maybe right now that might be a little beyond our reach. We need to get our message out there and then hit the depraved society hard. But we shall canvass our members' opinions on the matter....now is that?" Edna paused to look out of the front window. "I do believe that is Scott Urban outside...he's somewhat early for the meeting"
"I think he must be doing his mail route" said George.
"I will go and see" said Edna. Scott Urban was the League's newest recruit: An ex-Army man and current mailman for the neighbourhood. He had a quiet, no-nonsense rural ruggedness about him which appealed to Edna: A nod towards America's pioneer past.
However, Edna saw that he was standing at the end of their road, doing some kind of strange dance or martial art.
"Mr Urban...how lovely to see you here." said Edna. "Might I enquire what you are doing?"
"Tai Chi, Ma'am" replied Scott in his Virginia drawl. "I learned it in the Army...it's a system of moves and exercises designed to tone the muscles and achieve focus"
"Is it really? How interesting. Are you here for the meeting? It's not due to start for a couple of hours"
"No Ma'am, I've got that writ down in my diary. I'm doing my mail route right now and I'll be right over when I'm done...sorry I won't be in the new uniform today: I tried it on, fits real nice and the colour's decent."
"Not to worry, Scott" said Edna, smoothly. "It's your presence we really value. I will see you in a couple of hours then"
They said goodbye and Edna headed back to the Burrow. George was already changing his clothes and Edna did likewise; her carefully pressed uniform was checked for spotlessness with not a stray hair in place. Then she retouched up her make up, made sure her boots were so shiny she could see her face in them and then went back to the living room to make it as hospitable for her guests as possible. Then she went to pour herself a glass of sherry as a pick me up.
One by one they arrived: First Scott, straight from his mail route and then Julia, who was wearing the uniform of the League of Decency as well. Everyone seemed impressed by the new look.
"Well I must say this is a splendid turn out...even though we all appreciate that Scott had to come straight from work to be here I must declare the uniforms a success!" said Edna.
"I say, Dr Epstein, you look mighty fine" said Scott, giving Julia an admiring gaze.
"Please, it's Julia" she replied.
"Sure thing, Ma'am, I mean...Julia" Scott said, bashfully.
"Moving on to business" said Edna. "Item One: A protest has been organised in San Myshuno near the Skye Fitness centre...that is courtesy of a friend and ally, Ken Pepper, who has organised a space for us to hold our first public meeting. Myself and George will be giving speeches"
The others all made notes in their diaries.
"Item Two: George will be printing flyers about the League for us to hand out at the protest. Item Three: A review of books and publications that are deemed not suitable for public consumption without heavy warnings...."
Everyone grabbed a book or magazine that were in a neat pile on the table and started to peruse them. Scott had a magazine called "Leather Cyclist" which had a picture of a young, pouting woman on the cover who was wearing nothing but a leather biker's jacket and a pair of panties on the front. Julia had a book in her hand called "Let It All Hang Out: An Appreciation of Nudist Colonies". As she walked past, George also took in Julia's appearance favourably "She reminds me of Edna when she was young...when I was young" he thought, wistfully.
Julia flicked through the book and then shut it, firmly. "What shall we do if we think the material is disgusting?" she asked.
"We make a note and then send our objections to the publisher. If we do not receive a satisfactory reply then we start an awareness campaign to get more people complaining." said Edna.
"And what if they don't complain?" asked Scott.
Edna took a moment to smile at Scott before answering: "Oh people will complain; don't worry about that. You need the RIGHT people to do so"
"I would suggest" said George "That everyone takes home a book or magazine, highlight the sections that cause offence and log them down in a journal so we can point out the specifics to others"
"Good idea...but if the material gets too strong, do take a break and contact a fellow League member for support" added Edna.
The meeting drew to a close and everyone went home, energised from a positive session. George, in particular was pleased at how it'd gone.
"I thought the others were fired up today" he said. "I must say I feel most invigorated as well"
"Anyway, I must get ready for work...have a lovely afternoon, dear" he said.
After he had left Edna took a look around Bedrock Straight and sighed. There was the ghastly Zest home in all its ramshackle tawdriness. The house next door, once belonging to the even more ghastly Alan Cuffe and the scene of his vile parties, had a "for sale" sign outside and the other property was unoccupied since they took the old man away to the retirement home. The truth was, despite the immaculate condition of Sneedley Burrow, Edna was often at a loose end when George wasn't around and the rest of the neighbourhood depressed her. She went to the fridge to pour herself a glass of wine but none could be found. Then she had a thought: She was going to go and try to recruit new members, why not try at the Solar Flare Lounge?
"Gee, I don't know, Mrs Sneedley...I guess it's hard to find a decent man these days" said the bar tender.
"Exactly, that's my point. Where are the decent men, I ask you? Where are those who are courteous, chivalrous and dutiful these days? Where?"
"I had a good man...once, although I thought he was good." said the bar tender. "Got shipped off to West Germany and fell in love with a local farmgirl. I got the 'Dear Jane' letter a few weeks later"
"Ugh, those foreign women! Such a distraction!" said Edna with a huff. As she drank her wine she would strike up conversations with other patrons.
"I can tell a smartly dressed young man is interested in holding up standards of decorum and good taste"
"Ma'am, I'm the Nightclub Singer. This is my uniform when I work here." said the man.
"Oh I see...will you be playing any music by Perry Como in your act tonight?" said Edna.
At that moment her friend, Ken Pepper entered the lounge. "Edna, no George this evening?" he said.
"He's at work still. How goes things at your school?" she replied.
"Sheesh, kids these days...so lazy, always complaining that that P.T. is too hard for them. Too hard! They're soft these days, soft" said Ken.
"Tell me about it! I'm on a little recruiting drive for the League this evening...I was hoping to meet some people who are fed up with all that laziness and excuse making."
"If I had the time, Edna, I'd join...say, are you hungry? I haven't had chow yet and was thinking of heading to the Spice Festival...do you want to come? If George knocks off early at work he can join us"
"Spicy food...do you know, I haven't tried any. I might just come along" she said, curious to see what the Spice Festival was all about.
"So what does one do at a Spice Festival?" asked Edna.
"Well, you try different kinds of spicy food basically...you've got your Mexican, Chinese, Thai, Moroccan...that kind of thing."
"Sounds....interesting" said Edna without much conviction. The truth be told, she was here mostly for a recruitment drive.
Edna and Ken went over to the tables to sample the dishes on offer, with Ken tucking in with enthusiasm. However Edna heard a voice from behind her that felt like a glass of cold water being poured down her back.
"Edna Bunt? Is that you?" the voice said. Edna turned around to see a face she hadn't seen in 20 years.
"Katrina McTavish...how...lovely to see you. What a surprise" she said in a voice that dripped with false sincerity.
"Actually, it's Katrina Caliente now."
"Is it really? I'm Edna Sneedley now"
"I haven't seen you since the High School Leavers' Prom" said Katrina. "So you went and got married...that's funny because in the yearbook you were voted..."
"Person least likely to get married. Yes, I remember...and you were person most likely to have 3 children before the age of 25"
"Actually, it was two in the end...two girls." said Katrina. "I mean, I could have a third at 39..."
"Katrina dear, I know how old we both are...we were in the same year. So did you end up marrying Flammy Caliente?"
"I did...I did. He died, sadly" Katrina's face dropped for a moment. "But I've found another wonderful man in my life; Don." Katrina leaned in towards Edna and whispered into her ear. "He's a little bit younger than us but, boy, being with a younger man does wonders for the complexion and fitness...do you know what I mean?" and she leant out, nudged Edna in the ribs with her elbow and gave a snorting laugh.
"How nice for you" said Edna, supressing a look of disdain. "My George is a successful chef and a wonderful husband: I couldn't ask for more."
"Well look at you...Edna Bunt, now Sneedley...all married and doing well for yourself. You're looking good for a woman your age...I envy your thinness...you must tell me your secret."
"Yes. Another time perhaps" replied Edna.
"Yes, we must catch up more...call me" said Katrina, walking away and miming a phone gesture.
Edna smiled and waved goodbye. When Katrina was in the distance, she mumbled "slut!". Sighing she put down the bowl of...whatever that food was...and headed to a nearby temporary bar: She needed another drink after that hot chilli and chat with Katrina.
She went to join Ken, who was watching a street musician. "Any joy finding people to join the League?"
"No...so far the only people I've met are MOST unsuitable."
"I know you, Edna, you won't give up easily"
"I won't give up at all" she replied, defiantly.
Eventually the festival petered out and Ken and Edna said goodnight to each other. She got a taxi home, hoping to find George there and awake but he'd left a note on the dining room table. "CHAOS AT THE RESTAURANT, DOG TIRED. GONE TO BED. LOVE, GEORGE"
She sighed. It was kind of him to leave the note but, again, those feelings of frustration, emptiness and boredom when things weren't moving forward rose up within her again. She went to the drinks cabinet.
